It’s been snowing here in Portland. Supposedly the biggest snow storm in 40 years. Because of that, most of us have been holed up in our homes. We can take walks here and there, but driving doesn’t work so well. I couldn’t even get my truck away from the curb. So I’ve been holed up in the house, cleaning and looking after my new puppy, Lucy. The exciting news is that Lucy is about half housetrained. Right now she is convinced that if she poops outside, and goes to the side door, she will get a treat. But if she is in the back bedroom, the carpet feels too much like lawn and she goes there. She’s only ten days into training, so I am sure she will figure it out soon enough.
The penned up energy of being in the house is being channeled toward finishing the new book. It’s due mid January. I’m enjoying the process, but in the pressure to get the book completed, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be human, to need to work, to want to accomplish and succeed, and what plays in those motives. I was sharing with a couple friends who were visiting from out of town the other night, both of them in their mid-thirties, that I miss those twenty-something days where you were more motivated to do good work for other reasons than just good work can provide. Without knowing it, we more or less agreed the motivation to get married and get a job and find your identity fueled much of our motivation in the early days. They say most genius’ complete their greatest works before the age of 26. (I think they are obviously wrong, but it’s remarkable how many great thinkers complete their theories in that span. John Calvin and Albert Einstein come to mind). But when much of the mating and identity ritual is accomplished, the motivation becomes harder, because by necessity it must become purer. The work (in my case) is really about the literature. And I wish that were always enough. It isn’t, at least for me (and I am convinced people who say it is really have some sort of ulterior motive, such as the need for validation or affirmation)…
There is a reason older, wiser people just look at those of us who are younger as though we will get it “some day.” They do not have words to explain that the things we think matter, do not. And perhaps they do not know exactly what matters, either.
Perhaps because we’ve been snowed in, and because I’ve had little to do but clean the house and write and think, I’ve been watching Lucy (the aforementioned dog) and wondered why God made her. A pet. Just a dog (chocolate lab puppy) that runs and jumps and chews things and, even though we’ve only known each other for a couple weeks, wants nothing more than to please me. She puts on no airs, which is one of the things I think we find so comforting about pets and children. There is no false motive, only the desire to eat, reproduce and play.
I think of that scripture that tells us to not think more of ourselves than we should, and not less of ourselves either. I think if Lucy could understand a hearing of that passage, she’d probably tilt her head and say “what is an I?”….all she knows is her red ball and her weasel chew toy and the fact she can dig her nose into snow to make a tunnel.
Life is not all good for Lucy, for sure. She got a shot from the vet the other day and cried pretty loud about it. If I leave the house for an hour (something I’ve managed to do twice since I got her) she is convinced the world has ended, and needs about ten minutes of being held while she cries once I return. I suppose she will get past that.
I wonder what it was like for humans before the fall of man, to not think too much or too little of themselves, to enjoy play, to enjoy work, to enjoy God. I think the difference between them and us would be startling. If they could come here today and have a conversation with us, my guess is they would sniff out all our motives and wonder why it is we care about so many things that don’t matter at all.
This isn’t much of a Christmas post. You can get about a million of those on other blogs. But this winter, holed up in the house because we are snowed in, these are the things I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been thinking it would be great to be a little more like Lucy. To not know about critics or dangling participles, but just to burry my nose into the words and trench through them for the sheer joy of writing. I think that might get me closer to being human. Or canine.
I have to go. Lucy is at my feet whimpering because it’s been more than half an hour since I got down on the floor and let her bite my ears. Have a great day, everybody.
Don
P.S. Before you leave this post thinking you should be more like Lucy, I should disclose Lucy often stares into blank space and barks as though she is looking at a ghost (I call it her Hamlet monologue, often saying back to her “is that a dagger you see before you?”) and she also eats her own poo. Purity comes at a price.
Speaking of poetry, there is a poetry site I’m pretty positive you’ll fall madly in love with. http://www.KnifeGunPen.com. I met the author at a christmas party, and by the end of the night, had read several poems off his website. (iPhone makes life dangerous!). I think even one aloud….(eggnog + tequila is a strange comb…)
-T
Aww, cute dog! It’s amazing what you can learn from a dog, isn’t it?
Merry Christmas, Don. Can’t wait to read the new book!
Aww Lucy!! She is adorable, Don. My roommate and I are coveting her! We want a puppy so badly, but so far it has not worked out. We would like a weimaraner. So congratulations on becoming a new puppy daddy!
