So I’m still polishing the book, even though the press is, today, receiving their copies for review. The way a book starts is crucial, and I’ve written and rewritten the first few chapters about fifty times. Still, I’d love your opinion about the way this book starts. It’s a slow start, actually. It takes about three chapters. But if you have time, would you mind taking a look at these three chapters and commenting your thoughts. I can seriously polish the thing for the next week or so. THANKS.
Best,
Don
Against my better judgment, I started reading the chapters. I say that because I should be studying for two seminary finals. But I couldn’t stop, even with the pressure I’m feeling to study. But maybe I’m just a procrastinator . . . No, I actually loved reading the chapters. Your style pulls me along and keeps pulling, and it doesn’t stop. My only thought of improvement was the transition after being born in America or in a village in Africa. It seemed too abrupt for a scene break there, but maybe you intended the halt there. And of course others may have thought that spot was perfect. Congratulations on a wonderful first three chapters. I’m looking forward to the rest!
I wish I had lots of helpful edits to share (I’ve got a couple), but I’ll just say I’m looking forward to reading the book in its entirety. Like many others, it’s refreshing to hear from someone who never claims to have all the answers.
I committed the “God and Bob will probably talk for days” and “looked at my hair for an inappropriate amount of time” lines to memory b/c they made me laugh.
And kudos to your mom and the Happy Meal, my word, that’s a great story.
I also enjoyed the story about the library man driving off the bridge (resolution, at last!), but mostly because when I see those guys and their truckload of books I just know (*know*) they’re also thinking, “Who in the honky-tonk is this ‘Lisa Middlename Lastname’ and what in da heck does she need 89 books on Mount Vesuvius for?”
I digress.
Couple things. I had to look up what “The Ugly Mug” was, as it wasn’t clear from the context. As a side note, I’m going to assume you were talking about the coffee shop in Sellwood, which sounds like a fun place to check out the next time I’m in the ‘hood.
Secondly. It didn’t bother *me* that you didn’t introduce the “million miles” line until the third chapter. But the paragraph that it’s tucked into did not leave me with an “aha” kind of moment. I wanted to get to the end of that paragraph and go, “I get it. This book is about _____.”
Oh, and one last rambling thing. If *I* was at the dog park, I’d sit there and make jokes and characterize them and in general, not take the whole dog thing too seriously. But *COUGH COUGH* I have learned that Portlanders are Very Serious about their dogs. Which, of course, makes me want to make fun of them all the more. *evil grin*
I was in a bookstore today, and I saw a book by Quentin Tarrentino, who I had just seen on Larry King, talking about how he cast David Carridine in Kill Bill just because he’d read Carridine’s autobiography.
Then I started wondering if Quentin Tarrentino would find me interesting or not. And I decided that he would, if my life were edited in a certain way. Like, he saw some really good family arguments, or the year I was 24 years old, or my trip to New Zealand…
Anyways, I was thinking some similar thoughts in relation to this book~edited, my life is GREAT. Un-edited, eh. But this book also seems to be saying, start with an outline? Maybe? What’s your take on spontaneity?
Good first three chapters~Very relatable. It is interesting that stuff about having your life made into a movie is so relatable, since that’s an experience not many people have. Good work making that accessible.
Don,
It’s wonderful. Can’t wait to read so much more. Every page I was ease and feeling like I was at a cottage with a coffee cup.
Ps. You’re lucky I like you so much- going and naming your dog after me. No worries.. it’s more of a common dog name than people in my generation- BUT i love it.
-Lucy
Don,
Thanks for posting these chapters. When I finally get to sit down with the book, it seems like it will feel like an old friend or something…
One thing though; wasn’t there a longer author’s note in a previous post? Or am I smoking crack?
I’m pretty sure there was, and I got choked up when I read it because you absolutely nailed the way my friends and I feel in a page and a half. It was beautiful.
My vote is to go with the longer one, if it wasn’t a figment of my imagination after all.
