Through a dark night of the soul, I came to realize salvation happens through a mysterious, indefinable, relational interaction with Jesus in which we become one with Him. I realized Christian conversion worked more like falling in love than understanding a series of concepts or ideas. This is not to say there are no true ideas, it is only to say there is something else, something beyond. There are true ideas involved in marriage and sex, but marriage and sex also involve something else, and that something else is mysterious.
If we have a controlling personality, in which we like to check things off of lists, this is going to be extremely hard for us to understand and embrace. God gives us no control, really, over this “system” of relationship. Introducing somebody to Jesus is not about presenting ideas, then, as much as it is introducing a person to a Deity who lives and interacts. Evangelism, then, looks like setting somebody up on a blind date: God does the work, we just tell them about Him and where they can find Him.
You might be getting upset by this. You might think I am saying truth should be thrown out, that theology doesn’t matter. But this is not what I’m saying at all. What I’m intending to illustrate is that our drive to define God with a mathematical theology has become a false God rather than an arrow that points to the real God. Theology can become an idol, but it is more useful as guardrails on a road to the true God. Theology is very important, but it is not God, and knowing facts about God is not the same as knowing God. Let me give you an extreme example of how very bad we have gotten about this in the West.
About the time I was thinking through these things, I was teaching a class in Canada, and my students were freshman college students, all of whom had grown up in the church. The class was called “Gospel and Culture”. I started the class with an experiment. I told the class I was going to share the gospel of Jesus, but I was going to leave something out. I wanted them to figure out what I’d left out. I talked first about sin, about how we are fallen creatures. I told some stories and used some illustrations. I talked about repentance, and again told some stories, then I talked about God’s forgiveness, and I talked about heaven. I went on for some time. And when I finally stopped and asked the class to tell me what I left out. After twenty or more minutes of discussion, not one student realized I’d left out Jesus. Not one. And I believe I could repeat that same experiment in Christian classrooms across North America.
What I came to understand, then, is Christian conversion is relational. It is not theological or intellectual any more than marriage is theological or intellectual. In other words, a child could become a Christian if they had a mysterious encounter with Jesus, and a simple thinker could become a Christian if they had a mysterious encounter with Christ, and even a person who was a Muslim or a Buddhist could become a Christian if they had a mysterious relational encounter with Christ. This is the only answer at which I could arrive that matched the reality in which we live, the complexity of Scripture, and the mysterious invitation offered to us by Jesus.
This passage was an excerpt from Searching for God Knows What.
So good, and straight to the heart.
That actually sounded very orthodox. I wanted to say that impatiently: “of course! Who could possibly disagree? This is exactly what’s taught, even in church (though a whole lot more is taught as well, and should be, about all those other things, and about how “God became man by nature so that man might become god by grace” and how “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death” and cool stuff like that; and salvation is really more union with God than it is being “let off the hook,” as it were).” But I suppose that people do disagree, or I wouldn’t hear their (to me inaudible) argument refuted so often. So I shouldn’t be so impatient.
I kind of love this. It seems so simple, so obvious that my relationship with Jesus is more like falling in love. So obvious, and yet until I read this post such a thought had never occured to me. It just seems so like God to have our relationships with others mirror such a core part of our relationship with him. I fall in love with my loved ones through things that can be talked about and weighed, such as shared interests, personalities, and the like… but in the cases of my very closest friends, the ones that I have indeed fallen in love with, there’s always that “Aaugh!” factor: the one that cannot be defined, the one that leaves me only saying, “Aaugh! I don’t know, I can’t explain why… I love you!”
I can talk about reasons why I ought to love Jesus, and indeed they are also reasons why I DO love Jesus, but ultimately… I just love him. Aaugh! I do! And it happened over a few years; it was a process. I fell in love with the Living God, just like I fell in love with my loved ones. Well, just like it, and yet, not just like it. Falling in love with the Living God is, I think, the Authentic falling in love – the one that our human relationships highlight. Thank you, Don!
hi. just thought i’d say i love hearing your heart and delight and aaaaugh! i might just love you a little! a very shallow, easily-come-upon-love, but a little love, nonetheless. consider it a love-tweet.
ok, carry on loving your friends and Jesus and thank you for reminding me that my friend/favorite author-dude is talking to real people out there and so its ok for me to take him seriously, too.
