As you set out to live a great story in 2010, remember to create memorable scenes.
In movies and in novels alike, you’ll notice writers tend to place characters in visually (or imaginatively) stunning scenes. When we were working on the screenplay for Blue Like Jazz, I’d often recommend our characters talk about something over coffee or in a dorm room, and Steve and Ben (the other two principle writers) would shake their heads to say no. Scenes in coffee shops are boring. Movies should be memorable, visual, exciting and different. Now I see it in movies all the time. Writers place characters on top of buildings, in beautiful parks, on busses that bend like an accordions in the middle and so on. Anything to make the scene more memorable, and thus the dialogue more meaningful.
The same principle is true in life. Many of the scenes in your life you remember best were the times you jumped off bridges or smoked a pipe on the roof. Once when some friends and I were embarking on a long paddle in British Columbia, some friends at the camp we were leaving put on giant animal costumes (think mascott size) and jumped off the top deck of a huge boat in order to say goodbye. That was years ago, but I will never forget the waving bear and raccoon suddenly stepping off the railing and falling into the frigid water. That was certainly a memorable scene.
Even Steve, Ben and I created a memorable scene. We were in Portland for a writing session and it was snowing heavily. We took a break and tied a rope to the back of my truck, got in kayaks and pulled each other around the streets of my neighborhood (Be careful with this one. Somebody was killed that same day being pulled in a sled behind a truck).
Sometimes a writer will sit for an hour or so, just thinking of a creative setting in which to place a conversation. It’s important work, that sitting and thinking, because the scene will engage the viewer or reader much better. And it’s important work in life, too. Here are some tips on creating memorable scenes:
1. Say yes to awkwardness: Is your buddy a mortician? Ask him if you can take him to lunch in exchange for a tour of his funeral home. I did this once. Talk about a memorable scene. I’ll spare you the details, but it was a sobering and quirky and beautiful experience.
2. Take the conversation to a different place: Are your buddy’s coming over for your weekly prayer meeting? Are you normally bored during your weekly prayer meeting? Is there a water-tower near by? You figure out the rest. I once led a small group and one week canceled the whole thing just to hike up Mt. Tabor to watch sunset. I think we got more out of that meeting than we would have sitting around staring at our navels and sharing our uneducated opinions about Romans.
I always liked that scene in The Dead Poets Society where Professor Keating takes the class outside, puts a record on a turntable and has them kick red balls into a field while shouting lines of poetry from slips of paper. Professor Keating new the power of a memorable scene.
3. Don’t be embarrassed: I have a little red wagon at my place that I use to bring stuff up from the garage. A great memory I have is of pulling an old girlfriend down to the market and through the isles to get groceries. I’m not saying we should be dopes and cause scenes, but caring too much about what people think is a sure way to live a boring story. (It also helps to live in Portland, where it’s not uncommon to see grown adults inside the baskets of shopping carts dressed as cats playing guitars while being pushed by gnomes through the organic produce section.)
4. Don’t be afraid to get wet, cold, dirty or hot: Maybe my favorite memory from 2009 was up at Chatterbox Falls in British Columbia. Some friends and I had gone up to the falls and were standing only ten or so feet away, getting soaked by it’s cold spray. My friend Richard Goff then led us back behind the falls, where the air was so cold and the wind was so strong it was hard to breathe. I reached my hand into the waterfall and the force of it pushed my hand down. And then my friend Dusty Brown literally stepped his entire body into the massive fall and stumbled straight through. Of course the rest of us followed, once we were sure he had survived! So whether it’s getting wet, getting cold, getting hot or just getting dirty, you can always wash your clothes and take a shower later. Go for it!
The idea is to create scenes this year you’ll remember for the rest of your life, and to invite others into the thrill of being alive. I often think of it as worship in the sense that God created this beautiful expanse as an exposition within which to live remarkable stories, and it’s our job to match the story to the expanse, to make use of it, to fill it with memorable scenes.
Thanks, I actually just finished the book like twenty minutes ago. Then i became a stalker and book marked your blog and signed up for twitter to subscribe to yours. Can you tell i really appreciate what you have to say?
Great post. It has me thinking, albeit it has me thinking in the generally boring setting of my office.
I am LOVING your breakdown of the story concept this new year. It was wonderful fodder for dinner conversation last night.
Thanks Don!
[...] Anyway, I have found myself considering resolutions a bit differently after reading a recent entry in Don Miller’s blog. Don approaches the idea of resolutions from the perspective of living a good story, and I found his thoughts helpful. Maybe you’ll feel the same. Part one is here, and part two is here. [...]