I grew up in a household where any stray was just taken in with no fuss. We lived on a farm (but no longer operated it), and we were never without two or three dogs and twenty cats – all strays or the descendants of strays. I was raised with the unconscious notion that people who didn’t like animals were in possession of a very cold and empty heart! Ha! So your post about Lucy really speaks to me; I think that God sent us puppies to teach us how to love. I think it should be a requirement for all married couples to have a dog before they have a child!
Anywase, good luck with the snow! I live in Arkansas, and we had a big ice storm last week – I got to miss two days of work – I’m sure since you are from Texas, you know all about the hug panicky hilarity that ensues when the southern states get a sprinkling of winter weather.
Happy Christmas!
even if she does eat her own poo, she is so so so cute!!
LOVED the post script!
I hope this Christmas you can find joy in being in that cabin and writing. As someone in their 20-somethings, I am so jealous of the opportunity you have to do simply that. My days are crowded with driving to work and worrying about all of the tasks and stresses involved in my job, all the while just wanting to rush home to my laptop and do exactly what you are doing. Maybe someday my day won’t be interrupted by 8 hours of being in an office, but for now I guess I have to try and enjoy it while it’s happening.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you, Don. You somehow take the common and make it something to think about and live by. And I appreciate it more than you know. TWITTER MORE!
chrisupton (twitter)
I am so completely glad you are snowed in with your thoughts AND Lucy. I must say that is quite a combo. Strangely enough I had a flashback to Jack Nicholson in The Shining, after reading this post. In Kentucky they call it “cabin fever”. Enjoy…
Your love for Lucy and more importantly her worship of you is an incredible picture! The love of a dog for their master is a beautiful image of how we are called to adore our master! It makes me want long to worship my Jesus… Blessings to your and yours on this wintery Christmas!
merry merry christmas! and thanks for your wisdom and heart. i read blue like jazz last week. you’re amazing. i can’t wait to hang out with you in heaven.
and maybe if god thinks it’s funny or something, i’ll recognize you on the streets or something. be prepared!
…sooo this is a little embarassing to admit, but I recently read and loved the Twilight books…and a big reason was that it was the most unpretentious thing I’ve read in a long time. It was so clear that the writer wrote whatever the heck she felt like (to the tune of about 2500 pages) and boy was it enjoyable! It was like eating a huge slice of cake, or getting a completely impractical present. So those books got me thinking~how many writers write just for themselves (the writer of those books had no plan to publish them when she started)? My guess is very, very few. And that’s not bad–writing is primarily communication–but boy, I bet that Twilight lady loved writing those books. And I envy her that.
these are my EXACT thoughts as of late.
wonderful.
merry christmas, don!
Thanks for that disclaimer. I now no longer feel like I need to be like Lucy.
Well, *I* may not be writing a book while being cooped up in the house, but I *have* memorized the location of every fuzz ball on my floor. That’s about the extent of my mid-thirties motivation.
Here’s to a non-mildewy Portland Christmas.
don,
if she eats her own poop, then don’t let her lick your face!
Don, there’s nothing like a Lab for inspiration! Happy writing. Oh, but don’t expect her to get over that thing where she cries like a long lost lover after you’ve left the house for a few minutes. My lab-mix, Maggie, still does that after three and a half years. She puts her paws on my shoulders and spreads saliva all over me until she is adequately satisfied that I don’t love the outside world more than I love her.
Hey Don!
Way to be different like every other time. No Christmas post this year. But its ok, I guess, because what you wrote today is important enough. It’s the same idea that you presented in Searching For God Knows What that just made me wake up to life. I mean, what is beauty? What is this thing that we go after? Why do we feel like we need to be better than someone else to be valued something? Why is there better or worse? Why can’t we just be? As much as I think of these things, I have failed to live out by them. I lack the courage to rise up and defy society. Maybe because society is so big. Because I may face rejection or ridicule or people may misconstrue my motives for others. Or maybe I won’t know why I’m doing what I’d be doing.
I want to change the world, I want to help the poor, I want to stand up for causes. But it seems that all I can get past is that feeling of pity or of I need to do something but then I end up doing nothing. I do nothing because I’m too lazy or too afraid. And it sucks. I hate being this way. Why do I have to not do something because it might cost me something? I’m afraid of rejection, I’m afraid of hard times, I’m afraid of the unknown and the uncomfortable and don’t know if I have what it takes to rise up and be different. Be who Jesus wants me to be.
Wow. All of that just came out. I wish you a happy christmas, Don. Thank you for being one of my inspirations.
xxx
Oh and check out this blog I have in honor of you. http://unresolvedjazz.vox.com
It’s not that good and I barely update it but I’m trying my best.
heh.