Ethan,
Beautiful reflection. I continue to be amazed at the glimpse of possibilities of my relationship with Jesus through the blessing of relationships with my earthly loved ones, especially my wife. AND through the inequities of that human relationship, I see the awesome equities of our relationship with God through Jesus. I too love Him and have learned to relax in that realization.
Brian
Amen.
Great illustration: “Theology can become an idol, but it is more useful as guardrails on a road to the true God. Theology is very important, but it is not God, and knowing facts about God is not the same as knowing God.”
Your post made me think about how Paul compares the relationship of Christ to the church to marriage in Ephesians.
Great post! Thank you.
I talked about this with my mentor one time and he brought up the point that what I was called theology isn’t really what theology should be. He brought up the point that good theology is always meant to bring you into a closer relationship with God…to get to know him better. I liked that because it emphasizes the personal relationship.
As I was reading this, I kept thinking, he’s posted this before…then I saw the excerpt note at bottom.
Still my favorite book of yours.
I knew bunches ABOUT God before my dark night of the soul. But not until that night had I “fully” experienced what all that truly meant.
His love, His grace, His faithfulness, His intimacy came pouring in…because I finally ralized I needed Him. I had nothing left, and I needed Him to truly save me…all of me.
Worst night (year) of my life, will ALWAYS be the best one I ever had.
Experiencing Heaven during the year from Hell. The light cut through the darkness, and I’ve never been the same since.
Thanks for the reminder!
I loved this it was great and full of truth but… what do you mean by “and even a person who was a Muslim or a Buddhist could become a Christian if they had a mysterious relational encounter with Christ.” im not sure if i can agree with that it more than just a “mysterious” encounter you have to accept him as your savior right… i mean that you HAVE to agree with it says in the bible you must right so could i be a muslim and have “mysterious relational ecnounter with christ” and still worship allah and be saved?… is that what you’re saying because i have many muslim friends who im sure may have had some sort of “encounter” with christ but… i wouldn’t say they are saved they still don’t acknowledge him as savior CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS im so confused but i loved the passage
I get what you’re saying, but I think you are focusing in the wrong area. You seem to ask, “What qualifies someone as ‘saved’ and going to heaven?” I think we do a disservice to many people who didn’t grow up in the church when we classify this as a status or a finish line or something to be achieved. To extrapolate Don’s analogy of falling in love, when do you know you are in love with someone? Some people can look back and say “That was the moment.” For me, I start to realize that there was a period in my life when I just started falling in love with my wife. I can’t tell you the date, but at some point I realized I loved her and had for some time and I wanted to keep falling even more so. Sometimes I wonder if following Christ is the same way.
Thank you… thats a great analogy it helped me think it out a bit… Its hard for me to get past that topic of who is “saved” and who isn’t because I live in Dearborn MI it has the highest population of muslims outside of the middle east so many of my friends are muslim and some people that I even call my “grandma” or “cousin” (not literally but just emotionally close) are too so thats why i struggle with this topic sometimes… thank you so much for that analogy of falling in love I never thought of it that way and thats a good way to kind of explain it thanks
Reminds me of John 5:39: “You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me”
I have many friends who have stopped going to church, stopped pursuing a relationship with God because of the expectations religion put on them. It’s so sad. Thanks for the reminder to keep the gospel focused on the mystery.
Great post…great book for that matter. I believe the enemy’s goal is to get us to worship anything/anyone other than God. The things of God make for a deceptive idol and theology seems to be the latest fad. Thank you for reminding us that true Christianity is more like falling in love.
Wow! I have read “Searching…” and have two copies sitting on my shelf, but this excerpt hit me so hard. It’s been a couple years since I read it. I have been growing in this revelation so much lately, and everything from before seems like religion.
Theology is a description of something, but not the real thing. Theology has become to many Christians in the West, what science has become to many Atheists.
The reality of relationship with Christ is scary, because of the mystery. However, it is the most liberating and prolific thing I have experienced. Sadly, if I had read this 6 months ago, I would have agreed intellectually, but not grasped it spiritually.
“Theology is a description of something, but not the real thing. Theology has become to many Christians in the West, what science has become to many Atheists.”
This. Brilliant.
Jesus is a person.
Jesus is a real person.
Jesus was completely and totally human.
Really incredible.
Wish I could have known him in the flesh…
Makes me jealous of the disciples.
I guess the Holy Spirit isn’t half-bad in the meantime.
