I visit my Facebook page about once a month. I used to use it all the time, but now I don’t. I think they changed their format or something, and I didn’t bother figuring out how to click around. I’m thinking of getting rid of it all together because it’s just another way for me to annoy people. By that I mean it’s just another way for me to not return e-mails, or for that matter pithy comments on my wall. At one point last year I had more than five-hundred unopened messages. Not unreturned, but actually unopened. I’ve gotten that down to around 120 these days, but it’s still hard for me to make a personal connection via e-mail. I’m horrible about that stuff. But it’s scary. How will I know about important social causes? Facebook is the new Economist, you know. I like Twitter and it truly is how I keep tabs on my friends, but Facebook has become a hindrance. So, in seeking resolve, I fired some questions at my friend Anne Jackson, who deleted her facebook account several months ago and has never looked back. If you happen to be contemplating such things too, perhaps her perspective might help you push the button with me:
Don: Why’d you delete your Facebook account?
Anne: The one sentence that sums it up is that I lost my innocence in it. Of course when people hear that, they take it out of context and think that means I was hooking up with former lovers or something. Oh, drama seekers…t’wasn’t the case. The purpose of Facebook is to connect with friends, but I saw the potential in it as an author to use (ahem: abuse) it as a marketing platform. I accepted every “friend” request and made sure that my blog and twitter feeds were hooked up through it so I’d never
actually have to interact with anyone. It became about me talking about myself and not engaging in conversations…and realistically, it’s difficult to have a conversation with 3000 “friends” at once.
Don: What annoyed you about Facebook?
Anne: The fact I couldn’t turn off the inbox was pretty annoying because I never really checked it. I had posted on the front of my page that if someone needed to contact me, they could email me, but people still would message me on Facebook.
Don: So is this universal, are we all supposed to delete our Facebook accounts?
Anne: I shall not cast judgment on those who keep their Facebook accounts. I think there is tremendous opportunity to connect, engage and network responsibly through it.
Don: What do you miss about it?
Anne: Because Facebook is probably the most commonly used social media site, I find myself missing invitations to events and hearing about old friends
having babies because sometimes, that’s the only place people post that kind of information. And I’ll admit that I especially miss exploring what a decade of life has done to the people I went to school with. 
Don: Without Facebook, how do you know what Jane Austen character you are most like? And how do you know what Jane Austen character most of your friends are like?
Anne: Fortunately, I’m secure enough in myself and my Jane Austen knowledge to know I’m easily Catherine Morland. Preacher’s kid. Tomboy. Daydreamer? However, I do feel badly for leaving all my Ninja friends behind. Please forgive me.
So there you go. Hope that helps you press the button. I shall be deleting mine soon. Anne Jackson is the author of the forthcoming book Permission to Speak Freely. You can learn more about Anne here. And no, I have never read anything by Jane Austen.
Amen and amen.
I deactivated mine a little over a month ago.
I am forgotten from time to time, but, then again, I can’t be held responsible for that of which I am not properly informed.
Dear Nicole,please help me deactivate my facebook.
I hate it. It’s got all of my information,friends and it is worthless.
Boy did I mess up.
Please help !
Richard
[...] . 31 . 09 Donald Miller said it’s okay that I deleted my facebook account. In fact, he’s gonna do it, too. [...]
[...] freely admits he’s close to shutting down his Facebook account) sat down with Ms. Jackson and interviewed her for a little more insight on her [...]
I occasionally go through my friends list and “unfriend” people who aren’t really in my life anymore. I think it can be a great way to connect with those in your life, but I find I need to keep the friends list fairly low. You know, when I first got out of high school, I added everyone I recognized because they were “there”, but now I’m 2 years out so I only have the 6 or 7 that I still want to make an effort to keep in touch with. And recently I moved to a new city, so I suspect that in a few months I’ll need to go through again. There’s people who are more of acquaintances in my life who I still enjoy sharing fb with, but those people seem to sometimes just fade out. Food for the thought.
