Today I’ll launch a three-part series about the movie Toy Story 3. Yes, the movie was that good.
It’s rare a story comes along in which the elements are as perfectly clear as they are in this film. The movie is graphically impressive, to be sure, but what really shines is the story itself, and in this movie, the story has been chiseled down to the basic foundational elements, elements that, amazingly, too many screenwriters ignore.
The reason I’m excited about this series is because the elements of a great story are also the elements of a great life. And when those elements are clearly defined, it’s hard for a story to go wrong.
If you’re leading or managing a team, I’m betting you can learn more from the movie Toy Story 3 than you can from a dozen books on business.
If you’ve seen the movie, you know the story. Andy is heading off to college, and the toys are trying to navigate a difficult transition. They might get stored in the attic, or they might get donated to a local daycare center, but what they really want is to be reunited with Andy and to be played with, as was their created purpose. Thus the adventure ensues.
A great story is simply this: A character that wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.
Again, the genius of the movie Toy Story 3 is that it offers clarity to each of these elements. It’s true in stories and it’s true in life. When we know exactly what we want, and exactly what opposes us, life doesn’t feel muddled or unclear. And if a team knows exactly what they are trying to accomplish, and exactly what opposes them, they are more likely to engage.
One of the primary qualities of a good story, and for that matter a good life, is clarity. Clarity clarity clarity.
So my question to you is this: Are the element of your personal story clear? Do you know what you want, and do you know what opposes you?
If you lead a team, is it perfectly clear to each member what it is you are trying to accomplish, and what it is that opposes that ambition?
In your next team meeting, pull out a white board and write down the ambition. Then ask the team what opposes that ambition. Circle the opposition you can actually do something about, and chalk the rest up to chance (opposition that is outside your control lends great excitement to the adventure.) and see how much more engaged your team becomes. Why? Because you’ve launched them into a story.
You can do this as an individual too. Clearly define your ambition, and clearly define what you have to overcome, and then go for it. The stuff that makes a great story also makes a great life.
Tomorrow, I’ll get more specific about how some lessons from the movie Toy Story 3 apply to our lives.
Related: Million Miles, Living a Better Story Seminar
My story is pretty clear. Not sure I would say I have clarity clarity clarity.
My problem seems to be that I am never content, which might actually be a spiritual problem.
I wonder if the ordinary is more extraordinary and our story is greater than it seems to be in the first place.
often wondered that myself. glad others have too.
I’ve also wondered about that myself too.
If I chose my own role in the cosmic drama, why did I choose to be just me? Maybe being (mostly) ordinary does make better life story in the end.
I suppose everyone has these thoughts in passing at one time or another. The magic of Don Miller is that he captured those fleeting thoughts and put them into a framework we can all use in “A Million Miles.”
I have the same thoughts, David. I have a friend that says that managing expectations is the name of the battle that we face with finding contentment.
I wonder what you guys think about that idea. Do you think that we should check our expectations and alter those to match reality, or should we set our expectations high and make our reality achieve them?
Brad, there is a section in “Million Miles” that addresses the contentment-expectation issue. It’s focuses on the Danish people. In opinion polls, the Danes self-report to be the happiest people on Earth. A plausible reason: Danes tend to have a different (somewhat lower) set of expectations than others in the Western World.
But if you settle for low expectations, you are likely to end up with a boring life, right?…and it’s his boring life that set Don out on the “Million Miles” journey in the first place. In that journey, in middle and later parts of the book, Don takes you on a tour of scenarios that address the niggling doubts that arise when you see that writing a good script for yourself is not all that easy.
Settling for low expectations is safe, but do you want your whole life to be like settling for the security of a dead end job?
We might take instruction from those that design state-run lotteries to add spice to life. They tell us that a lottery which attracts lots of interest has: (i) the possibility of winning a staggeringly huge jackpot, (ii) a number of smaller, but substantial prizes, in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, (iii) many small $2, $5, and $10 prizes that make winning seem possible, and keep people playing. Maybe we should strive to write the script of our lives so that attainment of one the middle substantial prizes, and contentment with that, are a virtual certainty, but without ever letting going of the possibility of winning the big jackpot – everything you every dreamed of.
I TOTALLY agree with Brad’s friend. I have personally found that it does wonders when you apply it to relationships. If I “expect” my alcoholic relative to behave in a logical manner, then I am disappointed EVERY SINGLE TIME we interact. If I lower my expectations of her and just accept the fact that she will hardly ever add anything positive to my life, then I am delighted if she ever does something good… and I am not disappointed if she behaves in her typical alcoholic behavior.
I think in life, for me, to have big expectations is an invitation for great disappointment…like, if I expect to always be treated fairly, to get the good job that I deserve, for my article to be selected for the magazine, etc…then I will be disappointed a lot. But if I HOPE for these things to happen, and work toward them accordingly, I am more likely to find contentment.
