I’ve a shelf at home devoted to books about writing. I’d say I might even have two shelves devoted to those books now. I’ve read most of them and some are better than others. But the best writing advice I’ve ever received didn’t come from a book. It actually occurred to me one morning when I was lying in bed, not wanting to get up and do my job. Maybe it came from heaven, I don’t know. But the advice was this: Love your reader.
It sounds simple, but it isn’t so easy, actually.
Writing is something most of us do alone. We might collaborate on a screenplay or something, but with a book or a blog, we are alone in front of our computers, tapping out our thoughts. It’s not like the reader is sitting behind us, looking over our shoulder making comments. We’re pretty disconnected from whoever it might be who will ultimately be benefited by our work. For this reason, it’s hard to remember that, well, people will actually be benefited by our work.
Add to this, most writers don’t think there work really matters. I’ve met writers who have sold thousands of books and still don’t think anybody’s life has been changed by their efforts. There’s an enemy whispering in their ear, I think.
I wrote four books and sold millions before I realized I was helping anybody. Sure I knew people were reading my stuff, but I didn’t realize they were making better decisions because we’d sat down for a few hours and I shared my heart.
But these days, that’s about all that’s keeping me going. Just the thought that somebody out there might not leave their spouse, or quit on that book they’re writing, or change their career or find God. In all those books about writing filled with tips and tricks, I think loving the reader is the best motivator I’ve found. And it keeps the quality up, too. We do tend to put our best foot forward when we care about somebody.
So the next time you sit down to write a blog, just remember somebody is going to read it and be encouraged.
Hopefully you can do daily postings… I hate looking at my rss feed with nothing new from you donald. We’ll have to have a chat about this
I think we all too often forget that what we do, while for us, is ultimately for others as well. You’ve got to remember your audience when you do anything. You can’t expect a high school student to understand the same things as a college senior. But loving your reader? That’s really hard, especially if you feel like no one is reading. It’s kind of like loving your neighbor as yourself. It’s hard but you have to, and when you do, beautiful things will come of it. We work our hardest and best when we’re in love, not when we’re in hate.
I have a couple of shelves of books on writing too, and you’re right. That bit of advice isn’t in any of them. But I think I like your advice the best. “Love your reader.” I’m going to remember that one.
I encountered this marvelous “Love your reader” post on the rebound, after just having read an excerpt from Joan Didion’s “Why I Write.” In it she says, “Why I Write. There you have three short unambiguous words that share a sound, and the sound they share is this: I, I, I.”
She goes on to say, “In many ways writing is the act of saying I, of imposing oneself upon other people, of saying listen to me, see it my way, change your mind. Its an aggressive, even a hostile act. …..setting words on paper is the tactic of a secret bully, an invasion, an imposition of the writers sensibility on the readers most private space.”
Joan Didion says she willfully stole the title from George Orwell’s famous “Why I Write.” In it, George Orwell’s reasons for writing also had an egotistical and Machiavellian emanation. But George Orwell was a politico, and we’d expect that from him. I didn’t expect that from Joan Didion.
I love Joan Didion because she wrote “The Year of Magical Thinking,” a narrative account of the crazy things that were running through her head the year after her husband died. Her book helped be so much in dealing with my own mother’s death. And the book was so helpful NOT because she imposed her writer’s sensibility on the reader’s most private space. It was because Joan Didion invited the reader into her most private space – her own I, I, I. In writing “The Year of Magical Thinking” she loved her reader!
Don, Thank you for winning the day. Thank you for rising above the cacophony of writer’s voices on writing. Thank you for giving me food for thought forever more. I was beginning to think that I write just for I, I, I too. But you’ve made me realize that I too write best when I love my reader.
Ref.
Joan Didion’s “Why I Write”
http://www.idiom.com/~rick/html/why_i_write.htm
George Orwell’s “Why I Write”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_I_Write
Donald,
Geez, that makes me seem motherly yelling it’s dinner time. I must say you need to come to Texas. Which method, I’d recommend canoe, but I hate to be confrontational right of the bat. Thought I’d just drop a note gently on your screen. And next,… the goodbye.
goodbye!
http://blogmysins.blogspot.com/
You seem to be struggling with something. The “all that’s keeping [you] going” is quite powerful, yet we tend to word our motivations differently when we’re slap-happily frolicking along. You okay?
This meant so much to me I came back and read it a second time. Thanks again.
[...] The Best Writing Advice I’ve Ever Received from Donald Miller’s Blog [...]