Great ideas … thanks!
With running/biking/kayaking, I’ve been discovering #4 – it does create fun/memories/etc.
And sometimes I think that I think better and am more creative during the times my physical body is moving and/or being pushed outside its comfort zone.
Love your books and hearing you speak at STORY Chicago.
Just thinking about that Dead Poets Society scene makes me want to watch it again. “Carpe Diem! Seize the days, boys…make your lives extraordinary…”
Chatterbox Falls is a beautiful location. I spent a summer working at the Young Life camp Malibu, right near there, and it was definitely a memorable summer.
Love the idea of creating memorable scenes, and pondering what some of them will be for the coming year.
” I often think of it as worship in the sense that God created this beautiful expanse as an exposition within which to live remarkable stories, and it’s our job to match the story to the expanse, to make use of it, to fill it with memorable scenes.”
That is beautiful! Thank you for the encouragement. I think this is going to be a great year! Hope it is for you too!
Thanks for the practical suggestions, Don. I enjoyed the book. Keep thinking about it as I plan and prepare for the year ahead. In fact I wrote about the connection between your book and my decision to jump in the ocean January 1. You can check it out here: aaronphaneuf.wordpress.com Much blessing to you, Don, as 2010 unfolds. Peace.
I love your book! As a dad and a pastor, I really appreciate this post. The scenery definitely contributes to the power of the memories being made. I wonder if that’s because God speaks through our surroundings, and when we’re out of the normal surroundings, we listen better. It’s like He has a better chance of joining in the fun. Thank you for the suggestions you give on how to make ordinary life extraordinary.
fantastic. i love it. love it!
I sold a heap of stuff I never use and bought myself a mountain bike after about 7 years of talking about it.
First day out on the hills with 2 great friends it snowed like crazy… it was stinging my face and it hurt, but it felt great to know the adventure was beginning.
Thanks for the reminder Don. And that was definitely a memorable scene in Dead Poets Society, so memorable it got the students to create one of their own: standing on their desks, saluting their prof.
I think unintentionally I spent my childhood being shuttled around from one story to another, as my parents lived this concept out daily as missionaries.
Now, I am faced daily with this choice and I am continually amazed at the twists and turns our lives will take and stories it will tell, when we simply make ourselves available… and stop fearing awkwardness… it’s simply a fact of a well lived life!
Reading this made me realize that my favorite parts of 2009 were the times I listened to that silly, illogical little voice in my head that said “why not try this?” Most of the time, everyone around me thought I was crazy. But if I had listened to them, I would have missed out on having The Daylights for Easter, visiting another blogger in Oklahoma and trying out for a TV show. So I guess I have fun when I say yes to different places, awkwardness & embarrassment.
Wait. The family from MILLION MILES who jumped in the water had on animal costumes? How did I miss that?!
Was just recently introduced to Donald Miller books. Bought and read two in one week, including the most recent one, and have been recommending to friends. So….I was delighted to find the DM blog, and want to share this with friends too, but I’m – no doubt naively – disappointed. Does every blog (okay, I’ve only read your two recent ones) need to promote your book in the last paragraph? Seriously. I want to suggest the blog to friends, but doesn’t that “plug” minimize and commercialize the content? Believe me…you don’t need the book plug in every posting. Your books are awesome and do/will sell well without…
Not expecting it to change, but thanks for listening. This is written in the “continual improvement” vein, and not at all meant to criticize the great stuff you’re doing. And btw, thanks for the great reads and the truths therein. A Million Miles in a Thousand Years inspired me deeply…
In 2009 resigned from my job – something of an “exodus” experience and started planning an “around the States” bicycle pilgrimage for 2010. Then read a Million Miles and was both affirmed and encouraged to live a better story. Thanks!
i have a pretty sweet memory of road tripping across america in a big bus with a fashion forward smart ass tour manager, a pretty blonde actress, and a writer type who liked to snack on his own… nevermind. but a highlight of my year for sure.
My story is 7 years old and is asleep in the other room. I was once an 18 yr old girl, I had grown up in church but was TERRIFIED of God. I met an amazing man, he was all of the things that I didn’t know a man could be…patient, gentle, affectionate. (I thought that people could either be Christians OR emotionally healthy, but not both.) We dated for 5 years and then got married. We were married for 5 years when we decided to start a family. Ten months later my daughter was born. Six days after that my husband told me that he wanted a divorce. Beyond brokenhearted and desperate I turned towards God, willing to try and trust Him. God has used every painful, scary and overwhelming circumstance these past 7 years to teach me about His heart and His character. Life changing truths that I was (and still am) desperate to know and live out of.