…well put david…
Dealing with a chronic illness has put a lot of my ambitious dreams on hold (hopefully temporarily)…and got me rethinking the value of the ordinary…and ways that you can write a great story in small ways…
think it’s an important point to acknowledge.
I’m so glad you’re doing this – you’re absolutely right. Not only was the story that good, I’m convinced it was the best one yet. I’m looking forward to the rest of your series!
I like it!
Just what I needed to be reminded of today. I’ve been slipping, getting discouraged, and you reminded me to jolt out of it and remember what I’m doing…the journey and how it is worth it to keep walking!
Maybe I will get around to seeing that movie…especially before September, just in case you reference it.
Great Toy Story post. BTW the “Free Download” link for the survey does not unzip.
Ahhhh, now I know why my story has been on hold for years. I don’t know what I want … Ugh. Pretty pathetic.
Theodora…you could NEVER be pathetic! I don’t always think I know what I want either, but with a little pondering and asking of God, I do believe clarity comes.
Glad to see your name and think of you. My picture of you is in some glorious attic style library sitting curled up in a picture window reading a book. Don’t ask me why, but that is my pic for you.
And my pic of you is beautiful and not pathetic in the least.
Now I know what I want! I want to move by Shellybell. You’ve touched me twice this week across the miles. Both times when I needed it and those around me couldn’t see it.
God Bless You in Abundance!
I love the Toy Story trilogy. It’s in my top-10 favorite movies, right up there with Lawrence of Arabia, It’s a Wonderful Life, Road to Perdition, Sideways, etc. Bring it on!
I thought about the elements of story when I saw the movie over the weekend with my husband and son. I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if life was always that clear cut. If goals were always that simple and heroes and villains were so easy to spot.
My tribe does not seem to have a goal that is greater than us. A highter purpose if you will. In my life my goals often seem to conflict with the needs of my tribe. And I am not exactly sure how to change that.
In the first comment, David said, “I wonder if ordinary is more extraordinary and our story is greater than it seems to be in the frist place.” I also love your comment about the fact that it would be “nice if life was always that clear cut. If goals were always so simple and that heroes and villains were so easy to spot.” To me, providing well for a tribe is a high calling, and something “ordinary” that is actually extraordinary. I think it is a good trick of the devil in making us discontent with being faithful to the people we are in contact with on a daily basis. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to do something extraordinary or to always be perfect–when in reality–sometimes we are a hero and sometimes we are a villian( take David, Paul, anyone in the bible, or examine our own lives). The extraordinary thing is that God is with us in his redeeming love through all the confusion and discontent. One day, in the final act, we will experience that reality daily. I think because of that, our story IS greater than it seems in the first place.
I’ve come to realize that the extraordinary is the couple who stayed married 38 years, loved each other more than the day they married and claims the best years God gave them were the last 5 as she was dying from cancer, and the single mom who raises 5 kids while working a full time job but tucks them in each night and introduces them to a loving and faithful God who provides everything they need, and the family who walks the horrific road of helping their 9 year old son deal with an excruciating disease take his life more each day, yet praises God in their storm, recounts who God is every day, and shares how God loved them through it all even as they live without their son today.
I firmly believe, the devil wants to convince us all that what truly is extraordinary is just ordinary, so that you and me will leave the makings of an incredible story to go chase some shiny pot of gold that is just an illusion.
Life is a marathon…it takes perseverance, the willing ness to press on through the cramps, the mind games, the wall, and even the boredom.
Such a good movie. Can’t wait to see how you tie this all together.
What a movie . . . Unfortunately, I had an allergic reaction at the end of the movie that made my eyes water up and cause me to appear to be profusely crying. How weird is that??
I loved the movie and actually saw it twice. I think with my life I seem to get distracted and jump from story to story. I never really know what I want and when something new and shiny pops up and i want it but never really get it because I get distracted with something new and shiny. I also get scared and don’t want the failure of not accomplishing what I want to achieve.
What character from the movie can you relate to more? It was a very emotional movie for me. The last 20 or so minutes of the movie had me in tears.
Going to be watching my niece and nephews for a few days in July, and plan to take them to see the movie. Maybe I should give them a lesson on what makes a good story.
what if you dont know what you want?
then what you want is to find out what you want. in screenwriting terms, it’s called an “enlightenment story.” those stories are really great.
WHOA! A friend just told me that this morning – that what I want is to find out what I want. He also told me to start by getting rid of what I don’t want.
You guys need to watch the movie “UP!” Your new story/adventure just may pop up on your doorstep.
I’m with you. I either can’t seem to get the things I think I want or I don’t know what I want.