You might as well check out my personal blog as well, http://switchfootprincess.vox.com
take care!
I suspect most of us do good work for the same reason your dog goes poo out side, to make someone happy/proud so they will love us, or for food.
Funny, Just today I posted a pic of our lab in the frigid weather. Our dog is one-year old but still acts like a pup. He’s matured a bit (no longer eating his own poo), but just the other day I pulled a sock from his throat that he was attempting to digest. Yet he is curled up next to me right now, and I love every minute of it.
I wish I had a doggy! Yours is so very cute! That’s pretty gross that she eats her poop…hopefully she’ll grow out of it. Have fun in the snow!
It’s amazing how much we can learn about our own nature by observing out pets…
Thank you for the words. Words are so great sometimes. Keep writing.
Hey Don
Great writing as usual. You are an encouragement to me more frequently than you know, and your writing is lucid, engaging and honest – three qualities rarely seen to coincide.
Thanks for your thoughts. Merry Christmas,
A
Oh come on… you’ve admitted you had long conversations with Emily Dickinson and I talk to the walls all the time. And most of us eat stuff that is far worse for us than poop. Oh… if we could all only be more honest and authentic.
.
Don,
Just in from Chicago until New Year and it looks like home in the snow. Trying to contact you for coffee. Tried through my friends at compassion and brian on your fan site.
I wanted to talk to you about mentoring mentors. My job is executive coaching and leadership training for international business leaders (former youth pastor).
Growing people is my passion so I wanted to brainstorm a little about where we could overlap. I am starting programs in the next year for churches, prisons, teachers, and of course businesses. My network spans the globe so I know I could find some great mentors and support for your programs.
My email is attached to this post.
Thanks.
CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien were both well over 50 before they published their history making master peices.You know, those little known books about Narnia and Middle Earth…THEY inspire me.
What a phenomenal (ly depressing) post! I think you’re getting at something we all need to reflect on. I was having similar thoughts when my company reduced our paychecks to 32 hours and said with a wink, “Now, don’t work more than 32 hours!” I work for two different publishing departments. You think I would want to only work 32 hours? My life would be hell!
So I’m trying to find the human balance between über-diligence (where I snap at people around me that I don’t have time to talk) and slackitude. NT Wright said it well: We’re not computers made of meat. Where is the balance, particularly when you feel you’ve reattached enough participles for the day? Our ancestors lived hard lives, but they knew when they were done plowing their plot or sowing or harvesting. Our informational work never ends.
Thanks for using your gifts to express this. Put some legs on my thoughts.
its amazing how the simplicity of a dog living life can teach a human so much. i enjoy reading your blogs and look forward to the new book. i appreciate the reality that you give to christianity and life in general. merry christmas. in Gods grace
thanks for taking me out of my own snowed-in reverie and reminding me of a dog’s wisdom. or something like that anyway.
and about lucy. you just adopted my dream dog! a chocolate lab puppy picture has adorned my frig for years–one day i will find her.
congratulations!
“I am loved and I am a lover therefore I am successul.”
This a quote from a Mike Bickle teaching on the life of David. He focuses a lot on the idea that David derived his identity not from what he did or who he was in the eyes of man but from who God is and how God sees him. The series is very powerful and encouraging and I would highly recommend it. The quote is taken from the second teaching in the series.
thanks to that snow i am not gonna be able to visit my relatives in anchorage! so enjoy, or don’t enjoy it all you want…i am searching out why i am not supposed to be in alaska. no worries here though.
It’s amazing the things we can learn from out pets! Yours is extra cute!
Btw, I saw this video of drivers in Portland and thought of you… looks like staying in isn’t such a bad idea…!
http://www.neatorama.com/2008/12/22/icy-hill/
you make me smile
ty
You know, eating your poo could prove to be an enlightening experience. It is complete acceptance of all sides of life – the waste along with the nutrients. Not to mention what the decrease in waste could do for the environment. You could be onto something. Unless of course eating poo gives you even runnier poo…then we are just caught in a vicious cycle. But isn’t searching for nirvana worth that? Reinvention could be what the holiday is all about. Jesus was born in a barn, bringing together all of these beautifully messy parts of life, only to offer up a new example of how to live through these contradictions.
cheers!
ps – I am convinced the fact that most of genius’ finished their works before 26 is because they got it done before the frontal lobe developed. The beauty of the twenties is that most of this life chapter is spent with this rational/analytical part of our brain underdeveloped. But what do I know, I am not a neuroscientist and I spend my days like Lucy, though I prefer reciting Milton or Thoreau into blank space.
