So I’m still polishing the book, even though the press is, today, receiving their copies for review. The way a book starts is crucial, and I’ve written and rewritten the first few chapters about fifty times. Still, I’d love your opinion about the way this book starts. It’s a slow start, actually. It takes about three chapters. But if you have time, would you mind taking a look at these three chapters and commenting your thoughts. I can seriously polish the thing for the next week or so. THANKS.
Best,
Don
I loved the humor. I thought it came across with great timing. I also really enjoy your display of scenery. I think this is why is still enjoy “Through Painted” best. Lastly, I loved (and still do for that matter) the Neitczche humor. Spot on. Can’t wait for the rest.
You don’t need affirmation Don!
You’re already amazing! lol 
But yeah, I’m glad you find our feedback helpful but know that we still love what you do and we believe you are very talented. And hey, we’re still buying your book right? That’s because we trust you! 
And even if this one bombed, I would still believe in you and keep buying your books. You wont lose us fans that easily. 
You’re awesome.
I think chapter two should stand. The conversation between you and Barak suggests that, underneath it all, we’re all searching for meaning. That scene helps the book become our story and not just yours.
You’re always so open when you write; it’s kind of like I’m sitting right next to you- as if we’re sitting at a local starbucks and you’ve had a little more coffee than I. For an instant we’re not gravitated toward the world- and you make the world feel like it’s yours to captivate. You capture moments and thoughts in life that seem unimportant in reality but hold truth on paper. Almost as if what becomes stale in our memories- you can bring fresh on paper. I can’t wait to see where the rest of the book flows in. I love the bookcover- I can’t wait to see a million miles into your thoughts!
puny loser felt like a cheap shot, but I did smile.
good Ratatouille reference.
other favorites:
“elaborate buttons” and “juices from fruits.”
—
In the end of chapter three, I think you mention the glass overhang once and then again with the snow. And the first reference to the snow in the industrial district feels repeated with the marvelous snow at the end of the chapter. The last paragraph could be better. Could you re-explain the feeling of picking up the guys? How it made you see Portland from an outsider’s eyes…
Looking forward to reading the rest – so far, this is what grabbed me the most
“As a writer of nonfiction I’m supposed to know what life is about, but to be
honest, I don’t. I write books about faith, which only makes the job harder. When you
write books about faith, people read them and expect to hear from God, as though God
calls me on the phone in the morning and says, Write this down; I forgot to say this in the
Bible. I know writers who actually approach their books this way, but none of them has
given God my phone number.”
And I wished this ‘hook’ or one like it was placed a little earlier in the text.
I am so furious, that I read that… Now I have to wait for the rest of it. I feel like you’re writing my story… Tuba player? Awesome..
I echo a lot of the other comments, actually- the second chapter is a bit off-kilter for me, and the beginning of the conversation with the film directors is okay, but I also echo the comments that say that I love it so far, can’t wait to read more, and am incredibly excited to see you picking up with this book- it does feel a lot like the conversation just picked up where it left off
There are so many little sentences I love- the description of drivers in Portland in the snow made me laugh out loud (I moved to Seattle from the Midwest, so I totally am one of those people!)… the scene at the hospital with the newborn (I’m typing this one-handed with our week old child in my arms)… and the mention of seeing a taste of God in a topless girl- I had similar feelings of amazement at God’s creation on seeing my first nekkid guy- much like looking at newborn baby feet 
Anyway, it is lovely and I am aching to read the rest (and now have a strange desire to start filling Moleskines with random memories of my own!).
You seem to be pulling the layers off and coming more out of hiding. It feels more raw, more exposed, more to the point. It moves quicker. It feels like your thoughts are moving faster, more concise, truly more action-packed. I know that is the point of your book and life now, and I think you are capturing it. Less about crafting for looks and more about mining for the truth. Thanks for being brave enough to get it out there and even braver for opening it up to feedback!
Devoured it brother. Great job.
I believe that you have all the giftedness required to finish off your edits strong and impact people’s lives by your masterful telling of stories.
Keep on rock’in it.
Joe
Your writing brings me back to a place, throwing my thoughts into a framework of ideas that I often shy away from…making the daunting, accessible. Accessible is good. Your voice welcomes people to join, to allow themselves to sit in the “you-ness” and perhaps find a little of “their-ness.”