I know what I want but figuring out how to get it is where I am stuck. (Or at least I believe I know what I want.)
Hey Don, I’m a huge fan of Pixar franchise, and I love their stories. I’m wondering though what you’d say to a movie like American Beauty, where the desires and conflicts are more existential and maybe less “clearly” defined?
Um. You know those ‘fundamentalists’ we keep trashing around here?
They have clarity, clarity, clarity. They know exactly what their objective is and what their opposition is. The is gospel is X, Y, Z and 1, 2, 3. Their enemies are muddled thinking and muddled thinkers who sit around thinking, “Well, it could be this or it could be that. Who really knows? And who can say? Let’s just have a cappucino and talk about love in the generic sense.”
Just saying.
I hear you, Johnny, but many people who are wrong have clarity. Are you presupposing that clarity is automatically truth? Or that if somebody says it’s true, it is true? How many people have clearly and passionately and stated lies thinking they were telling the truth?
Oh, no. Not at all. What I was saying – in a snarky way, admittedly – is that your post strikes me as a admission that there is something to learn from those who have clarity. That the fundies may be right about some things.
I am typically reticent to deem clarity a virtue in and of itself and suspicious of anyone who has things mapped out to the nth degree in advance. But I also don’t get much accomplished, either! I want to have a better story when I’m finished. I am toying with the idea of writing an autobiographical book. Many have suggested it because of the special challenges of my life and marriage. It would make a great testimony, they say. But I’m not happy with where it would end right now! I want to have a better ending and your work, especially ‘Miles’, is helping motivate me to change that.
Keep challenging us to the “good” kind of clarity.
Don, I like both your and Johnny’s points, here. On the one hand, clarity itself does not equal truth. The Nazis are another group who had great clarity about their ambitions. On the other hand, ambivalence also does not equal truth. Your original post is about the importance of, as you put it, clearly defining your ambition and clearly defining your obstacles. And to define something is to say “It’s this, and NOT that,” rather than embracing a multiplicity of meanings, or denying the possibility of definition in the first place (i.e., “Who really knows? And who can say?”).
The thing is, in a way, we are all fundamentalists. We all have clarity about our objective and our obstacles. For some, like Johnny says, the obstacle is muddled thinking. For others, the obstacle is UN-muddled thinking, overly black-and-white declarations and beliefs, devoid of subtlety or nuance. But in both cases, at some point, we draw a line for ourselves. At some point each of us says, “I agree with THIS, but NOT with that”–just as your original post is about your agreement with the writers of “Toy Story 3″ on the importance of clarity in your ambitions and obstacles. So you would be in disagreement with anyone who promotes nebulous or unresolved thinking in this area. “Muddled” thinking, as it were.
Jesus, too, drew a line and promoted clarity (John 14:6). We fundamentalists are in good company.
In the interest of clarity…I posted my reply above before Explorer had refreshed the page, and I didn’t see Johnny’s second reply until afterwards. So my reply only addresses Johnny’s first post and Don’s first reply.
[...] The film of the summer. Donald Miller agrees with me, in his own special [...]
I took my grown boys to Toy Story 3 with my wife on Father’s Day. It was awesome, and brought back lots of great memories about when we all saw the first two Toy Stories together over the past 15 years.
My sons, Parker and Caed, and I are producing a documentary about our friend Janet, who turns 104 in October. We’re inviting people, any people, to ask ANY question of Janet they like, about how to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Please read about Janet here, http://bit.ly/adgwd2 and post your question.
You can also follow the conversation that just started on Facebook here: http://bit.ly/c6u6iT
What would you like to ask Janet?
We are trying to capture her life story through your questions.
Please feel free to forward to your friends.
I just blogged about Toy Story 3 too – SO many valuable things in that movie – look forward to your next posts!
Don~
Is this a taste of what your seminar is going to be like? Wow, I don’t want to miss it! Do you still have tickets available?
Clarity of purpose. Great point Don! I think this can be one of the easiest things to lose track of. We tend to get so caught up in just making it day to day sometimes that we forget to look at the overall story and remember what it’s all about.
Here’s a question: What can we do on a daily basis to help maintain our focus?
So glad you’re writing about this fantastic movie and how to apply it to our lives. We took the students from our church to go see it this past Sunday and spent our evening service discussing the many applications of it. I only wish you would have written this sooner so that I could have instilled a little of your wisdom into the lesson as well!