In the day in day out trenches of life, the thought of living a good story doesn’t motivate me or shape how I spend my time. Most days I feel as if I am just trying to keep my head above water, and I honestly don’t have the time or energy to care if I am living a good story or not. What does motivate me is love, not my love for Him, but His love for me. Trusting in His great love for me is what keeps me willing to believe that my story matters…that I matter.
Thanks for sharing your story… I can’t stop talking about your book – Million Miles in a Thousand Years – it’s pinging around in my consciousness.
Peace. Susan
So Don, you just pegged me in pages 177-179 of your book. Specifically: It’s like when you live a story: The first part happens fast. You throw yourself into the narrative, and you’re finally out in the water; the shore is pushing off behind you and the trees are getting smaller. The distant shore doesn’t seem so far, and you can feel the resolution coming, the feeling of getting out of your boat and walking the distant beach. You think the thing is going to happen fast, that you’ll paddle for a bit and arrive on the other side by lunch. But the truth is, it isn’t going to be over soon.
The reward you get from a story is always less than you thought it would be, and the work is harder than you imagined. The point of a story is never about the ending, remember. It’s about your character getting molded in the hard work of the middle. At some point, the shore behind you stops getting smaller, and you paddle and wonder why the same strokes that used to move you now only rock the boat. You got the wife, but you don’t know if you like her anymore and you’ve only been married five years . . .
The shore you left is just as distant, and there is no going back; there is only the decision to paddle in place or stop, slide out of the hatch, and sink into the sea. Maybe there’s another story at the bottom of the sea. Maybe you don’t have to be this story anymore.
. . .
I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.
(179).
So what do you do if you want to get out in the middle? What if you know that there is a better story staying on the boat, but you don’t think you’re strong enough to do it? Especially when there is a theiving force telling you that there is a more exciting story on another boat? What do you do, honestly?
I want to be pulled around in a wagon!
Thanks for even more inspiration! That scene from Garden State is one of the best ever!
I wish I could have met you when you were in Houston for the holidays… maybe one day.
I try to think of ways to make memorable scenes each day, sometimes it’s hard to convince friends to tag along.
P.S. I love Garden State
This illustrates the importance of not sitting on my butt and waiting for God to do something but the fact that He has opened up the world as His canvas for me to live memorable scenes.
Janie, you keep footing one foot in front of the other as the Holy One lights your path. Sometimes it is hard to see the beam, but it will come. Today is my 62nd birthday. The past year has been unlike any other in those years: we moved to a different state, have entirely different climate, I am unemployed, we now live in the same community with some of our family after many years of pursuing success in one way or another — including “doing” for God. It has been my first year of being, and I am still waiting for God to reveal what is next. But I discovered stories right outside my window. This is a 4-season state, and in the fall the colors left me breathless. I realized that they will again next fall — but every leaf will be different, changed, newly born — and preparing the trees for their quiet time in the snow.
I was moved to find and watch the movie Michael — and God taught me through that goofy character that it is good to just worship and be thankful for the joys of creation, and occasionally take on the thrill of a new battle.
SAY YES TO AWKWARDNESS!!!!!!
man, that made my life.
Today I went to the chiropracter. The young assistant apologized that she was going to squirt cold oil on my back. I laughed and told her that was OK, it made me feel alive. She said I was the first person to laugh about cold oil. God gave me senses to feel, to hear, to see , to smell, to taste…
In regard to email, have you ever watched Merlin Mann’s infamous “Inbox Zero” talk to Google? It changed how I approach the beast, but we still have a love-hate relationship. Last month I finally declared bankruptcy on nearly 7,000 emails and that has helped significantly. As I’ve worked to change habits, I have realized that I share fewer stories with such clutter and I have missed many opportunities to edify.
Your story helped me begin to honor mine. Thanks!
Your blog is my new favorite. I gave you props today on my blog. I know you are busy, but if you want check it out. The post is called…”It’s Miller Time.”
Hey man,
Great post! Your views on life being a story to be lived and how each day is like a book–they have really affected the way I look at life and enjoy every moment of it!
Thanks for the thoughts and keep’m coming!
Don – thank you for sharing your thoughts on Story. I read the book last week and am truly inspired to live a better story and to create a better story for my daughter (and others around me) to be a part of.