On chapter two : a few thoughts ran thoughts : animals do indeed demonstrate so much about our own humanity, yet, there are some people that don’t enjoy the whole dog thing…so I think some of the reactions could be by people that have a harder time entering into the animal kingdom in general. I wouldn’t worry, keep it and let the Lucy stay.
I feel like all the kernels of insight, nostalgia and hilarity are hot and you lead us into the microwave at the moment when everything starts popping.
I know that the popcorn will be delicious and buttery and there is a sense that this is the ‘proper’ sequel to BLJ, the follow up album.
It seems like you have definitely ‘upped your game’ through sheer force of will, and as a result the flow is intriguing (if not exactly organic).
The earlier chapter you posted on the blog about the ‘crossings’ showed serious chops, and a leaner muscled, prose. It seemed to have a rhythmic sense of timing and restraint.
This feels like it could be your best work yet.
It’s funny how many people feel that you are expressing “what they would say”.
I think that they are attracted to that rare alchemical gift of transforming seemingly mundane moments into piercingly sweet and painful reflections.
your strength lies in disarming the reader through humour and honesty.
-Andrew
.
ps. The Reese’s joke is great.
pps. What Anne Lamott was to you, you are to me. I hope we can meet someday because my girlfriend said that I was ‘just as good if not a better’ writer than you
i believe your girlfriend, andrew. keep in touch. and keep writing.
thanks for writing – seriously, your stories, well written and interesting and funny – bring me some serious joy and i love sharing them with people who haven’t, yet, been introduced to you!
i like your books – have no useful things to say but wanted to share that!
Don:
Good stuff. I like the description of the snowfall at PDX. And I am so thankful that God doesn’t require us to go around sniffing each other’s brown eye as a way of introducing ourselves, altho, I did have an acting coach at OSU who did.
How fun to get to read and respond something before it goes to bounded print! Thank you for being brave and open in this way.
I don’t think that the Sellwood truck of book story works, although others (Rowan, Stretch Mark Mama and TinaB) would disagree. The potential Shel Silverstein cover now makes sense, but I feel that the illustration misses the mark, in the way that you remember the wrong keys that got played in an otherwise lovely set.
I really like the idea books are full of contradictions. (Are our personal stories of God ever full of contradictions?) But I honestly wouldn’t grieve the loss of the novels in the Willamette. There are thousands of copies of the same book and they can be recreated, reprinted. I think that the sense of loss that you wanted to describe is when you read about how great ancient libraries were destroyed by raiders or when every single copy of a book was burned in the public square. Those would be the words that are lost forever.
And I feel the same sense of tragedy when I hear that someone’s house has burned down. I often wonder if they lost every family photograph or if they were prudent to have stored negatives or digital images offsite. For images hold so many memories and stories that are never written down. Once image and source are destroyed, they can not be recreated, reprinted.
That being said, I am looking forward to reading the rest. I think that this work is going to strike a nerve. And if you can forgive another cliché, since I’m struggling to describe it in another way, when your writing is the most naked, it sounds like a sweet gong, whose vibrations are not just heard, but felt.
It’s “imperfect”. I would call it perfect but I think your imperfection is what captivates so many readers. As with all of your books, I immediately identified with it. I wouldn’t change a thing. I was so enthralled with what’s to come that I couldn’t focus on grammar or anything else. Guess I’d never make it as an editor. The Reese Cup joke is awesome – true Don Miller humor and I caught it right away. Thanks for continuing to deliver hope and humor. Can’t wait for the rest!!!
I’m kind of weirded out to be honest. First of all, it kind of is a goal of mine to have a Volvo, albeit a sleek sexy Volvo convertible. So right off the bat it’s hard not to feel as if you’re writing to me, directly, which is crazy because you do not to my knowledge know who I am nor should you. The chapters themselves make me feel like your target audience was me and only me, which is flattering, but it might hurt your sales numbers because I can only buy so many copies.
I agree with what Doug said… I wouldn’t change a thing. I read it at work, but after reading all the comments and suggestions I thought that maybe I’d missed something so I took it home and read it again and still think it works. I liked Ch. 2, but if you were to send me the entire manuscript I could give you a more educated opinion on whether or not it is necessary to the book. Seriously, I promise not to tell anyone how it ends or anything.
I didn’t even realize the Reese’s Cup part was a joke, that’s how my wife and I communicate early in the morning.
