Each work morning I read a bit of the Bible. I don’t study it, I just read it. It’s my morning coffee and conversation with a power greater than myself. It centers me and without it I think I’d be distracted at work, distracted by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter. This morning I was reading through Psalm 7. There’s a humble thought in the Psalm where David asks God to “trample his life to the ground and lay his soul in the dust” if he has ever screwed over a friend or an ally.
David was a dramatic guy. He was a passionate leader, or at least a passionate writer (something tells me he was a bit more sober in person as passion inspires but leadership needs to be measured). Regardless, the thought occurred to me that we often need to pray against ourselves.
I was taking communion a few weeks ago in Nashville, at one of my favorite churches. My friend Jim Chaffee happened to be delivering communion that day and as I stood in line to go forward, I prayed about what to pray. Literally, I asked God what He wanted me to say to Him as I took communion. I don’t normally do this, but I thought it would be a fun way to connect with God, to just talk to Him during the process as opposed to only remembering Him.
Anyway, what came to my mind was just a simple phrase: “Christ, defeat me with your goodness.” I liked the phrase because it meant God was good and I was not, and yet He would not defeat me with His anger or His wrath, but His kindness, His grace and His goodness. I like to think the phrase came from God, but that’s not provable. We do know God’s kindness brings us to repentance, though.
Another truth in that statement is there are very real desires in me and real ambitions that are not good. Some of the actions that stem from my personality are selfish, and damaging to others. They are manipulative and lack truth and so stifle relationships. These characteristics must be defeated because God wants His family to be close, and so each of us must be defeated by God, by God’s kindness. His kindness endears me to a personal commitment to tell the truth, into the thrill and humiliation and generosity of that very risky place where we walk into the world saying “I’m not too much and I’m not too little but this is who I am” and also that “there but for the grace of God go I.”
So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.
I love that phrase(“Christ,defeat me with your goodness”).If God is good and he made good things,that means that us what he wants to see in the world and in me.The goodness of God is His glory revealed and I want everything in me that doesn’t reflect his glory to be trampled.God created us from dust and his image on us elevated us from something small and insignificant.But I welcome God to pulverize anything in me that doesn’t live up to his design.I’d rather see those parts of me be ashes from a living sacrifice than huge,heavy stones that I carry everywhere.I invite God to destroy, and defeat what blocks my reception of his voice, and the things about me that break his heart.God can’t lose or fail,so I know those places I us will be defeated.I recite this prayer with you,” okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.”
Love that phrase also, really goes counter to what most of the church takes as an approach.
Thank you for writing, Don. I’m not a writer, but I check your blog often. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate your time and thoughts. And in my opinion, this blog is up there as one of your best!
Don, I love the ring of freshness that this post brings! The language you chose to use paints a beautiful canvas that doesn’t really tell me as a longtime Christian anything I didn’t already know on some level, but it does – brilliantly – take me outside of the box and give me a new perspective on things.
Most excellent, sir. Thank you.
Awesome idea. I have really been thinking lately about how God calls us to be so counter-cultural. We don’t think like people do, we don’t act like them. That is not saying we are better, but our citizenship is in heaven and not of this world. I thought about how God does not call us to do this because He is mean, but because He does the same thing. God is so different than anything or anyone here on earth! I’m talking complete difference. So it makes sense that God would defeat us with kindness. See here we are taught the strongest wins, which I guess is true. But in God’s kingdom things are backwards. Kindness is stronger than force, and is a tool God uses to defeat us. I’ll be thinking about this all day!! thanks man!
Amen, Don! For the longest time I thought God was either a tyrant about to kill me, or a complex math problem. Then a few weeks ago God showed Himself to me during communion, and that changed everything.
Don, When I read your post, I couldn’t help but think of John Donne’s poem. For those who are unfamiliar with John Donne, he lived a long time, in a far away land (across the pond that is), and wrote poetry.
BATTER my heart, three person’d God; for, you
As yet but knocke, breathe, shine, and seeke to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o’erthrow mee,’and bend
Your force, to breake, blowe, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurpt towne, to’another due,
Labour to’admit you, but Oh, to no end,
Reason your viceroy in mee, mee should defend,
But is captiv’d, and proves weake or untrue.
Yet dearely’I love you,’and would be loved faine,
But am betroth’d unto your enemie:
Divorce mee,’untie, or breake that knot againe;
Take mee to you, imprison mee, for I
Except you’enthrall mee, never shall be free,
Nor ever chast, except you ravish mee.