It hurts my heart but I’m trying not to be an ass kisser. Because I love you don and the one thing I want to say is that it blew me away.
It didn’t blow me away but that is because its just the beginning. Or maybe its because when I read your books, I was sitting in an armchair, next to my desk with the lamp on at 5 am in the morning eating Cadburry chocolate. That added to the experience for sure. lol. It’s hard for me to connect with a book while reading it on pdf. Anyways, yeah it didn’t blow me away because I felt that a base wasn’t yet firmly established. It left me thinking what is this book about? I feel like a three chapter introduction is a bit too long and I wanted you to get to the point or at least form a little bit of a path that withing which we could see, “oh I see where he’s taking this”
Or maybe its because I’m tired. But that is how I felt while reading it. Now, if I step away from how I feel and analyze it, it was good. It was nicely told and nicely done, it has your usual humor and your stories and it was good.
I hate doing this. I hate doing this. But that is how I feel. But I think I feel this way because its the beginning. Because you haven’t gotten to the deep, spiritual parts that I loved so much about your previous book and I wasn’t in the right environment. There were some parts that made me chuckle and others where I was like, “That’s so me!” but yeah. It was good though.
I’m looking forward to the rest!!!!!!
I don’t know if I think that way because we live in an ADD society and aren’t able to appreciate long stuff or maybe that only applies to classics. But those were just my honest “feelings” I may be wrong and my feelings may be based off of an immature teenager’s heart. haha.
Joel King covered most of my text tweaks, though I fully get the tuba joke following the flag football mention. (Sure the tubas beat the clarinets in flag football! The tuba section is typically guys — often big guys — and the clarinets are typically girls.) Keep it.
Also, I can buy into the “dogs smoking cirgarettes” bit, because I understand the underlying point. Outrageous things happen in movies on a routine basis. Fantastical things. Dogs are personified, etc. But, you might key on a different example that alludes to something more commonly encountered (unless you intend to merely offer something bizarre that isn’t encoutered in real life, in which case you totally did offer something bizarre).
I listed brief overviews of the vignettes and looked at them in order to see if there was any benefit to a different sequence. But, I concluded I liked it the way you have it.
And I like the way you periodically thread a vignette back to something mentioned earlier. It adds cohesion like a well crafted stand-up routine that builds successively on its jokes.
However, I will suggest that you consider expanding Chapter One. It starts to crescendo, it seems, with the sunset viewing, barefoot Kim, and friends-with-newborn — then it tacks back to the less pleasant memories. This is an important aspect to impart, and the recollections are individually engaging, but they don’t seem collectively on par with the more positive memories.
I’m not the one who can guide you here. I’m only offering that you might want to ponder a bit more on your assessment of the roles of memories and see how you might infuse that introductory chapter with a more enhanced hook.
Don, the first three chapters sound great it made me laugh especially the whole phone conversation with steve. sounds very conversational which is great. your chapters en weird I don’t know how to describe it but that would be my only slight flaw i saw. I hope you elaborate the whole million miles in a thousand years it was interesting but still confusing but its probably your weirdness coming through–which I love by the way. I love your writing because you come off not as a spokesman for God like you mentioned but as a fellow explorer or animal. you are very comfortable with yourself at least on paper. thanks for all your writing they have impacted my life in so many ways. God is definitely blessing your work.
Thanks for making your “somewhat edited” book and heart open to all of us. I can’t imagine doing that. Taking critique well is a skill few have and those that do can turn great into exceptional.
I read these first three chapters like I normally read a book, not looking for errors or thinking how I could give you specific pointers because the truth is, most people will read it that way. It’s your work and heart and they are dying for it.
So, with that said, and maybe I’m just a little antsy and impatient, but I wanted it to get going sooner. Your background context was great and made me feel like we were just chatting away about this project. It set the stage well, but I was ready for the meat a bit sooner.
