Last night I stayed out till about 3am with some old friends. We shared the same stories we always share, stories about living in the woods, in the mountains of Oregon, about how we met in Colorado, about how we used to sleep on the lawn or meet each other outside one of our high schools, waiting for somebody to come tumbling out the window to skip for the day so we could go to the river. We all agreed those were some of the best days of our lives. And each of us has lived a life with no less risk, adventure or excitement.
As the evening wore down, one of my friend said to me, “You know, Don, I think I just assumed back then that everybody was special, that everybody wanted to live an exceptional life, but it isn’t true. The older I get, the more I realize people don’t really know how to live well. There are not very many special people in the world.”
I reluctantly agreed. I say reluctantly because in my line of work you meet and even seek out exceptional people. I’ve met tons of them, many of them having become my role models and best friends.
Now, by special I do not mean talented, rich or famous. I have very few friends like that. I just mean people who are doing life differently, whether that means home schooling their kids or showing their work in galleries or inventing a different kind of bicycle to save a country. I am talking about people who take social norms as suggestions, not mandates.
I confess I have little patience for normality. Oh, I love laying in bed on Sunday morning and watching football on Saturday. I think if you followed me around for a week you’d see a lot of normal. But I can’t live that way for long.
It’s not that I think normal people are boring or not good enough, it’s that normal people often have beauty and strength and abilities they aren’t using. In America, normal means that you are a follower, a consumer, not a creator. I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but I have felt this way for a long time. The truth is I don’t want to live a normal life. I want to homeschool my kids, on a boat in the Jervis Inlet. I want them to know that if they want they can grow up and be Senators, or Opera singers. I want to study Michaelangelo in Rome and Florence, I want them to worship Jesus in a Buddhist temple, befriend famous authors, assist in surgeries in the third world, ride their bikes across Africa and disagree, at thirteen, with columnists in the New York Times. Why? Because they can, and nobody is stopping them.
Many of us are normal because we are afraid. We aren’t taking responsibility for the exceptional opportunities that are laid before us. We have failed to realize that God shares agency with us. He shares his power, and even His will. God is the Father sitting with his child at a giant, blank piece of butcher paper asking us what we want to draw. And within reason, we can draw whatever we want.
I’m going to start a series on exceptional people and what makes them so exceptional. But I’m starting this series because I want all of us to understand that we can be exceptional, too. If you want to live an exceptional life, just strike out and make it happen. Nothing is stopping you.
So, keep watching in January. I’ll be featuring more than few of my heroes and together maybe we can learn from them.
As we start, and as offensive as the question may sound, what do you think makes people stand out? What makes somebody special?
Perhaps the better question should be “What makes people special?”
Response: Because “God so loved the world”. Period.
I didn’t think it was possible to find this post offensive, or even to disagree with it, but a lot of people are. Weird. I loved this.
My thoughts exactly!
You are special if you have made a difference in the life of another person…life lived in service to self alone stands out to no one…might as well be living in a pod…such a useless waste!
Also…thinking about this later…some people wear “normal” like camouflage….they live in the exceptional category…but blend in to the eye of this that don’t know them…while others wear “exceptional” like grand costumes…but what holds up to that final Refiners fire test? Hopefully we are all wearing our true fire retardant “exceptional” gear…never normal by earthly standards & always using the gifts we are filled with & empowered by the Holy Spirit…otherwise…waste & rubble indeed!
Awesome comment.
but blend in to the eye of *those* that don’t know them
lovely.
I wholeheartedly agree! I look forward to meeting these exceptional people, and being inspired with their stories. Won’t it be such a beautiful world when we are all living in that potential!
You are special if you recognize your niche, and use it to reverse any bad correlated with it. Are you good at cooking? Then feed people. Are you good at knitting? Clothe people. Coincidence we’re called to use our gifts for the good of others? I think not. We are all special, we are all God-breathed, how could we not be. The catch: the only ones who showcase the beauty of living it out are the ones who act on that supernatural power. The ones who recognize they can change the world because they have the power of the Almighty inside them, encoding their DNA to newly define them as nothing less than “world changer.” I think that realization can be conscious, subconscious, or perhaps a mixture of both, but it all comes down to love. Jesus is love-it all comes down to Him.