Forgive the old English. I know that you are talking about being overthrown by God’s Kindness. But I was moved when you wrote.
“there are very real desires in me and real ambitions that are not good. Some of the actions that stem from my personality are selfish, and damaging to others. They are manipulative and lack truth and so stifle relationships. These characteristics must be defeated because God wants His family to be close, and so each of us must be defeated by God, by God’s kindness.”
In God’s kindness he batters our hearts, yours and mine. Donne wanted God so much that he pled with him to besiege his heart and take it with force. And like David, Donne, and Don I too want to be desperate for God to defeat my heart.
“We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.”
This is exactly what I thought of when I read the blog post. I used to teach students about that poem at a Christian college and it was very interesting discussing whether or not it was appropriate to think of God “ravishing” us–essentially attacking us–with his divinity. It’s partly that it comes out of a certain literary style that loves to use startling extremes, but it also seems to come from that sometimes desperate desire for God to force us to be like him or to overwhelm us so that we will finally overcome our sinfulness. It’s that ache for God to have his way rather than for me to have my way.
Have never heard the poem, thanks for sharing it…deeply moving…a “soul grabber”…
Great post by D.M., I think as believer’s the “connection” with God exists fully when we belong to Him…the problem, I think, is that we are limited for many reasons in our ability to see it. We get in the way of fully seeing the truth about who we are in Christ.
That’s interesting. I also heard this poem while taking a Christian college course, but i was in California? It’s remained with me till this day, but of course blasted back into consciousness when Don posted this great post.
Daniel, That was perhaps the best comment I have read on here since Don’s blog began. Thank you for sharing the poem. It cut deep as well.
I identified much with Don’s thoughts encouraging me to rid myself of the bunch rot from my old life. We are the fields planted and that requires a constant pruning of our lives each year. The older a plant gets the more obvious to see the pruning needed for the plant.
My dad is a Vineyard Grower in the Oregon Wine Industry. We sell to about 5 wineries every year the last 30 years. Many of my friends are the Wine masters. Stories about pruning vines flow out of these masters mouths like a fine drink. Dad and I have spent all those years working on the vines to produce fruit. Don’s post reminds me of what we have to do often to each plant in order to produce the best harvest.
Don . . . you really explored the space on that one. More Cowbell! Really one of your best posts Don.
Wow, what an idea!
Don’s post was highly insightful. It’s hard to admit that we need pruning, that we need to rid ourselves or “rot”. I will remember this idea of pruning vines — it’s something Jesus refers to in John 14 or 15? “abide in me,” and such.
And I will echo Jim in Portland =D
More Cowbell, Don! More Cowbell!
All is Grace!, “Christ defeat me with your goodness”
I love it! Christ goodness win’s and I stand defeated with a smile on my face.
Thanks Don!
“Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking.”
Such a great thought to start the day. Only in our weaknesses and failures can God truly receive all the glory for the work He calls us to do.
“I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me.” I remember all the prayers of my youth… Lord please give me patience, grace, love for others…. and all the misery that created, because He is a God who answers our prayers,,,and my depravity is huge…but could His kindness, His goodness…His gentleness really bring about the same thing.. hmmmm…worth a try!
Wow! Thank you Don. Needed to hear this.
I am sure your publisher has approached you already about
organizing some of your writings into a January-December
devotional. Is that available yet? I know that this blog
is actually that, but thought you may want to take some of
your writings and create a devotional, for those of us who are “old” and old fashioned and like having the book in our hands…
thanks for such beautiful words about God defeating us
with His kindness, grace and goodness…
I resonate most with the title today. A few days ago I read in Ephesians, “Find out what pleases God.” It struck me that if we have to “find it out,” then what pleases God is not obvious, not necessarily what I always thought would please him.
Lately, it seems, I’m called to rest and breathe and relax — sacrifice the anxiety and angst that I always thought were so virtuous, and wait moment by moment for his leadership and his way to become clear.
Apparently it pleases him to be kind to me, to be gentle and generous. After all these years, I’m surprised I didn’t already know that. Now the daily struggle, to the extent there is one, is to remember it and not allow the anxiety and angst to overcrowd it again.
Kill me with kindness?
Killing me softly?
Don, this is exactly where I am at right now. We have been dealing with a lot of “wrath” driven theology lately and this is where I land. Thanks for the encouragement.