The comment above about it feeling like something ‘big’ is coming is so true. I loved how you ended chapter 3.
In “Note about the Author” you talk about coming home and putting on a record and thinking about what you saw. Maybe you could say –put on a record/and or CD? for those younger who don’t relate to us older generation’s love affair with records? JMO
Perhaps I’m missing something/perhaps not.
****
However, good read especially the part about dogs.
Don you certainly have been given a gift of crafting images and expressing ideas with your words. I enjoy hearing your random sounding stories. In the third chapter you mentioned that you didn’t want the job as a priest so that you would not have to tell people what to do with their lives. If we, who have spent time with God and our relationship has matured, see people confused or troubled with the direction of their lives, don’t we have truths to offer them? A reason for our hope? A call to all from Him to seek Him, obey Him, love Him, and to follow Him?
I really enjoy how random your writing can be, because life is really like that. One thing reminds us of another time and sometimes we get back to it, or relate two things, that really don’t connect (BUT they do.) I think the start of the book is perfect, because we don’t realize how many times we forget to live and remember and if we do that, what is the point. Definitely can’t wait to read more.
ah… it’s good to get more Miller writing in my hand again. It’s refreshing, it makes me feel not so alone – that inner dialogue that it’s my head somehow makes it on the pages of your book. (and for the record my husband SO would have said “Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups” Thanks again for being transparent. And for the record Blue Like Jazz is not your finest work imo.. Searching for God knows What brought me & hubby to our knees & closer to Jesus. Thank you for your refreshing honesty about religious writers, it challenges me as I read those “must read” books from the greats.
One thing that I found distracting (and the guy can’t help his name), but the guy named Barak, I just kept getting him mixed up with the President and I’m like Donald put Barak in his book, are they that tight?? Barak also does sideline acting in addition to his Presidency? But now that I think about it the President has a “c” in his name, so perhaps it’s not weird for anyone else, but I was distracted by it. You just messed up this Canadian is all I’m saying
Wow. I must admit to reading it hurriedly before going to work (teaching English in a high school) because I couldn’t wait to read it, but I found it fairly well edited and was quite surprised at all the things other people were able to find, and wondered if those mistakes were still there when I read it today. Because I missed them, I was troubled and wanted to think they’d been fixed. I tend to be picky with teens about their writing, and really hate paying money for a book and finding typos in it, but I, in my hurried reading of it, enjoyed it thoroughly without the mistakes leaping out at me (it was early in the morning). In a world which decrees that Christian authors outsmug and outsmarm each other, with verse references torn from their contextual moorings studding the tops of concepts like bits of broken bottle set in concrete, it’s amazingly nice to read someone who’s doing more of the Kurt Vonnegut “showing off by managing to say deep and complicated things with a very few, very simple words and a bit of wry tongue in cheek at the same time” thing going on. Love it. Having a very hard time not being perpetually completely disgusted with pretty much every Christian on the Internet for things like consistent overuse of exclamation points in FaceBook statuses designed to spread the hate around and dis your president. Nice to read something by a Christian and not hate on it.
I didn’t need much after the Author(‘)s Note. And then I didn’t get much (the three chapters, I mean — I’m somewhat confident I will read the book in three sittings or less). I like the idea of having something interesting to say to God, and all this time I’ve been living as if the pressure’s on Him. The dialogue with Steve is a little unbelievable. The dog crap didn’t trip me up so much — it’s interesting to see where you are, where I am in relation to you, think about direction, wonder why — stuff like that. Thanks for the preview.
Unlike some who apologize for seeming like a butt-kisser, I will do exactly that without any remorse. I read a lot, but you are unequivocally my favorite author. Reading your work is like one sided correspondence with a pen pal. Although I have never met you and likely never will your story and way of telling it compels me to better tell my own. I thoroughly enjoyed these three chapters and look forward to the rest. Enough of that though.