II was just talking about this idea recently in a theological discussion. I didn’t explain it nearly as well as you did, though. Next time it comes up in conversation I will just direct people to this.
This is spot on. Thank you for writing this! Yesterday, my pastor talked about how all we need in life, bottom line, is encompassed simply in trusting Jesus (that trust implying relationship). He mentioned this to someone earlier in the week, and that person argued that trust was not enough, that one cannot live a correct life without doctrine. It broke my heart. How often have doctrinal disputes led people to behave in a way Jesus never intended? If one is trusting Jesus, one also trusts He can handle the gray areas and will lead us through them in the right way at the right time.
Dead on and I so appreciate your saying this, Dennis.
I knew I had read this before.
Love it. Such truth. Thanks for still interacting with us via your blog even when you are hard at work on a new project. Blessings Mr Miller.
I quite value the study and contemplation of the Trinity in all His dimensions and aspects, just as I contemplate the wonderful dimensions of my wife or my children. It is certainly one of my expressions of love and admiration of them as it is for my Savior.
Problem is: the God of Scripture reveals a variety of false gods. Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light and is capable of creating experiences for spiritual singers. And as a liar he is perfectly capable of calling himself “Jesus.”
So question, Don: you say theology matters then end up dismissing it as essential to genuine Christian faith by promoting mysterious religious experiences instead. So what impact does sound doctrine have in your mind? If it matters, then how?
Oops! That should say “spiritual seekers.”
“…knowing facts about God is not the same as knowing God”
Really what it comes down to. I like the way you concluded the ideas as well. You can learn all the facts and theology you want, but until the person has a personal encounter with the Lord, it remains knowledge, not faith in practice, not a relationship. Afterall, its the relationship that adds any value to the theology anyway. Personal encounters are essential!
Thanks for sharing!
It’s been an extremely rough week (after attending the memorial service of a coworker this evening), and an extremely rough year I think, in regards to my faith and feeling or wondering if in fact I am losing my religion, though even as I sat and listened to the Pastor this evening give an invitation to accept Christ, I couldn’t help but wonder… was it really necessary? It felt more like an opportunity to buy in, and so, what are we buying into? A time share, a sticker of assurance? I would rather hear, “Yes, God loves you,” but does He really want our commitment? (the invitation always seems to be, “and so, commit your life to God!”) or does He want relationship? And then I think, “what would I want?” Commitment? or relationship? And what I’d want – is relationship. Commitment it seems then, would only stem from that.
Anyway, I liked the excerpt. It seemed timely and the more I find myself considering the why’s of “religion” the more I conclude – I want only to rely on God’s grace alone. Lately, it is the thief who hung beside Christ who strikes me most profoundly – who simply stated that he believed Christ was who He said He was, and knew that it was only by His grace and mercy that he might be spared – and so he was. I love that!
Couldn’t someone have a mysterious experience with Satan and be deceived into thinking he is God? The Bible tells us he masquerades as an angel of light and, being a liar and all, could just say he is Jesus.
I would think theology would become quite valuable in efforts of discernment.
“Evangelism, then, looks like setting somebody up on a blind date: God does the work, we just tell them about Him and where they can find Him.”
Thanks for this thought, DM. It’s contrary to my childhood teachings, and a relief.
j oliver
As I experience more deep mysterious sacrificial love in my marriage, I feel that I have also been learning how to be in this kind of relationship with Jesus. It takes work and really doesn’t come naturally since I’ve never been in any kind of relationship as grand as marriage. Marriage has opened me up to seek that same intimacy with Christ.
I have followed your writings since Blue LIke Jazz…and had the good fortune to hear you and Susan Isaacs in Birmingham, AL at Canterbury UMC. These past two blogs resonate. I quoted (with attribution and a link to your website) from these. Mea culpa. I hope others who might be unfamiliar with your writing and the ongoing dialog will find their way here. And beyond. Thank you.
A – friggin’ – men!
“In other words, a child could become a Christian if they had a mysterious encounter with Jesus, and a simple thinker could become a Christian if they had a mysterious encounter with Christ, and even a person who was a Muslim or a Buddhist could become a Christian if they had a mysterious relational encounter with Christ.”
That quote from you sounds like what I keep hearing over and over… ‘if’ so-and-so ‘could’ have some kind of ‘encounter’ with Jesus, then they could really be a Christian… Problem is, how is this supposed to happen?
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