Thank you for your thoughts. I had a conversation earlier this evening about how we get so caught up in the trivial things of this life that we miss what really matters…
WOW… I just finished your book Blue Like Jazz and it opened up a whole new world to me. I now know that I’m OK and that being a Christian doesn’t have to be so difficult. I feel free.
I love puppies..we have two..what a comfort
Don,
My wife and I have a Lucy. She is a Plott Hound and is extremely loving. She was very needy when we first got her, she is now just glad anytime we are around. She is laying by my feet right now. I love dogs, they are great tools to bringing peace to our souls.
Chad
Apex, NC
No snow here in Charleston, but we’re having our own “Lucy & Me” experience as well:
http://kitpalmer.wordpress.com/2008/11/27/meetgeorgia/
Actually, it more like “Marley & Me”, but that’s a story for another time! Love you musings Don (as always)! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Don & Lucy. I hope and pray that you have a wonderfully blessed Christmas and New Year. You have blessed me greatly with your honest writing.
John
Love hearing about it all, and Portland sounds like a wonderland right now, except for all the actual cold part…
…so my Christmas advice is that the crate (or kennel) is your friend (and Lucy’s!!). People mock us for “putting that dog in that box,” but no one laughs when they see how happy and well-adjusted our (yellow) lab is.
And Alicia Paulson has some really lovely pics of your fair, snowy city this week:
http://rosylittlethings.typepad.com/posie_gets_cozy/2008/12/christmastime-a.html
Since a true celebration of Christmas seems to be quite dead and gone, in the sense that we’ve settled for celebrating the american religion of consumerism, it’s quite alright with me that you wrote a happy winter post instead of the customary sap. Jesus didn’t come so we could sign cheesy christmas cards and send them to all of our friends with perfect family photos inside, eat ourselves into torpid hibernation, or max out our credit cards so we can fill our house and our friend’s houses with more junk.
But that’s a boring rant….besides, what do I know? My frontal lobe isn’t fully developed, apparently. (By the way, thanks, Sae – now I’m suddenly afraid of turning 30. How am I going to even recognize my new rational self??)
But I’ve gotten distracted; I was commenting to say thank you. Lately, I’ve been rethinking a lot of why I do what I do – so encouragement towards purer motives is always welcome. Really, it’s all very simple in the end, despite my efforts to confuse the issue.
Good luck with that sweet Lucy of yours. Sounds like she’s stolen your heart already.
*lifts glass*
Here’s to life lived just for the joy of it!
Don, cute dog. She really is beautiful, and full of energy. I have a Chocolate Lab myself. His name is Gabe and he is 5 so he is beginning to slow down.
Anyway, Merry Christmas.
Your words are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
thank you! these thoughts are very moving and i can’t wait to read the new book
greetings from germany
Don, I’m a bit behind in reading your blog, but just read this today. I inherited an 8 year old Sheltie, Jonah, when my brother moved to England to attend Oxford a little over a year ago. He (Jonah) came to stay with me “for six weeks or so” and we fell in love – I can’t imagine not having him around! He makes me laugh so much, reminds me how important it is to play (somehow I had forgotten that), how healthy long walks are, how much I love morning cuddles, and how great it feels to be missed (he howls like nobody’s business whenever I leave – I can hear him all the way down the block, and when I come home, the first thing I see is his face looking through the window). All this is to say, welcome to the WONDERFUL world of dog lovers. I leave you with a poem I wrote last month:
DEVOTION
How I wish
I loved my God
as my dog
loves his.
Ok I have a Lucy but mine is a beagle/bassett hound mix whose head is orange. I also have a black lab/pitt mix whose name is Starbucks–she’s black, bold and beautiful–though her mother is white, sarcastic and sassy! I think your Lucy is cute and I’m glad you are enjoying the early stages of puppy parenting. Blog all this sweet stuff when Lucy shoes your door, your motorcycle seat, your leahter recliner, your Bible (ate it like Ezekiel did the scrolls!), your devotional–you get the idea. But through it all you will learn as I have that these dogs teach us so much even if we really don’t give a rats ass about how much patience we are lacking–they teach us–like it or not. My dogs are rescue dogs, but not because I’m some dog loving fool who is out to be on the board of directors for the humane society–no I was just trying to be a good single mom to my boys and let them have this dog one of the members of the church I serve had acquired due to someone dumping it out on their farm. So now I’m stuck. But as much as I’m not a dog lover at heart like so many other wonderful people are–they both follow me everywhere. I guess they think I do love them when really I am usually mad at them for something they’ve strown all over the yard…and yet they follow me…oh the hound of heaven…He never lets up.
happy dog trails to you Don!