This is totally legit. Enjoyed this blog very much. Sometimes I feel like when I screw up he brings wrath upon me and is angry with me. But I remember His grace is much more than I couold ever understand. And honestly I see his grace in other people when I do dumb things.
Just counseled with a person at our church on this very issue. It reminds me of Frederick Buechner’s book, Magnificant defeat. How wonderful that God would love us enough to wrestle out of us what we’re not willing to give up on our own.
Well said
I don’t know you personally, Don, but I love you & everything you have to say!
First, I loved this. It spoke with such a humble, honest, and peaceful tone. When you write in this way, it inspires me to reflect, to take an honest look within myself and my relationship with the Lord. It also makes me want to read Psalm 7, which I did, and that’s always a good thing! So, thanks for all of that.
Second, I believe it is provable that it came from God, but I know that isn’t the point. I just wanted to throw that in there because He tells us to ask and He tells us to search and seek, and He ALSO tells us what will happen if we do. He’s faithful in doing what He says He will do.
My prayer has often been, “Save me from myself Lord”, but I LOVE taking it further in asking God what HE thinks I need saving from.
His goodness, His grace overcame (killed) our sin. He used beauty to overcome the horrifying. Only God. Only God.
Thanks again!
A friend of mine visited a church this past Sunday. His words…”I feel like I just got beat up”. The sheep were threatened with fire and brimstone if they didn’t follow God. He thought to himelf during the service…”Why don’t we just tell them about the Love of God”. We believe it is God’s Goodness and love that truley changes the Heart.
Thanks
Andy
p.s. I’m in the middle of In Search of God Knows What. Thanks for your cander and saying many of the things we were all thinking.
great reminder. thanks. the sacraments of the church all seem to be the means of God breaking us by his goodness.
Venessa, it reminded me too of “Kill them with kindness.” That definitely requires me to come down off my high horse and live in humility, which is curiously Christ-like, isn’t it?
Don,
Thank you! This was exactly what I needed to hear today. My husband and I just recently moved to Portland, OR and started attending Imago Dei, this in part to two different people suggesting your book! Again, Thank you I needed to read these words and your thoughts today.
God Bless
Don’t you know that asking God to defeat you is terrifying?!? I mean, it’s like when said “Lord, please give me patience”. I promise you I wound up at every red light, in every slow check out, in another endless automated phone menu nightmare, in every traffic jam, etc. Don, are you sure you’re ready for what you’ve asked for? LOL.
Hopefully you’re sensing my sarcasm at this point. I’m so terrified of actually asking God to make me this or that. I’m certain that he’ll decide he needs me in Afghanistan with only mosquito’s to talk to (not that I think only mosquito’s live there of course). One of the things I struggle with (among many) is complete surrender, and yet that is the only thing that will ever heal me completely in the spiritual sense (and perhaps in the physical sense as well).
I grew up with a little fire and brimstone underneath my backside, so I am encouraged that the defeat doesn’t have to come from bolts of lightening (very very frightening, wait I just went into Bohemian Rhapsody
. Thanks for the blog. I hope I become brave enough to pray that someday.
~m
I understand what you are saying about being terrified of what will happen if you do ask God for that, but in my experience those things that are the scariest (like moving to Afghanistan) turn out to be the best experiences. I am now living in Afghanistan, and it is a pretty amazing place full of wonderful people (not at all what you’d expect from the news)!
I read a emailed devotional that focused on Psalm 107 – God’s love endures forever. The psalmist and the devotional remuniates about the goodness of God and how it captures us. I think breaking or destroying us is an apt description. Thank you for your words.
Yep, this is so true. I am 35 and have only truly discovered God’s goodness in the last 4 or so years- not that it wasn’t there all along, I just grew up with a god that was very judgemental, always expected me to be a better person and do more good things. Of course I never met the mark and lived a life of guilt. But when I finally started to admit that I will never be good enough, God started pouring out His goodness on me, and truly, he is defeating me with it. He’s breaking down all my defenses and self righteousness with pure and utter over-the-top goodness. To all my weaknesses He says “I am enough” and He just keeps showing me how crazy in love He is with me no matter what! It is in the light of this that I can now be free to live a life that actually honours and brings glory to Him, rather than pretending to be ‘enough’.
Wow,Don -I needed to hear this today. As I was driving home-kids in the back – I was astounded at the blacks thoughts that were surfacing from within my heart, and up to my head. I realized, once again, how miserable a condition I can find myself in -apart from my daily walk with our good and merciful God.
