Filed Under: Satire Seriously
Are people who get irritated about public cell-phone use actually the selfish ones?
I think so.
I love using my cell phone in public. I come from Texas so I talk loud. I especially like talking to my doctor about sensitive medical information, spots where I have rashes and that sort of thing. We all have rashes. We all have to talk to our doctors on our cell phones. And sometimes those conversations happen inside of crowded elevators. We are human beings, for crying out loud.
But I keep hearing about these people who are irritated with people like me. They think it’s rude. But here are some things I’d like these people to remember:
- The person I am talking to on the phone is a person, too. It’s not like I’m talking into a Dictaphone. And people matter.
- What you are actually saying when you get irritated because I am on the phone is that you are more important than the person I am talking to and I think that is selfish. I don’t even know you. You are just a person trying to take a nap at an old-folks home.
- Cut it with the passive aggressive crap, too. It irritates me to be talking on the phone to my doctor and have everybody in the restaurant looking over at me like I’m offensive. If it offends you, come over, make a hand signal for my business card, take my card and text me your request. I will get back to you when I am off the phone.
- Understand that face-to-face communication is difficult. How am I supposed to read all your distracting facial expressions and how am I supposed to concentrate when your hands are flailing around like hoses in a kid’s play sprinkler?
What do you think? Are there other things that these really rude people who get irritated with people who talk on cell phones need to understand? Feel free to comment. I may print out the best comments on a sheet of paper so I can hand them to the flight attendant when she yells whatever she always yells at me as they back the plane away from the gate. It’s infuriating!
Don, you think you had a problem with a rash? Check out poor Tim Hawkins’ favorite Bible verse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZBw2-WJN5U
I only find it it annoying when my boyfriend is on his phone when were alone together!
It is so nice for someone to finally put my sentiments into words. I have often wondered if I got off of the phone & started talking to the irritated person would that irritate them??? Who decided the elevator etiquette??? Why is it any ruder (word??) to talk on a cell phone in a public place than to carry on a conversation with the person next to you?? If I don’t care about discussing my sensitive medical issues where you can hear them, why should it bother you?
Thanks Donald! As you can see I have been keeping this irritant bottled up for awhile!
Yeah,and those “No talking on cell phones while ordering” signs are an infringement on my right to almost free speech (my phone was free, my AT&T plan isn’t). Who do Starbucks think they are? Of course I’m going to apologize to the person on the phone when I finish ordering! Why would I apologize to the barista standing in front of me or the people in line behind me? Can’t they see this rash?
Yes, I find those people annoying. A particular instance comes to mind when my mother in law had just arrived home from the hospital after her heart attack. She sent me to town with money for a birthday gift. I couldn’t find the exact item, so I called her and we discussed the alternatives. A lady looked over at me and very loudly, and very rudely told me I needed to hang up the phone because I was being rude to the store. I politely (as I could) told her that lady, this is Target, on a weekday, in a small town. The only one in earshot is you, and you have the capability to walk away. I told her I could explain myself, but that I didn’t have to, and the only rude one was her.
She walked away, and less than thirty seconds later….her phone rang.
I don’t necessarily find people talking on the phone in public a problem… I do think it’s rude, because frankly, nobody else is asking to hear about your rash. Some people are offended by such intimate details of your life.
I do find it extremely offensive when I’m at work (I’m a barista) trying to do my job and ask all the questions necessary to make the customers drink right, and they are on the phone and not even acknowledging me. This to me sends the message that to them, you are merely a fixture meant to serve them their coffee, not an actual human being.
So yes, cell phones in public can be very offensive… But if you are polite enough to get off the phone when dealing directly with people and being discreet and quiet while on the phone, I think it’s fine.
Agreed… I, too, worked in customer service for a time and it is indeed very frustrating when you’re trying to do your job and serve your customer and they have attention only for the person on the phone.
Dang it, Don. You had me worried. I saw the “Satire Seriously” prelude, but couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same Donald Miller I’ve been reading and loving! I actually felt a bit bummed that you were extolling the virtues of possible rudeness. Guess I should remember that anyone with friends such as Thad Thatcher and William Wonka will ALWAYS have a playful and inventive streak in them. (Which is good.) Thanks for keeping us on our toes.
Donna
I don’t think I was fully able to appreciate this issue until I started working as a Barista at a drive-thru Starbucks. I try to have a genuine personal connection with my customers (in the one-to-two minute window that I have with them). If a person is on their phone, basically they’re saying that they do not consider you worth that one minute window of their time. Which I can’t say is a good or a bad thing. From a practical stand-point, I’d say 50% of the people who come back saying their drinks were messed up were on their cellphone, and weren’t paying attention when we repeated their drink back to them.
It’s funny, I was actually “shushed” for the first time today by a guy on his cellphone. I usually am not irked by cellphone users, but I think he got under my skin a bit. I was trying to get my job done, and it was the middle of a rush.
What would your response be to a person at another table at a restaurant who was simply having a loud conversation with another person, or someone who was in the ordering line at a fast food place, at the register doing the same?
I’d also say that your blog wreaks of self-entitlement. And you call all people who get irritated with public cellphone use rude. Bad day?
Haha, I should have read the category listing.
I’m only irritated at the LOUD conversation. Haven’t people realized that a cell’s microphone is very sensitive and can clearly pick up a whisper? Social Skills 101 dictate that you match the noise level of the crowd you’re in.