Great Post. Life is seldom as clear as the screen play of a movie, but it is never as complicated as we want to make it. I run several, (5), businesses and I often get peddling too fast and wonder if I am spending time, money and energy in a way that would please God. I do what Don is suggesting often and find it does result in clarity. I get the teams together, off site and refocus on simple goals, or as Don says ambitions. What is the story we are trying to tell the market and what is the story we want to act out. Make that story happen. I cannot wait to see the movie and to read the next two installments here
Don,
The fact that you’re doing a 3 part series on Toy Story 3 just made my day. I got to see it a couple days ago and felt it was one of the best movies I’d seen a long while. Apparently, there are a few reasons why. I’m looking forward to your future posts on it!
I love it. Thank you for sharing your insight into the movie. It made it even better to me.
Love it. Thanks Don. I also saw this in Disney/Pixar’s Ratatouille, which I saw in the theater and left realizing I needed to have a clear vision of what I felt God created me to do so I could go after it. Four years later I’m living the dream, not to be a cook but to write. Can’t wait to see Toy Story 3.
A great movie and a great blog series. Our unique stories do unfold as we pursue clarity and they also call for courage. Courage to pursue clarity and the courage to act on it. It seems like we often drop the ball when the “then go for it” phase emerges and find ourselves asking the same clarifying questions that we have already answered. I hear you saying that our pursuit of clarity includes ongoing refinement… I really like that framework. It will help me ask great some questions of myself and of my organization… Thanks Don.
Well, I haven’t seen the movie yet, but am now really looking forward to it.
To contribute to the discussion: When I was in my upper teens I had a “clarity moment”. I discovered that it was more important for me to decide what I did NOT want in life than what I wanted. I tried to teach my children this lesson as well. It makes finding who you are and what you want much easier and it closes the door to some of the destructive ideas that one is exposed to.
[...] Toy Story 3: What We Can Learn From A Great Story The reason I’m excited about this series is because the elements of a great story are also the elements of a great life. And when those elements are clearly defined, it’s hard for a story to go wrong. If you’re leading or managing a team, I’m betting you can learn more from the movie Toy Story 3 than you can from a dozen books on business. [...]
Great post! Now to go read the other two. Excellent points. Love it!
[...] Toy Story 3: What We Can Learn From a Great Story Pt. 1 of 3 [...]
[...] http://donmilleris.com/2010/06/29/toy-story-3-a-life-lesson-pt-1/ http://donmilleris.com/2010/06/30/toy-story-3-what-we-can-learn-from-a-great-story-pt-2-of-3/ http://donmilleris.com/2010/07/01/toy-story-3-what-we-can-learn-from-a-great-story-pt-3-of-3/ var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_config.linkname=”Don Miller On Toy Story 3″; a2a_config.linkurl=”http://www.popandfaith.com/?p=264″; No Comments [...]
“they really want is to be reunited with Andy and to be played with, as was their created purpose.”
isn’t that true about us in life. We have been designed to have a personal relationship with Christ and we want to feel loved, so we pursue Him. We encounter several obstacles along the way, but we are waiting for the day to be reunited with our owner!
thank you!
<3
Just went to the movie with my kids and hubby. Was not prepared. Either I’m having a particularly emotional day, or the creative, inspirational, heartwarming mastery of storytelling in Toy Story 3 was worth bawling through both the beginning and the end in the movie theater. Hubby told me to read this post. I will right now. Whew.
[...] Part 1 [...]
[...] can check out Donald Miller’s blog for some great thoughts about story and love : here. here. and [...]
Hi Don. After reading your latest book, I will accept your recommendation to see Toy Story 3. I think you’re right in that the art of story telling seems to have wained so much … hope this relights the fires of film makers and story writers.
Thanks Don! I went and saw Toy Story 3 after reading this post and loved it. I am directing a large Vacation Bible School at my church this coming week and decided to use your thoughts during my training session for our 90 volunteers yesterday. It went great! I appreciate your candid, honest, and thought provoking writing. Some friends of yours from Imago Dei recommended your books to me years ago before they became so popular and I have read them all several times since
Lord Bless you.
[...] love Donald Miller’s blog , so when he posted about Toy Story 3, I did not want to read it until we had seen the movie. Yesterday, Scott and I used our free [...]
[...] Don Miller loved Toy Story 3, too. He loved it so much that he wrote a three part blog entry contemplating the elements of Story as seen in the film. To sum, the characters knew what they wanted, and had to overcome conflict to get it. He says the characters were good, their enemy was clearly defined, and it was all about love. [...]
[...] http://donmilleris.com/2010/06/29/toy-story-3-a-life-lesson-pt-1/ http://donmilleris.com/2010/06/30/toy-story-3-what-we-can-learn-from-a-great-story-pt-2-of-3/ http://donmilleris.com/2010/07/01/toy-story-3-what-we-can-learn-from-a-great-story-pt-3-of-3/ [...]
[...] life hard sometimes last year. Part of my encouragement revolved around not living in fear, and living a good story. It is what’s wonderful about great stories… you really don’t know what is [...]