A couple notes on what I read:
It’s funny how you mentioned not being able to remember much of life. I can actually remember quite a lot, but my brother only remembers what he can see in family pictures. Memory is a funny thing. I actually heard about a syndrome known as Hyperthymesia a while back in which the person remembers absolutely everything and could instantly recall the temperature and breakfast menu from years ago. Originally it sounds like a blessing but I think forgetfulness is often a blessing from God.
I loved the peanut butter cup bit and wouldn’t change it. It completely fit the scene and fit in well with your writing style.
I never thought that Nietzsche and JT could possibly fit in the same sentence or thought, but I stand corrected. I think that I would count as a depressed 20 something German, but I tend to prefer the scronny depressed Dane, Kierkegaard, to Nietzsche.
Anyways, thanks so much for all your work and sharing it with the public before it’s even fully baked. As a pastor I’m just getting to the point where I’m willing to invite critique of sermons prior to them being preached so I know it’s not easy. Thanks again.
New Donald Miller book, U2 on tour…this is shaping up to be the best year ever. Seriously though, I loved it, and I can’t wait to read the rest. The opening about what scenes you would talk to God about is really thought provoking. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. And I agree with the others, I feel like I am picking up the conversation with an old friend. You’re speaking at my alma mater (ACU) this fall, and I am so sad I can’t be there.
Don, some of the items that other people wanted you to edit were some of the same parts that stood out to me. I laughed out loud at the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups comment! I liked the imagery of the snow covering the industrial area outside the Portland airport and making it appear cleaner and heavenly. I also liked the Boston driver’s comments about maneuvering in the snow. I can hear their endearing snottiness in my mind.
I’m sure some of the edits are extremely helpful, but I don’t expect to pick up one of your books and find it perfect. I expect to pick it up and hear from Don Miller. I like the stories you share with your voice, your imagination and your perspective. Not sure that we readers should try to alter that at all.
There was only one sentence I stumbled on; the girlfriend I had who I’ve always believed was the only one who really loved me… our inloveness started in third grade, not second.
I look forward to the rest of your stories in these million miles.
Chad
[...] You can download a copy of it here and post your feedback on his blog. [...]
I skimmed it quickly this afternoon and found my self laughing, reflecting on my own life and thinking new thoughts about God. Since that’s what my perception is of what you set out to do, I’d have to say “mission accomplished.”
[...] book “A Million Miles And A Thousand Years” is due to come out soon. Don’s has published a draft of the first three chapters on his blog. You can download it at the [...]
I just started it, but noticed that I’m guessing you meant to say “tell God the favorite parts OF her story” in the last paragraph on page 7. Just a general type-o that I’m sure would have been edited anyways.
When you start to talk about Lucy, the name comes in abruptly; you don’t point out Lucy is your dog (it just says “I got a dog,” then “Lucy…”. I only caught on when you first said it because of twitter updates.
People seem to like meaningful thoughts stemming from talk about dogs. Hey, Marley and Me is a bestseller. Sometimes I think that dogs are happy in some of the same ways children are happy, because they live in the moment and are only concerned with what’s in front of them. Maybe Christ could have said, “become like little dogs.”
And maybe people are obsessed with pets and reading about pets because they’re jealous of their carefree existence. Or maybe because they don’t find the same kind of loyalty in their human relationships (because everyone is more concerned about bigger, human-type things.)
It’s been a while since I flew through three chapters this quickly. It’s a great read, and it reminds me why I enjoy your books so much. The insight you made in the Author’s Note was a nice touch and set up for where the book seems to be heading. Looking forward to reading the rest of it!
Something in it rings of C.S. Lewis The Great Divorce. The naming of the book brought that allegory to mind anyways. The snowy day in the gray city of Portland at the airport. There being a journey (A Million Miles in A Thousand Years) and facing the reality of oneself (real Don being inspired by movie Don). Maybe I’m off base. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.