As if you don’t have enough mail, etc. to read, I wrote blogged about it. You can check it out if you have time.
http://murphyfamilylife.blogspot.com/2010/01/reading-and-resolutions.html
I’ve loved reading this post and your last one. It’s really inspired me. I’ve decided that instead of the boring old “getting healthy” resolution, I’m going to try to do one race/month (5k or whatever) with friends. There are countless other stories I’ve developed for the year, but that was the first.
Also, I love Stranger than Fiction. I noticed the first pic you used here was from that movie. A lot of people don’t know about that movie but it doesn’t surprise me that you do. Being a lover of good story and all.
Love it! God bless!
Don, your books and blogs truly inspire me and help me live a better life. I blog myself and had been thinking that my post were not as meaningful as they could be since it was mainly about my outdoor adventure and now I realize that those post are my story and more meaningful than I thought. check it out wvkid.blogspot.com
The only way so far I have picked awkwardness was going to the gym’s outside pool, that’s heated, and taking the plunge when it was 40′s outside. I wanted to prove nothing terrible would happen. Three years ago I risked the cold water at Barton Springs in Austin. I certainly remember every time I’ve dipped into it’s frigid 68′s water. I like the idea, too, of expanding spheres, because if I do scary things all at once, it’s just not going to happen. That waterfall thing, yeah, I’m far far that one. But you’ll have a new theme next year and it won’t matter if I haven’t done something like that yet. On a more serious note, I read your eulogy to my parents. Not only were they moved to tears even after not knowing the guy, my dad was eager to help out the girls. So, in the matter of minutes, needs were being met thru you, me, and my parents. Isn’t that cool? When I don’t achieve certain goals, I then remember things like this and know these are the things we are really meant to do.
You have inspired a generation Don – my dear friend Nicola took a break from school and is teaching English to monks in Thailand – she writes about it here (feeling unworthy to have used your book as inspiration for her blog) – I know she would make you proud:
http://betterthanvolvos.blogspot.com/2010/01/creating-story.html
[...] Living a Meaningful Story, Pt. 2: Creating Memorable Scenes [...]
It’s always irked me in a very small way when people posted their own blogs, not sure why. My latest post is heavily influenced by one of your chapters from Blue Like Jazz though, and I wanted to give you a chance to read it, so I guess I’m just going to have to deal with it. Haha.
http://www.amphumanityproject.blogspot.com
I’m reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and if I didn’t have to get up at 4am every morning, I’d stay up and read more. I enjoy the book. Keep up the good work and I wish I can do what you do. Wow that sounded like a young school girl.
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
i work at a Christian camp in central Idaho where “the mountains themselves call us into greater story”. every year i am privileged to work with high school and college kids who create those memorable scenes for campers like Megan. this New Years during our staff reunion i asked the staff to some of those memorable scenes. there is very rarely an ordinary scene at camp, so it was challenging for them to pick just one. what struck me was that each one involved another person…and an unseen character in each scene they described…the Spirit. i am grateful to be a small part of making those scenes possible. thank you for opening my eyes to them again.
this resonates in my soul…the tension of living big but not making it all about me is nudging me joyfully to telling a story
where the triumphs of others become not just more important than my triumphs but they become my triumphs
If you haven’t watched The Brothers Bloom yet, you’re going to want to… fits in with your whole Life as a Story arc. The whole thing is slightly fabulous.
-Lydia
[...] 14, 2010 · Leave a Comment Related to my last post, see also these two blog posts from Don Miller on creating a story for oneself, rather than just a list of New Years Resolutions [...]
[...] a similar one himself highlighting how you can live a better story in 2010. Check it out here at http://donmilleris.com/2010/01/05/living-a-meaningful-story-pt-2-creating-memorable-scenes/ Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)God StoryJohnny and JosephIs Ignorance Really [...]
[...] 25, 2010 by wordsbreakthesilence Donald Miller provides the type of perspective that I try to approach life [...]
[...] Creating Memories! Jump to Comments Read it here!! [...]
Wow …. ‘love this blog …. makes me think ….. I’ve got to go out on the limb a little more often and create real memorable moments. Thanks for this Don. You are so right …
[...] remembered back, it’s been within the frame of a specific moment or scene as discussed here. Dr. Plaster was not a man who’s influence was from afar but rather very near and consistant [...]
Hydroponics?seeking to complete a small hydroponics garden for my first grader and i cant locate a store to invest in the mediums or even the fertilizer can somebody please assist… I don’t would like to purchase online or guess actually i cant lol no credit card.I’m preparing on making use of an ebb and flow program with tomato plants