Don, I am one of those readers who have not only not-quit my writing, you have inspired me to pursue it and to change my story by refusing to quit. Even if it meant rejection. After I submitted my story in your short film contest last year, I made it my goal to write a book proposal for the purpose to see if I could be published. I gave myself a one year goal. I made it, Don. I wrote a book proposal, got agented, and now I’m in the final stretches of working through a book deal. Don, if you’re reading this (and I hope you are): THANK YOU. Your book, “A Million Miles” injected the inspiration I needed to change my story, your Creator series gave me the gas to cycle through my proposal, and your blog posts… well, they were my virtual “creativity” prompts.
If you feel so inclined, drop me an email. I’d love to send you a copy of my book when it publishes. I won’t spam you or abuse your hospitality. 
Just want to express my gratitude for the way you write by faith — the book God used to turn my path towards writing to change others’ stories in turn. No pressure. 
It would just make.my.day. Thank you, Don. Blessings!
Thanks for your thoughts here, Don. I have to say that I am one of the many people who has greatly benefited from your writing. Thank you for allowing God to use you the way He has. I pray He’ll continue to use you to love and bless people.
Thank you!
[...] Today, when conducting research, I ran across those words on Donald Miller’s blog. He’s a Christian writer. It was the title of his post that got me to pause and read what he wrote. The title, ” The Best Writing Advice I’ve Ever Received” piqued my curiosity. You can read his full post here. [...]
I really appreciated this inner guidance Don. And yes, I believe the message you heard/thought was from the divine. As I blog, I will forever remember what you shared. I need to love my reader. Thanks Don!
[...] The Best Writing Advice I’ve Ever Received – by Donald Miller (author of Blue Like Jazz) [...]
Bravo! Those are wise words! It makes so much sense, yet I’ve never heard anyone else say — especially so succinctly. Thanks, Don!
[...] then I read a post by Donald Miller (who DOES have an excellent blog) about writing. And I realized that while this might be a [...]
How often do I write / speak / counsel / teach others in order to gain affirmation for my existence? The gift of communication is not given for my validation, but for the benefit of those who hear. May love for my audience fuel my passion to speak / write / teach / counsel.
Sorry to be a grammar Nazi (and feel free to delete this post afterward), but in your line “most writers don’t think there work really matter,” the “there” should be “their”.
Ann, I noticed that mistake right away and am surprised it wasn’t corrected.
Thanks so much Don. You are a mentor to me and to many others!
I read “Blue Like Jazz” back in 2005, and not only did I cry buckets while reading it, I also talked back to the book aloud – and don’t take this the wrong way, but I wasn’t answering you. I was answering God. God loved me through your words, because He knew I could hear Him through your voice. I can’t tell you how much I needed it!
My life is completely different now, and while you don’t really get all the credit for that, you sitting down and being painfully honest in black and white did help to save my life. So YES! What you do matters – it matters in a most important way, and the fact that you feel unsure and/or insecure about it only makes your delivery of God’s love to me more believable. I had read probably close to a hundred books about God before I read yours, but the vulnerability and honesty in your words is what made me able to hear what God wanted to tell me.
I have since read “Searching For God Knows What” and “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years” – I think that you and I are pretty good friends by now….
Thanks for that!!
ALL this time I have been writing mostly as a release, without giving much thought to my reading audience, probably because it is almost non-existing, lol
My vision is to publish some material one day, guess its time I take my soon-to-be reading audience more seriously.
Thanks Again!!
[...] Donald Miller shares the best writing advice he’s ever received. [...]
[...] had been stamped all over my experience. In the midst of praying about what to say to them I read THIS BLOG ENTRY by Donald Miller – where he said the best writing advice he’s ever received is [...]
Thank you for continuing to write, even when you don’t feel like it.
I, among many, have been very encouraged from many of your books and blog posts. Your work is certainly one that changes lives.
Also, thank you for the tip. It’s a great one!
Wow…thanks for sharing this, and thanks for loving your readers enough to continue to write.
I needed to read this. Thanks so much. I’m glad you wrote that part about it being hard to love your readers. I’m also glad you wrote that part about not wanting to get up and write. It’s a real battle sometimes. I needed that word.
[...] Miller offers some brief but good advice to writers online and [...]
Hi Don,
I just came across your inspiring post and wanted to say bravo!
In the film, “Shadowlands,” at one point the C.S. Lewis character
says, “We write to know we’re not alone.” I believe he means we
write to reach out to one another and to connect emotionally.
When we love our reader, we begin to build that bond and it
becomes a bridge.