Don, Something has been prompting me to read your blog for a few days and finally today I got to it. I read these 3 chapters and I have to tell you I’m struggling because while I trust it’s honest I don’t believe you. Of course this is just the first three chapters and maybe by the end I will but here’s what doesn’t add up for me. You are an incredibly insightful man and the simplicity with which you express yourself belies this. I wonder at times if perhaps you are hiding behind your God given wisdom and inisght because you’re somewhat afraid to share it. (Of course most prophetic voices are often considered crazy and that sometimes stifles a person.) So while I want to trust that you are just as confused as the next guy I don’t buy it and I hate that because I’ve read all of your books and I guess for me as one of your readers I want to see that you’ve made some progress before I take the plunge and read the rest. Afterall, isnt’ that why I would want to read the book so that maybe I’d find something I could connect to that might get me somewhere? Of course I’ll read the book because you wrote it but I don’t think that’s what you’re hoping for. All that said, Donald Miller it’s just as bad to not have a healthy ego as it is to be egotistical. (All this is said with sincerity and in a nice sisterly way because I’m nice and while I try to pretend not to be I am – darn it!)
I don’t think the first three chapters are slow at all. I found them entertaining and contained some thought-stimulating content. Some parts made me laugh, too.
“…drinks juices from fruits.”
Side note… why am I blocked from following you on Twitter? Do you not allow people to follow you, or have I been singled out? If the latter, I feel somewhat important to be singled out by Don Miller
Well I don’t have the expertise to be critical nor the intention. Here for no particular reason (other than you asked) are my thoughts.
Chapter 1
I would change this phrase:
“Sometimes I’m tempted to believe life doesn’t mean anything at all. I’ve read philosophers who say meaningful experiences are purely subjective, and I understand why they believe that, because you can’t prove life and love and death are anything more than random happenings.”
Into something like this phrase:
Sometimes I’m tempted to believe life doesn’t mean anything at all. I’ve read philosophers who say meaningful experiences are purely subjective. I understand why they believe that. Because you can’t prove that life and love and death are anything more than random happenings.
Chapter 2
Perfect as far as I can see. Made me laugh out loud on several occasions.
Chapter 3
This phrase made me think of a Zen story that I am fond of, you can find it here: http://www-usr.rider.edu/~suler/zenstory/more.html
“People have to write the story, which can take years, then raise a bunch of money, hire some actors, get a caterer so everybody can eat, rent a million miles of extension cords, shoot the thing, and then it usually goes straight to DVD. It’s a crap job. It made me glad I wrote books, to be honest.”
This one due to self reference reminded me of another great non-fiction work, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metamagical_Themas
“I wondered whether the experience would be like taking a picture of yourself in front of a mirror taking a picture of yourself in front of a mirror.”
I think we must be a lot alike. I’ve read three of your books, and Blue Like Jazz at least three times. Except I’m well over 50. Grew up in the south without a father, Los Angeles on the north side, North Hollywood. Well that’s south of Portland anyway. Can’t wait to read the rest.
Cheers,
rusty
Oh yeah, I think a human training guide for dogs is an excellent idea, run with it. And may all your Frisbees be fun.
I agree with Jeff D – I feel like we’ve just entered back into a conversation; flashing thoughts and random ideas that really do relate to each other and odd moments while one catches up in understanding to the other person, over dinner and lots of gesticulating.
The dog analogy – reminds me of some writings from Elisabeth Elliot about how a starfish glorifies God just by being a starfish. And how as humans, we don’t know how to just be humans. Part of that is we’re so hung up on timing. I walk around the campus I work at and see squirrels every day. They are often running off, trying to avoid me. But they stop mid run and a back leg comes up, scratch scratch scratch, in a furiously fast wheeling motion. Now, no human I know will stop in the middle of running for his life to scratch! It just breaks up the drama too much! But they don’t care. Talk about no memory!
I love that you talk about Lucy. I am always learning from animals or observing things like this. So it’s nice when other people see more about humans and life and God through animals.