This has made me that much more excited for the book! It read so quickly, flowed so well. I feel like your observations are those that we all have, the running commentary in our heads, but you flesh them out and make them part of the ongoing attempts to make sense of the world. Thanks for sharing! My biggest disappointment is that it is released while I am studying abroad…
This is just going to be more of what the others said. I loved it…gulped it down and wished I had the rest. Tilted my head thinking several times and laughed out loud at least 3 times. That’s an average of once a chapter which i would say is pretty perfect. Love the journey you always take me on and the way you get me to think about life with more intentionality.
I thought it slowed down a bit too…but not at the dog part. I loved that part. Probably because I love my dog. It was from Nietzsche to the drowning stories that felt out of place for me. Loved that part, but felt that it was that part that broke the flow a little for me. I think it’s probably just what connects for one, doesn’t connect for another. Yeah, and I got the Reese’s PB cup joke…
Anyway, can’t wait to grab my copy and enjoy.
Don,
So much of what you write is so random and off the chain in respect to everything else I read. I love the “Peanuts” style of relating to things like the Happy Meal story. I feel like I can hear your voice inflections in the words because you write like you talk, which is very entertaining. Like everyone else, I can’t wait for the copy to appear at my bookstore. I so enjoy your work..keep it coming..
I know other people have mentioned it, but I would have to agree that the story about Lucy and the people at the Ugly Mug isn’t coherent with the rest of the Improv chapter. In fact, the two stories themselves don’t make sense together, to me.
It’s a relief to know that I am not the only one who feels at fault when there’s a lack of conversation with someone new. I always wonder whether I should make up stories to tell the other person, just so they think I am way more interesting than what I really am. Honestly, I get the impression (when meeting new people) that I am such a dud. I never know what to say.
Also, I can see where people wouldn’t get the Reese’s bit… It took me a few minutes.
Overall, I can definitely say I am looking forward to another great read. Your other books (especially ‘Through Painted Deserts’) inspired an overwhelming sense of wanderlust and a yearning to see the country in all it’s naked splendor. If only I had an old VW.
I’m excited to see what else you can inspire.
I’m sure by now this book is probably headed to print and I’m behind (as I usually am) in putting my 2 cents in…but I wanted to say that you had me at the Author’s Note.
I’ll be doing my part to stimulate your economy by buying the book when I see it in the store.
I’m very happy I read this. I feel like this book will give you even more readers and fans Don…very beautiful…I honestly was not looking forward to your new book either-I’d gotten to this point (probably because I re-read your other books TOO much)-where I didnt’ think I would buy ‘Million Miles’I just thought this book wasn’t going to be as fresh or new as your other writings-but I was dead wrong. Thanks for all you do! Your hard work is a blessing to me!
Don –
I’m clearly a little late in my thoughts here, but I’d like to shout them out anyway. I like to hear (see) myself talk (type).
- Please, please don’t take out chapter 2. Move it, maybe, if you must, but please don’t take it out. I identified with and enjoyed more content in that chapter than in the whole of Cat’s Cradle or Still Life with Woodpecker.
- I’m going to sound like I’m contradicting myself here, but one thing I noticed is that the first three chapter feel a little…down. It’s not so much that you sound fatalistic, as you described yourself, but that you sound like you’re unsure if you even want to have the philosophical/spiritual/religious discourse with the reader that your book is quite obviously initiating. I felt like you were almost asking me, “Well, I don’t mind talking about this with you, but…are you sure you want to? I’d just as soon not, but if you want to keep reading, I guess that’s fine, too.” Don’t get me wrong – this sense wasn’t overpowering at all…it’s just a very minimal undercurrent that I had to sit and think a long time about, to even figure out what it was. But it’s there, and it distracted me from the rest of what was going on.
- I enjoyed your ruminations about sitting with God and talking for hours or days about the stories of your life. I like to think of Him in that way, as well. I particularly appreciated the emphasis on whether or not we’d have a good story to tell – it reminds me of what Jesus says about the good trees bearing good fruits…
Hello,
You are a wonderful writer. I can’t wait to buy the book. Thank you for the stories, the honesty and hospitality of your writing. And the thing about depressed Germans. That was hilarious.
This may be too late now, but I did want to comment on one little thing. The last line of the first chapter sort of landed funny on me; I think it was because compared to the wonderful free sincerity of the rest of it, it felt kind of like it was contrived, like you were just thinking of a clever way to end the chapter.