Interestingly, some very successful writers do not focus on
their readers, but on their own inner drive (I just wrote
a post on this called “Inner Knowing.” But ultimately, I think
if you love yourself enough to follow your intuition and write
dangerously, then that love will embrace your reader as well.
Write on,
Karin
Thanks for this, Don. Writing lately has felt like plowing through stone, and it’s been a bit discouraging. You have given a fresh perspective and reminded me what it’s ultimately all about.
If you love me, mind your grammar.
It hurts when you write “most writers don’t think there work really matters”. It does, and if the spelling is right, it matters even more!
[...] Donald Miller shares the best writing advice he’s ever received. [...]
My most recent response to your latest book…
http://20years1000words.wordpress.com/better-stories/
(Website URL soon will be http://www.20years1000words.com …in the process of working out technical issues and relaunching an old website…so this doesn’t yet have much content.)
Thank you for this encouragement, Don. I’m one of your readers – both your blog and your books. Your words have inspired me and encouraged me. They have changed my direction on more than one occassion. I am also a writer – trying to publish my first book. Reminding me to love my reader is a good kick in the seat of the pants today when I’d rather do anything than search for an agent.
[...] Don Miller says that this is the best writing advice: Love your Reader. [...]
I appreciate your perspective and openness in your writing. “Love your reader” Eloquently simple advice… Lord bless you.
Don,
I just discovered your website today. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I recently read something someone wrote about trying not to make myself the hero in my writing, but make God the hero. I am going to couple this comment with your comment “love your reader”, paste it on my computer and refer to it as I type out my devotional for book moms. Thank you for sharing your heart and helping me to focus on what’s really important in my writing.
That’s awesome. I love the idea that God is the hero. Just read an article today about being the star of your story, and how it’s healthy to be the star if you’re story is about helping others. Psychology today. Good stuff. Best to you regarding that devotional.
Post-It Note quality advice, thanks Don. Just stuck it on my screen, while I’m working on a post here. I think it’s awesome that THIS blog entry of yours comes up above the fold in Google for the search phrase “love your reader”
Don, your love for the students that read “Million Miles” with me last semester changed many of their lives…with many committing themselves to callings in social work, ministry, counseling, and working with children in just a couple short months. Thanks.
Your post today was like the North Star peeking out of the clouds on a very dark night. I’ve been struggling with my writing recently – focus off, major creative blockage, totally unmotivated – bleah. Then I read “love your reader”. Well, there it is. Writing from the heart, honestly, and in love. It’s not any easier…actually, I think it’s harder. I’ve got to know my heart first. But it’s real, and it’s true, and it’s so powerful. Thank you.
Donald,
Thank you so much for your encouraging posts. I’ve been following you for over a year now and I’m compelled to express my gratitude. As someone who also loves writing, this is the best advice really. And in this post of yours, I totally connect
I love to read both your books and blogs. The message is meaningful and written with a great sense of humor. You are very gifted, and a constant encouragement to me.
Last night I told my friend that since I decided at Christmas-time to try writing a devotional I haven’t been able to write a thing. Maybe God doesn’t want me to write. She said, “Have you asked Him” – well, I can’t remember if I did so that’s a good place to start. Went to bed asking God – do you want me to do something else or do you want me to write something? 5AM – the piece I couldn’t write for the last 30 days was there – fresh and competely new, so I went back to sleep. Got up and started writing, quit when it got hard and started surfing – got your tweet, read the blog – and I beleive it’s confirmation. I will encourage someone, even if it’s only myself!
i’m going to get “love your reader” tattooed on the back of my knuckles, like rihanna’s “thug life” tattoo. my wife thanks you, donald miller!
Thanks for taking the time to remind us of this idea. That loving others is more then just what we do in say in person but in everything that we do, say or type.
This is brilliant and love-full. As I am in the midst of writing my first book this helps a lot. Thank you.
Great advice, for any creative work. Thanks!! It does make a difference.
Dude wow! What a wonderful insight into writing your best work for those who will read it. It’a amazing how easy it is to become disconnected from the heart of it all. It’s so easy to discount your own work and downplay what you’ve written. How glorious to know that your work can be a healing force in other’s lives. Something that leads them toward an intimate understanding of God and His love. Thanks for sharing this!
Your books really help. They mean a lot to me.
This is fabulous. Thanks for the dose of perspective.
I love this. Fantastic advice. More wisdom than advice, though. And so connected to what you have been saying about character. There is much beauty in what you have just written and the heart with which you wrote it. Thank you for sharing this piece of yourself.