That is another thing – I appreciate that you share that you don’t have a spectacular memory; yet you mainly write memoirs! It gives me hope. Maybe God allows us to remember enough to pull the main strands of our story out and show them to each other.
The drowning stories idea is brilliant. It reminds me of the Jasper Fforde Thursday Next series, where stories are real, and each character is alive in an alternate world of the written word.
Alas, I unfortunately didn’t get the peanut butter cups joke. Darn. Now I feel so uncool.
I loved the first 3 chapters and can’t wait to enjoy the rest. It would be especially fun if we could keep up the conversation over dinner the whole time I was reading, so I could throw out “hey, this reminds me of…” and “ooh, I like that!” or “whoa, guys really do think differently than women do; yuck!”, and you could tell me how your editor made you do it. Happy writing (which I think is a contradiction in terms)!
Saw this quote today by Thoreau, and thought of this most recent project of yours -”How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not yet stood up to live.” Thanks for both living AND writing!
Love the feel of these chapters. Feels like I’m in a coffee shop talking to a real person who has insightful things to say and poetic connections to make, but at times scratches their nose and gulps awkwardly. Bottom line is, it has character.
Someone else commented about the Mars Hill talk you gave a while back, and I can see that this book is going in the same direction from all your blog posts about it. As an aspiring filmmaker myself, I’m tingling with anticipation for the finished product.
As for the form and content of these first three chapters – spot on. I’d say those revisions did you well, and you seem to be on track. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve read your other books, and from what I’ve read, am looking forward to this one.
I really identified with this:
“I feel like I am supposed to do something interesting with my life. I don’t mean I’m supposed to entertain people, although sometimes I identify with that. I’m talking about a sense that life has the basic ingredients for a meaningful experience
and I’m supposed to put things together so the meaning happens.”
Wow! How many times has that same thought run through my mind!!
And like the line about being poems coming out of the mud. Terrific image!
Also, in a bit of contradiction, I like how you always seem to jump from one idea to the next, sort of random, but with something that ties the vignettes together, but I did find it a bit abrubt/jumpy in the part about your friend from LA, Lucy, and The Ugly Mug. It was as if each part needed more…
But, like I said, I always identify/relate to your stories and thoughts and will be eagerly awaiting publication of this one!
God’s Peace,
Melinda
today at b&n they had a new limited edition of blue like jazz… with the first three chapters of a million miles in a thousand years… ;o)
I tried reading all the posts before posting this, but I only got to 53. So if I’m repeating anyone from 54 to 80whatever, I apologize.
At least I’m not telling you how to use spell check or fragment (consider revising) with the infamous green squiggly lines underneath.
I’m big on openings and closings – how something’s set up, and how it’s brought home. Granted, it’s only three chapters, so the end wasn’t really the end end. But it annoyed me a bit that you stressed so greatly in the first three sentences the fact that we forget so much detail in our lives… only to introduce the concept of the entire book (seemingly, at least at this point) by explaining so much in vivid detail.
“I got back into the truck and pulled out from under the overhang, and the snow
blew softly against the window and melted. The sky was gray-blue, and the weather on
the mountains made them look taller. With the city covered in snow, I felt like I was
arriving along with my guests. I felt like we were about to explore my same old places in
a way that might make them feel new.”
Let’s be honest, Don… You wrote a memoir… You remember details.
Ditch the cub scout story. The point you’re trying to make is that we don’t remember absolutely EVERYTHING, not that we’re stupid and don’t remember ANYTHING.
With the cub scout story, it sounds like you’re trying to convince the reader that Bob’s theory on remembering every tiny little detail is vital and something that God would say “well done” to. I’m guessing that in one way or another, you eventually explain the importance of the bigger picture.
Explaining a bigger picture in detail is not the same thing as detailing every square inch separately.
I don’t recall the guy from “Memento” being very happy, anyway.
I could go on, but I won’t rant… You write the books – I love reading them.