This is what happens when I go for months without that “daily communion”. And this is how God reminds me to spend time with him!
Great post. “Christ defeat me with your goodness”, those are powerful words. This reminds me of Psalm 139, specifically verses 23-24, “search me oh God and know my heart;test me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting”.
I heard someone describe it once as being “smothered with God’s love.” I want that.
I loved this post Don thank you for a new perspective and some good thoughts
casualties of goodnesss and prisoners of hope. its so good.
The Eucharist/Communion is not just a time of remembrance, but a solemn look at the way Jesus sacrificed his life and practiced nonviolence. When we take the elements (the “body” broken, “blood”poured out) we remember that the hold of sin, selfishness and violence in our lives is broken, but we also commit ourselves to living in the same manner, with life and love as our banner. We remember that Christ gave up his life for us and that we are called to give up what we want from our lives, how we want to live, so that others may live.
This is really helpful to me, especially today. I’m on the staff of a large church, and my eyes have been opened to the dysfuntion of our staff family. It would be easier to walk away. It is harder to stay and be loving.
[...] So here we are, temporary beings, with little to do but navigate our days in truth and humility. Perhaps it not the bigness of our personalities, but our smallness, our selves being defeated that will change the little bit of world God has appointed to us for caretaking. We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot connect, all the untruth and games and manipulation and we come to Him finally saying, okay, I get it, you really are good, defeat in me the lack of faith, let your goodness rid me of the stuff that doesn’t connect with you or the world around me. (via Donald Miller) [...]
Don–great post, both that you start your day in Bible “reading” not study and your prayer of letting God redeem you with His goodness. It was only when I was loved by God’s creations that I understood His love. But it was the goodness of His love, transmitted through others that redeemed my soul, not the wrath that I knew growing up.
Thanks again for a humble post that shouts from the rooftop!
Don, I admit I have a hard time with this one–accepting His kindness. When something good happens, I tense–waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like you, I come from an essentially fatherless home, and am guilty of projecting that image of fathering onto my Heavenly Father. I have to consciously, deliberately remind myself that He’s not like that. That He is indeed good, and always has my best interests at heart.
Thanks so much for writing this! It’s like water to my parched soul.
When I realized I was a screwed up loser, it really helped me be more receptive to God’s kindness. Before then, I was always doing damage control to try to show Him I really, really, really was worthy. http://spiritualklutz.blogspot.com/2010/03/oh-to-be-loser.html
I prayed a similar prayer the other day and then I paused. I am not sure I’m ready to have my SELF destroyed yet. I know that I am “fallen” and the Lord is good, but I like myself so much.
It was such a weird insight. I want God to serve ME and I am ridiculously vain–for really no good reason.
I comment because I think you are on to something here. I can’t (nor do I want to) fully comprehend it, but there is something very critical here.
Really God is good all the time, i like the words that you say that we must defeated us by His mercy and goodness not His anger or wrath towards us but his love to us.
Very encouraging, Don. Thank you!
I like the counter intuitive imagery of God “Defeating” us with goodness, something you’d think we’d accept with open arms. Why do we fight so hard what we should seemingly know is good for us, until God has to punch us in the face with kindness? That guy can hit.
Such a great post, Don.
One of my favorites.
oh, my goodness, this is exactly what I needed. I must confess I was wee bit grumpy towards God this morning and your blog post just shattered that.
thanks! So lovely.
Thank you Donald Miller. I really appreciated this particular entry a lot.
[...] for the link. And Anne Jackson is learning to receive as well. I’m also so glad to have read Donald Miller’s latest. “Christ defeat me with your goodness.” Wow. That’s my prayer. [...]
so good, thats all I can think of to say: it just really encourages me
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. I personally gained a sigh of relief and peace that i didn’t have after a big quarrel in my family. This was exactly what was needed, “Defeat me with Your Goodness.” In light and truth, i put down my pride and face what was my wrong in the quarrel and own up to it.
Appreciate your honesty, (always did in your books as well) if this is truly from God or yourself.. something i often question in my ‘thoughts’, but yours led me to repentance.
Hope to continue to see your truthful and honest work, and have a fruitful break~
I too need Jesus to defeat me daily with His goodness and his grace!
[...] are all ways to connect with God. I’m reminded of somethingone of my favorite authors, Don Miller, said: “We connect with God when we ask Him to defeat in us all the ways in which He cannot [...]