With all the talk about Blue Like Jazz the movie, I’ve failed to mention a children’s show I’m producing here in Portland. We’ve recorded nine episodes so far and it’s going well.
The show is called Biggles the Bigger Bee. I’m Biggles and each week I put kids from the ages 5 to 7 through various competitions in which they are rewarded based on their ability to find certain products in grocery stores and malls. The coolest thing about the show is it is completely commercial free because in each episode the children are trying to find products that have been pre-determined by our in-house ad agency.
But it’s more than just a commercial, of course. I’m trying to somehow marry consumerism with love. The last episode we recorded, for example, was called “Make Mommy Happy” and it focussed on make-up, romance novels and simple carbohydrates. The kids ran around the mall (think “the amazing race” style) and bought products, using a Capitol One Visa, to a central place in the mall where they prepared gift baskets for their mothers complete with Mary Kay eye-liner, the latest novel from Stephanie Meyer and Toblerone chocolates. The team that won got stung by Biggles which means they win and move on to the next round. They also get a prize assortment of breakfast cereals and a letter from their parents (I read it to them in front of both the winners and losers) about how proud they make their family.
I’d be lying if I said filming this show has been easy. It was warm the day we filmed the Christmas episode. (We filmed it last September, though it won’t air until this coming Christmas) We were working with all these kids and they had to wear sweaters and scarves as we pretended to wait in line for hours outside Best Buy (The episode is called “A Christmas Family Outing.”) Once in the store the kids had to run and grab five different products ranging from a Playstation Three to a DVD of the action movie Bolt (I know, wasn’t out yet, but it will be out before Christmas) and then place them in order based on which gifts indicate their parents love them the most. The group that got the order right (pre-determined by our ad department) got stung by Mr. Biggles. (It’s kind of cute because the kids who get stung get the Biggle-giggles and fall down and get showered by gift cards from various retailers.)
Anyway, the show will air on Fox so check your local listings. More info here.
hahaha. fox.
Ha! You’re a day early Mr. Biggles!!
did any kids say “look at the dick in the bumblebee suit”? jk. i mean april fool’s.
This disturbed me for an entire minute. Then i worried that it was Tuesday night instead of Monday night. then I laughed and cried a little. Nice!
If only…
hahah wow!
ok, that was really funny. I kept thinking “please tell me this is a joke. please tell me this is a joke.”
Lol. Loving the bumblebee costume!!
Ha! Don’t forget your “Make Daddy happy” episode–power tools, ginormous flatscreen TVs (for the football), and simple carbohydrates.
The whole Fox thing should have given it away immediately, but I’m gullible and was totally ready to fly my kids to Portland to be part of your show. I couldn’t think of anything more rewarding than watching my girls fill a basket just for me with Toblerone. But it would also need to include the latest People Style Watch and O the Oprah Magazine.
Even after I knew it was a hoax I still laughed a lot. Great hoax.
oh PHEW… i had fallen out of love you with somewhere in the middle of paragraph 3… no worries, reignited!
I think I just lost some respect. I find it terribly hard to swallow the idea that you are promoting this type of consumption. But I don’t know you at all, so maybe this lines up with your lifestyle? Or maybe you’re just trying to pay your mortgage?
Made me think of Derek Webb’s “Mockingbird” album…the stark contrast found here.
I think you’re a great writer, don’t get me wrong. I guess I (wrongly) assumed that you are stepping off the grid, not advocating for it.
i knew it sounded too good to be true.
Sounds like a cool concept and a great way to get kids to think.
Everyone–put your hands together and welcome Anon to the world of comedy!
April Fools right back at you, Bee Man!
Hahaha! I still like the fact that you have a picture of yourself in a bee hat!
I have to admit, you had me going for a while there. Thank God it’s just April Fool’s Day. This was great.
getting stung lets you know you won? man, I’d be scared to death to win, ha
UH, you’re a day early.