Ethan
(the guy who says he wonders if Bob has any other symptoms of OCD?)
thanks so much for your comments, i really appreciate it. based on your feedback, i am going to go back and look closely at chapter two, to consider losing it. often, when you can let a chapter go and not really miss it, you should. and plenty of other comments have helped as well.
i’d love to not really need affirmation, but the truth is i do. it helps keep the fire going in the stove, so to speak. and closing out a book, the last edits, make a book come in to focus, at least the way i write them. very encouraged by so many of your comments.
back to work!
Don,
I love the progression in ch 1 of nature –> romance –> babies/life.
I’m not sure how I feel about you taking our ch 2. I hear what the others above me have said, but I think there is good stuff in it. The idea at the end that we try so hard to FIND our purpose that we never actually accomplish anything and we miss out on it entirely. I realize you are in a time crunch but I wouldn’t rule it out just yet.
Thanks for doing what you do. I am so drawn to your style of writing. It is thought-provoking and relatable. I have been blessed by you.
Prayers and blessings on you as you finish–can’t wait for the rest.
**** and when I say :
I’m not sure how I feel about you taking OUR ch 2.
you probably figured out that i mean OUT
Don,
I always feel so awkward commenting on these things. That said…
I downloaded this several days ago but I wanted to wait for the perfect moment to read it. This morning I came into work, made a cup of tea, and read it though twice. Thankfully, the phone stopped ringing and no one came through my door so I was left to feel like you were sitting on the other side of my desk with your own cuppa tea just chatting. It felt like you’d been away for a long time and you’d just came in from the airport and your clothes smell like Somewhere Else and you’re about to tell me wonderful stories. I love a good story.
I think the thing I like most about your writing is I can tell how much you have grown as a person. Static characters are no good and the most boring movies are the ones where you feel like nothing happened, like no one changed. I feel like that’s not the case with you. It seems that you have taken an active role in your story. That you refused to let life keep happening to you and you decided to live. That’s beautiful.
I’m a receptionist at a church but I dream about the English countryside and the beaches of Australia and I feel like by the time we finish our conversation, I will be sitting on the other side of the desk, smelling like strange and far off places, my eyes sparkling with a million stories to tell.
Thank you.
-Lydia
About six pages in, I started realizing that I couldn’t remember any of the words on the first two pages and yet the ideas from them are even now floating around in my thoughts. I really enjoy when you surprise me with description and randomness. I loved, “growing into the forest like tree moss” and then you comparing it to loving the girl more than tree moss in the next paragraph.
“Where the crap is Miller taking me this time,” I kept finding myself asking, but at the same time I love the journey, just as I have with all your other books (although I haven’t yet read TO OWN A DRAGON).
I saw one place that wasn’t Miller like the rest of the Miller I read. It’s where you talk about running away. The story itself is great and paints a good picture with the exception of the first line. (“I ran as far as the field across the
street where I hid in the tall grass.”) Everybody runs away to the field across the street and this is how they always describe it. In fact, I think I ran away to a field that was across the street but it only had short grass. This is how I would write it and I’m a really sucky writer. (Not saying you are; by no means! I’m just saying I look to your writing to be the standard of amazing writing. Okay, this criticism is getting awkward and I’m about to take my two labs and flee the dog park.) Might I suggest that you say you ran away, far away, and found a field of tall grass where you could hide. Then, point out that you could still see your house from there. Maybe it was the closest thing to the field or something? Let me, the reader, make the connection that it was next door.
I hope this helps and I especially hope that if I ever get the chance to meet you and tell you my name, you don’t say, “You’re that jerk that called me a sucky writer.” And I say, “No! I was trying to say that I am the sucky writer, not you.” And then we stand there for two minutes in an awkward silence that I can’t help but think about the entire drive home.
Don –
I think you and Lydia should go out.