Well I draw the line at cell phone use in public bathrooms. I know, how selfish of me, but I honestly don’t want people who don’t know me to hear me pee!
I had a really great time at the zoo today. Took my wife and 3 kids. At one point, we got separated. Me with one kid and my wife with the other two. I called her on my cell phone and we were soon reunited.
Is this where I go to confess?
Yes and no. I suppose it depends on what you’re doing. If you are in line and there are others waiting behind you, I think it’s common courtesy to save your phone call for later so you’re not holding up the line. I feel like it’s rude to the person waiting on you. If you’re too busy to give someone your full attention, time to hang up
Since there have already been 2 barista comments I thought mine might be a little superfluous, but I have a bit of a different perspective. In the lobby if someone is on a cell phone I attempt to make eye contact with them, but if they are too engrossed in conversation to notice me than I just go to the next person. I even instruct the register person to skip them if we haven’t gotten their order yet… I don’t want to be rude to whomever they are on the phone with, but the people behind them in line shouldn’t have to wait for them either. It doesn’t bother me that they are on the phone. However, if the person on their phone is in the drive-thru it is pretty impossible for me to just go to the next person. My current solution is to keep asking questions (assuming that “just a second” was directed toward the person on the phone and not me) and hopefully I will spur some amount of consideration of all the other people waiting. If they are on their phone when they get to the window I just pretend they aren’t. I still have a bunch of questions to ask and a bunch of people behind you to care about, sorry if I interrupt the conversation. All-in-all, it should be just fine to be on your phone in public if you can multitask, and if you can’t you might just have to wait a little longer.
[...] Do You Find People Annoyed by Cell Phone Users Annoying? [...]
I don’t own a cellphone (gasp) so I am not saying this out of self interest. I never understood people getting annoyed by someone using a phone in a restaurant. If they were talking to a friend across the table I’d be able to hear that too.
If you don’t like people talking on cell phones, then move to some place where people don’t have cell phones, like the Iraq or South Africa and such as.
We all use cell phones in public places, doing so with a little respect for others within earshot is always nice… I was buying some Tylenol when one of those megaphone types got in line behind me, I wanted to turn around and yell “welcome to Moe’s” — but that wouldn’t have helped my headache
I understand what you’re saying. Like most other things, I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
I like the point you made about the person you are talking to on the phone being a person too.
However, I also work at a coffee shop. I think if you worked in retail, you might experience the whole thing differently. It IS extremely hard to help someone who is on the phone, and therefore get to all the other people behind them. I also find it offensive when I ask someone how they’re doing and I get a finger held at me to hold on or to be quiet. lol
People in America are busy. Especially the west coast. Going from place to place to place getting things done, running errands…everybody on their way to somewhere else. Some people try to be on the phone and get everything done, and lets face it, sometimes we are not as good at multi-tasking as we think. I’m frustrated because I want to do my job well. I want to help the customer get what they need, but I need them to help me help them. Communicate with me! Communicate well and I can get you whatever you need. Set you up for your meeting, or ask someone to make your drink on the fly cause you happen to be running late. I want to experience some fulfillment in my job too! lol, is that wrong? More often, you cannot get the details to help the people throughout the day so you experience more blame. From co-workers or even the customer. The fact of the matter, (and I live in Vegas where the city’s economy is #2 worst in America right now) is that there are many average blue class workers just operating with high stress levels. All the businesses they work for downsizing, and those left will jobs, while thankful, are expected and really forced to operate at their highest and hardest. Less people, taking on more work, still expected to meet the sales goals and health standards…its really a mess.
Lastly I just want to mention, that I think there is something sad happening when there is a restuarant half-full with people on their cell phones. Or a coffee shop, or even sometimes a house party. I realize this is a direction I cannot really stop our culture from going, but I do think that when you are on your cell phone, the people around you tend to feel very lonely. Our communities friendly conversations are shrinking. Our minds are living on the phone chip instead of in the restaurant, where you might have striked up a conversation with your waiter, or noticed yourself bumping into someone you passed on the way to your table, to say “excuse me” and “good day!” All the words you give to your good manners and good moods are going to someone who’s not even where you are at, so you can look them in the eye, and pass it on to someone who is working a 10-hour busing shift in a smile or a “thank you”. Lets face it, sometimes I get off the phone, and I’m tired. And even as you or I may be aware that there are many people around us or on the other side of our phones who matter, there are many who are not. Their cell phones are not helping them. Not helping them meet new people or make new friends or accept people that are different than them. They are keeping us in our own little communities we choose to have and give our time to.
Somer,
I hear you. But this piece was satire. It wasn’t to be taken seriously. I do not defend people who use cell phones loudly. The whole section entitled “satire seriously” is fiction…
Being upset about people talking on their cell phones or texting in a restaurant is completely absurd. Think about it. Every restaurant is full of talking people. So what’s the problem with someone talking to a person on the phone instead of talking to a person sitting next to them??? Actually, talking on a cell is more courteous because you can only hear one side of the conversation. And if your problem is about someone talking toi loudly, then the issue is with the volume, not the act of talking. But talking too loudly is not limited to those talking on cell phones. And people complaining about texting is almost too laughable to even address. I’d rather someone text than click and clang their silverware and glassware, etc. People need to reprioritize what’s important in life. And to use some common sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtdpJlZ07u4
I know where I stand on this issue…