So, first of all, of course you have something interesting to say; you’re a writer for heaven’s sake! You say interesting things all the time.
Second, one of the things I love most about God is that God doesn’t want me to be interesting. God just wants me to be there. Other people are always wanting me to be interesting. It’s nice not to have that burden with God. I know God will listen without evaluating. And I would love it if God would tell me what it all means sometime.
So, I know you don’t know me at all, and I hope my forthrightness isn’t insulting. But I just wanted to say this, because that one sentence seems so out of kilter with the rest of it.
I can’t wait to get the book. The chapter titles are wonderful. I am eager to see what you have for us next. And you are very brave to put this out there at this early stage. Thank you!
So glad the tour is on its way! I do hope you end up somewhere in the upper midwest region (Minneapolis, for instance?). Also, after reading my previous post a second time, it does seem too harsh coming from someone who hasn’t published several bestsellers. So forgive me if you actually did read it and were offended! It was just my barely edited first impression. I am eagerly awaiting the finished version of this book. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
I hear the voice of Douglas Coupland…a good voice to hear. The narrator is floating over and living through the moments of life. Good stuff.
I love how you begin all your books just being honest. It’s such a break from the normal introductions of religious books that are essentially novels full of the author’s personal stories.
If I’m not mistaken, your first chapters are usually longer than this one? I thought it didn’t necessarily need to be split up into three parts. But I felt like you were just talking to me and telling me whatever came to your mind, which is the way I talk
I think the intro does a great job of giving us food for thought which you will talk about in more detail later in the book. Can’t wait to read it!
Stephen
P.S. I am an aspiring writer, and in everything I write, I try to be honest with people and give them a different point of view. Your books have been a help to me in my walk of faith and a refreshing experience to read. My study group is actually going to use Open Table soon. Hope to meet you someday in Heaven if not on earth.
I didn’t want it to end. It’s a story that could be mine. And I think that’s why we buy your books. At least, that’s why I do.
I haven’t read the previous comments but I’m sure it’s already been expressed… it’s sheer genius that you described Nietzsche as the Justin Timberlake of depressed Germans
I’m probably not your usual reader, I’m a fifty year old high school teacher in Hood River that has been trying to remember his story. The smell of wet concrete can still take me back to being an overweight missionary kid in Colombia. Very much looking foreward to the whole book. Thank you
Don:
So I have to tell you this story and I’m not sure how. Perhaps I could scour the internet for a secret website that has your secret email. But, I think I’ll place it on this random blog post in the context of a random quote. If you read it, it must be providence!
I’ve been a fan for years. In 2001 I graduated college and was presented with two job offers – one in NC [my home] and another in New Jersey. The latter was more enticing but the thought of moving to NJ was mortifying! As I was praying through the decision, I began to read your second/technically first book ‘Through Painted Deserts’. [I know, if I were a true fan I would have read 'Prayer and the art of volkswagen maintenance']
As I turned those first pages, God began to speak to me and He told me I had to leave home so He could take me and my soon-to-be wife on an adventure that would bond us together with Holy Spirit glue.
So we went. And it was beautiful, and fun, and traffic-y.
While we were in NJ, we had the opportunity to attend a creative arts conference where you were speaking – I was thrilled.
One afternoon, in between work shops, my wife wanted to visit an art exhibit. I decided to wait in a small adjacent foyer and enjoy a apple. One minute into my apple, you walked into the same small foyer and you stood there – I suppose waiting for someone too.
I began to speak, but then I realized that you had no clue who I was. I had read all your books and your conversational writing style had fooled my subconsciousness into thinking we were old friends.
So instead of speaking, I propped my leg up on the wall behind me like an awkward cowboy and slowly ate my apple while staring at you.
I was sure I was turn up in a later book as ‘the awkward guy who ate an apple and stared at me’. Maybe you would use me as an analogy regarding Jesus and the church, how I didn’t engage?
All that to say, thanks for being a faithful and willing tool the Lord is using to bless folks like me.
I know your request for feedback was a month ago, but I couldn’t resist commenting. I’m telling you my experience (not technical anything). Oh my God. I’m almost crying because of how there with you I feel. That’s amazing. You tell the story like the reader is right there beside you experiencing it too. I feel it and I got a few pointers from you. Movies do seem to re-set the compass, what with the archetypal underlay and all. Thank you Don for choosing to share your gift of writing and being. I can hardly wait to read it when it comes out:)