I was like, what the heck? Thank God for the other commenters or I might have been stumped the whole day. Awesome!
meanwhile, all i could think of was, “how does he find the time to do a really weird kids show and take care of a puppy?”
Hahaha. I had a good luahg.
The “biggle-giggles” part was pure genius! And then it got even better with the gift card from various retailers showered on the kids with the biggle giggles. Oh man… Thanks Donald Miller.
this is no joke! i hire children to do this for me. i mean, who has time to actually pick out their own groceries? maybe i should start filming it.
I must be an April Fool. You had me there for a minute. I thought, “‘marry consumerism with love’? this doesn’t sound like the Don I know.”
Then I realized… “I don’t know Don. I’ve never met the guy. Maybe this is the REAL Don. I seem to remember a story about a Home Depot and an extension chord!!”
Good thing I never sent that Tweet about a “Donald Miller Book Burning.”
*breathing easier*
OK, that’s just cheating. It’s only the 31st. And it’s early. How am I supposed to discern a hoax before I’ve even had my coffee?
I think Biggles should make a cameo in the upcoming DM movie- maybe on a tv screen in the background of a shot?
I really shouldn’t feel as embarrassed as I do; if it had been tomorrow, I would have known rite away. Irregardless–I DIED laughing!
Great April fool!… you had me going… for a while!
I must say, I’m disappointed in the lack of preview clips ;0)
Glad to see you are involved in providing quality commercial-free entertainment for kids during your free time. I think a WWJD? edition should be next. I’m sure Justin McRoberts would be glad to help.
greatest part – the 10th comment that still didn’t get it…
Man, I kicked your bumbled butt far away from me. …Cute, as are the comments above.
Don, do you really read all of these comments and reply to them? I’m curious. I’m also looking forward to seeing your bumblebee show.
Just realized my comment made it seem like I didn’t know it was a joke – feel rather foolish now!
I came upon your blog through twitter after you said it was a joke. Hilarious – you should do the show anyway.
you just haven’t fallen in love with the right mystical dayvampire yet.
The Biggles Giggles! That was too much. I’m having an awful week (semester?) and this made me laugh out loud.
Hil-arious!
The funniest thing about this (beside the Biggle-giggles)is the fact that my 2.5 year old son just randomly wore that same outfit to church last night. I just about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw your picture this morning. I posted a picture of him on my blog…the resemblance is un-bee-lievable!
The extreme humor is just WRONG, wrong, I tell you…The half second that I almost believed this was HIGHLY DISTURBING
Happy Ap 1. phew…
PS I hope you didn’t wear that outfit at home. It will give Lucy nightmares! puppyhood trauma.
Good ness. That made me sweat.
I agree with Jennifer H… a preview clip would have been icing on the cake.
Although a mental picture of you running around a mall with black tights and little ballerina slippers is a lasting image I may not be able to erase from my mind for a long time….
See you Friday night!
You’re one clever, FOXy bee.
Hahahaha, that was hilarious!! I figured out it had to be a joke when you mentioned Mary Kay… Silly Don, Mary Kay isn’t sold in any malls
I’m surprised more women didn’t catch that!
But you did have me going! Btw – i agree with everyone who said the biggle-giggles was the best part!
I am SO glad to find this is an April Fool’s joke. I am so easily confused, so you really had me going for awhile till I realized you would never do something this awful and was confirmed by all other commenters– thank God.
Though props on the bee costume, it looks cozy.
story awesome and picture awesome(r).
[...] miller’s hilarious blog post(which confused me, certainly, because he posted it yesterday, but i suspected it was a joke when he [...]
Kept thinking… say it ain’t so Don… Looking for the April Fool to fall. Then I clicked and the relief came. Great spoof!!!
If thought balloons were real, you would’ve seen one with a big “?!?!” above my head until I clicked the link. And then, in a way, I was faintly disappointed this wasn’t real.
Good job, Don.