[...] Donald Miller ponders what makes certain people extraordinary: “Many of us are normal because we are afraid. We aren’t taking responsibility for the exceptional opportunities that are laid before us. We have failed to realize that God shares agency with us. He shares his power, and even His will. God is the Father sitting with his child at a giant, blank piece of butcher paper asking us what we want to draw. And within reason, we can draw whatever we want.” [...]
It is true that we cannot be afraid, since the opposite of faith is fear. Extraordinary people sometimes do quiet things like let spies hide on their rooftop, or sidle up to a landowner in the middle of the night to ask a strange favor. Or they do noticeable things like build a ship of wood 500 miles from the sea. I don’t think God asks us what WE want to draw, I think He wants us to be in such a passionate relationship with Him that we find ourselves asking Him what HE wants to draw, and asking Him for a crayon so we can help.
[...] two days ago, I read a post that had me thinking about taking risks, about doing things that set me on fire, about living in a [...]
I like what Apple was advertising a few years ago. “Here’s to the Crazy Ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world – are the ones who do.”
~ Apple Computers ~
I think to be special you have to be a bit crazy. The kind of crazy to actually believe in impossible things or what people think is impossible. Weather it’s social change or running a marathon.It’s the ones who are crazy who have the capablity to look beyond the consequences of failing or being wrong, which create the fear that holds us back.
I don’t think there are very many “special” people out there either. (I know some people find that offensive, but I’m a realist. There is no special if EVERYONE is special; it debases what really talented and unconventional people do and accomplish). But I do think that everyone has VALUE and a STORY to share, even those people that seem very “normal.”
That being said, it’s been a hard road getting to that conclusion. In general I’m an unconventional person. I’m proud of that. I come from a family full of them and married one. In fact I find it difficult to like/love people who are living traditional lives. Common targets: white people, esp. women, in the suburbs; people who own houses; people who buy brand new cars; people who don’t shop at second-hand stores, etc. But God has taught me that even people I *think* I don’t like (extremely pretty, married, cute husband, owns house) can sometimes have a heart story that speaks deeply to my own wounded heart. God loves to crack our hearts open.
People who happen to have advantages that “normal” people don’t often seem to think the things you mention are so “out of the box” and cool that most people don’t do them because they are caught in some kind of consumerist, inauthentic capitalist trap, when in reality a lot of people who live “normal” lives are just trying to survive, keep their kids in shoes, and, well…eat. All the things you mention sound terrific, especially if you have the money to do them. Just sayin’. I am, by the way, a fan of yours. I just think you are living in your head a little is all.
I agree, in our own small corner we are all called to be a light. But some of us are just about keeping our heads above water, quietly trying to live a God filled life that makes some kind of difference to the world… and sometimes thats exceptional in itself. But its nice to be inspired
And to answer the question of what makes people special? Seriously, God alone chisels away at all the nonsense that makes us ridiculous fakes, whether it be religious fakes, artsy fakes or fake unfake people. He grinds the points to a nub, and then starts the digging till He gets to the root. This tends to hurt like hell and is pretty embarrassing, but He’s the Only One Who can pull it off because our blind spots are just that: Blind Spots.
Good article, good comments. I do think that sometimes, people who have something horrendous happen to them early in life are the ones who try to keep their lives ordinary,or at least under control. You often never know what a person has had to overcome to live their “ordinary” life.
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Everyone has the ability to be exceptional. Not everyone wants to be exceptional. This is a great post, Don. I love non-normal people. I am drawn to them. They seem to live a “bigger” life, even tho they, too, struggle. I want to be exceptional …. non-normal ….. special.
I enjoyed this blog post. I’ve often wondered what makes special people standout. The special people that come to mind, tend to be positive, outgoing, inspiring and cheerful. I think it has to a lot do with their relationship with God. Additonally, I’ve observed that special people often have parents who provided (or are providing) strong support and encouragement. Special people say no to thinking in terms of me, my or mine; they often value service to others and reject self-centeredness and materialism. I feel so blessed to know a few special people. I’m looking forward to reading more about your heroes, Don!