Betsy
It’s your book but I got a lot out of Chapter Two. The parts about finding our way as humans really hit home to me. It helped me give some context to this internal tension that I’ve had for the last year as I am trying to find my way. The dog analogy really hit home. I guess I’m not reading so much into every word. I don’t know but throwing it up to 100 junior editors may not be the best idea. I mean it’s sort of cool and courageous I guess. But I would really go with your gut. There is a reason you have written four great books and we havent. God has given you a gift. Trust the gift. Be confident in the gift. Do what you do. We will read it and be blessed.
Keep chapter 2. As an actor/improv guy, i really identify with it. It does feel a bit loose in terms of where it’s going, but I think it still contributes to the overall flavor/sense of these three chapters. I like them all because there’s a sense of expectation, like we’re going somewhere, but not sure where.
[These are 3/4 chapters that I've read of yours (the other one being an excerpt at Christianity Today's site).] To me, your style comes across as multi-layered but not muddy. Like a good wine, soundtrack, or photoshop file. And I thought it flowed fine. All the jokes made sense to me. Only one suggestion, echoing an above-mentioned concern about the “puny loser” phrase. I flinched mentally-emotionally. It’s critical without being explanatory, contrary to the rest of the excerpt and maybe not your intention. Are there two or more other words that would qualify your opinion? Overall, reading your chapters has been relaxing, comfortable, enjoyable. You’re good, and I can see why many people value and appreciate your work.
Bonus item. Andy Farkas’s artist statement, which you might enjoy:
i follow a dog chasing some invisible bird.
my work is prayer.
it longs to be humble.
it makes visible my essence and desire,
makes clear my failure and my joy.
it dreams of hope and whispered wisdoms.
it seeks truth.
my goal is to overtake the dog
and make visible the invisible bird.
If you like that, there’s more from Andy at http://www.mnbookarts.org/theshop/featuredhmmm.html
I was fortunate enough to be sitting in the audience during your recent session with Generous Giving in Scottsdale, AZ. At the time, I had been in a funk for several months with life in general. Very stressed and worried about all sorts of things. I am a small business owner and am 35 months away from our company being debt free. It started out as an 8 year note. The fact that we were slightly less than 3 years away from paying it off was a testament to God’s continued and never ending grace. However, I was still stressed and worried that God would not see it through to the end. As if He were going to say, “I’ve brought you this far, now you are on your own!” Then you stood up and talked about a guy who worked for (3) years to pay off his volvo. Not inspiring…not interesting….definitely not why we were given a place on this earth. As I listened to you talk about story, my eyes were being opened again to what God has in store for us. I don’t know the details or the exact timing, but I know He wants to use us. If I will only be available to Him and then ultimately obedient, He will write the best story. A story I cannot possibly imagine or know to ask for… Your words were some of the most powerful I have heard. It didn’t hit me between the eyes, it pierced my heart. Know that The Lord has given you a powerful testimony. Don’t sweat all the exact details. The power is in the Creator of the story. I know you know this, but you didn’t create this concept. Trust Him to see you through and complete this in a way that will transform people’s lives. Mine was from hearing you in Scottsdale. Thank you for being available and obedient to Him. It is a wonderful and powerful place to be. God Bless you Don Miller.
Hi Donald,
I don’t know if you were intending to do this, but the first three chapters of your book, I think, are a modern day re-telling of the book of Ecclesiastes.
My own personal reflection on what you said in these chapters is this:
The story of life is a series of tragedies filled with meaningless, though sometimes temporarily enjoyable, events in between to keep us occupied.
As usual, your book is funny, captivating, and enjoyable read.
I only got one comment.
“except maybe the beauty of the landscape and the complexity of my body tell me I am here for a reason”
Does that have to be in there, exactly like that? Because I am going to buy this book and show it to all my stubbornly atheistic scientist friends (I’ve got a bunch), and I’m going to have to admit, this is where they are going to stop reading.
I’m looking forward to reading the rest, and: the only good thing about getting rid of the second chapter, I think, is that I’ll have read it already. =)
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