Not that many people like me so I don’t worry about facebook. I use it but nobody talks to me. Now I am going to go whimper in the corner.
I would love to sit next to a wide range of people – family, classmates, and members of churches we started and attended. 2 churches are defunct so it’s impossible to go back for a visit.
I have friends and family scattered all over the planet. FB allows me to stay in touch on my terms, once or twice a week. I can hide updates that offend. I don’t hide much because the new list feature makes it easy to organize their updates. I also choose whose messages come via SMS. All without going to different blogs or online photo galleries, or stuffing an overloaded feedreader with things I don’t have time to view.
FB also allows me to share my news, such as my son’s game photos, with current friends and those who may find me in the future. It also let’s me post comments on niece’s and nephews’ walls immediately after outstanding achievements.
I will at least post a notice of my site launch. My brother and nephew show their blog posts on FB; I probably will, too. But I don’t plan to link to my personal FB page on my new website. I’ll use the fan page.
Don, during last week’s simulcast Beth Moore said she uses FB and Twitter. I bet nearly 95,000 women looked for her. I’m sure she’s there, but “dark”. On FB she has probably customized her visibility to only her friends.
To hide on FB, on your Privacy Settings page:
Click on profile
For any of 9 categories, choose:
“customize” from the dropdown list
unselect “everyone on facebook”
choose “only friends”
choose “none of your networks”.
Then no one but your current 4,620 friends, or whoever you keep, should find your page again. It will be up to you to find who you want to add.
And before you ditch FB entirely, you might read http://www.wired.com/techbiz/it/magazine/17-07/ff_facebookwall?currentPage=all. Zuckerberg wants to put a friendlier face on the web, and let me see how friends or my network rate doctors, for instance. He’s been underestimated before.
Don,
I missed something. From the privacy settings page you also click on Search Privacy settings, to be invisible to anyone who searches for your name.
I deleted my Facebook account and figure that another application like Google Wave might take it’s place. I have missed some of the photos and updates from old class “friends” but haven’t missed enough to start again. At least now it is easier to permanently delete your account rather than suspend it.
Thanks for the post!
Finally – other people who are as tired of FB as I am come out of the woodwork. Or something.
I feel like I am the only one who is just overwhelmed by FB’s constant demands for attention. I just don’t have the time, regardless of what my privacy settings are. That’s the nice thing about Twitter – it’s simple and doesn’t demand anything of you. Nobody’s going to get mad if you miss a 140-character tweet, but I get a lot of flak for not responding to the hundreds of inbox messages I don’t pay attention to on FB.
Do it! push the button!
It’s neat to read about someone else who pulled the plug on Facebook. I did so this past January after having had an account for nearly four years. The changes Facebook had gone through (making it public, etc.) failed to impress me, and all the new applications were annoying. To top it off, I was spending way too much time doing absolutely nothing on the site and not enjoying it at all (something I will take the blame for). Like your friend Anne, I do miss “being in the loop” about friends and people from high school and college, and about events that are happening, but I guess I just got to the point where I felt that if someone really wanted me to attend an event, or wanted to sit down and have a conversation, they would actually take the time to contact me in person, and I felt that I should offer them the same courtesy. To be honest, I did go through Facebook withdraws (because it was something I interacted with daily), but after about two weeks, the “longing” (lol) went away and now when I hear about Facebook, I just cringe and rejoice that I’m no longer one of the millions of Facebook minions!
i dont know why i read this .. haha. I’m not experiencing the dilemma myself but it was funny. I just wanted everyone to know.haha
How much you miss…
by not reading Jane Austen that is. GOOD STUFF!
Anne Jackson is now on facebook…just sayin’
No wonder that Zuckerberg kid is a billionaire. Even the “anti” can’t stay away for one reason or another.
Just thought I would make note of it…for no apparent reason other than it made me giggle when I saw her post.
[...] Blog post from Donald Miller if you need some resolve. [...]