Last night I stayed out till about 3am with some old friends. We shared the same stories we always share, stories about living in the woods, in the mountains of Oregon, about how we met in Colorado, about how we used to sleep on the lawn or meet each other outside one of our high schools, waiting for somebody to come tumbling out the window to skip for the day so we could go to the river. We all agreed those were some of the best days of our lives. And each of us has lived a life with no less risk, adventure or excitement.
As the evening wore down, one of my friend said to me, “You know, Don, I think I just assumed back then that everybody was special, that everybody wanted to live an exceptional life, but it isn’t true. The older I get, the more I realize people don’t really know how to live well. There are not very many special people in the world.”
I reluctantly agreed. I say reluctantly because in my line of work you meet and even seek out exceptional people. I’ve met tons of them, many of them having become my role models and best friends.
Now, by special I do not mean talented, rich or famous. I have very few friends like that. I just mean people who are doing life differently, whether that means home schooling their kids or showing their work in galleries or inventing a different kind of bicycle to save a country. I am talking about people who take social norms as suggestions, not mandates.
I confess I have little patience for normality. Oh, I love laying in bed on Sunday morning and watching football on Saturday. I think if you followed me around for a week you’d see a lot of normal. But I can’t live that way for long.
It’s not that I think normal people are boring or not good enough, it’s that normal people often have beauty and strength and abilities they aren’t using. In America, normal means that you are a follower, a consumer, not a creator. I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but I have felt this way for a long time. The truth is I don’t want to live a normal life. I want to homeschool my kids, on a boat in the Jervis Inlet. I want them to know that if they want they can grow up and be Senators, or Opera singers. I want to study Michaelangelo in Rome and Florence, I want them to worship Jesus in a Buddhist temple, befriend famous authors, assist in surgeries in the third world, ride their bikes across Africa and disagree, at thirteen, with columnists in the New York Times. Why? Because they can, and nobody is stopping them.
Many of us are normal because we are afraid. We aren’t taking responsibility for the exceptional opportunities that are laid before us. We have failed to realize that God shares agency with us. He shares his power, and even His will. God is the Father sitting with his child at a giant, blank piece of butcher paper asking us what we want to draw. And within reason, we can draw whatever we want.
I’m going to start a series on exceptional people and what makes them so exceptional. But I’m starting this series because I want all of us to understand that we can be exceptional, too. If you want to live an exceptional life, just strike out and make it happen. Nothing is stopping you.
So, keep watching in January. I’ll be featuring more than few of my heroes and together maybe we can learn from them.
As we start, and as offensive as the question may sound, what do you think makes people stand out? What makes somebody special?
Preach it! Rich people don’t amuse me, nor do movie stars intrigue me. People making a difference or overcoming insurmountable odds do. Bless you, Alida w5
This, is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I love when you have something in your head; you notice something, but you can’t quite grasp it or put it into words, and then someone comes along and BAM! Say’s exactly what you’ve been trying to say. I’ve been mulling over this for like two weeks now and you put it in such a way that it doesn’t come off as being offensive or condemning.
Anyway, I know a person by the name of Maggie. She’s homeschooled, graduated high school early and is working on getting some college classes out of they way (She’s 16….16!) She loves to write and sing, and play the guitar. She frequents local coffee shops and Starbucks, buys fair-trade items, organic foods. She’s recently obsessed with baking things with bourbon in them; made a bourbon cheesecake! She’s such a deep person, with such imagination and inspiration. Yet she’s also grounded. She knows what she stands for, loves her family, cares for her friends. I use her as my role model.
Life is a journey of course. By what standards do we judge if another person is exceptional?
I’ve lived in foreign countries, rode across europe on a bike for a summer, been in every state and camped in some remote areas of Alaska and Canada.
I’ve made bold career changes. Taken economic risks and what not. I”ve gone against the maddening crowd…when they chose to go one way, I went another.
But so what!
I chose to do that. That doesn’t make me exceptional, but I think my journey is what I wanted and wished it to be and I still have goals…and that has made my journey exceptional for me.
By who’s value system do we judge a person to be exceptional? I’ll use my own values for myself thank you. And I could care less what another thinks…as long as God is there and He will be the final judge. He gave me this life to live and I’m going to live it as He gave it to me, exceptional or not.
Life is to be lived and enjoyed. Don’t worry about it. Be happy that you were granted a life and that you weren’t aborted, murdered or killed in an accident before becoming an adult. Those things have saddened me….lives that were full of hope and never given nor had the chance for the adventure to be average or exceptional.
If you have made it to at least early middle age…rejoice….keep going and enjoy life…exceptional or not. Who cares.
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We should never be afraid to be different. Our beliefs, mould our values,and morals so that they are our own..and we should not have to continually explain ourselves. We each know our own heart and should follow that heart..with compassion, wisdom and grace..no matter what the circumstances are. The holy spirit well keep us in harmony with God.
I just want to be me..I was created to be me, but I do think I can improve. I believe I have plenty of room to grow, but it does not bother me if other people like me or not,although there was a time in my life when it did. My aim is to please God and live out the purposes I believe He chose me for, whatever they may be. If we fulfill His calling in our lives then we well impact and be special to the people that we come into contact with.
Haha So strange he would talk about this, I wrote a blog about this not too long ago. Great minds.
Every time I say the “n” word my step-dad cringes. The word “normal,” is the “n” word in the home I grew up in. I feel like all I’ve wanted my entire life is normalcy, much to my parents dislike. In adult-hood I moved out and attempted to make my life normal, only to be met by certain failure. I found early on that I was taught better than that, and that I would be bored by normal. I often find common things quite odd, Do you ever wonder why the majority, is in fact the majority?
Being special, in my lens, has to do with the occurance and level of passion. Passion alone is vainity, so it must be coupled with a desire to work for change. Change seems to take forever in the mind, but occurs more rapidly than planned. While taking on change, the ability to adapt, and acceptance that reality is now different must be met with gladness. Exuberance cannot win out though, because a little change is just that, little. So this special person must posess wisdom to know that something big for them is small for the world. The next step in the process of change is to remain passionate, breast the wave of change, accept reality, and keep working. This cycle isn’t to make love and work into labor, but intended to redeem passion.
1st- Perspective. which leads too…
2nd- graciousness
redheads.
What makes someone special? I’m not convinced that it boils down to one word. If I was to choose one however, my first choice would be–genuinity. Close second would be belief. Faith…..well, I am going to assume that faith would already have rooted through love. Good stuff, Don. I look forward to reading your future posts. Have fun!
“If you want to live an exceptional life, just strike out and make it happen. Nothing is stopping you.”
I used to believe that. As I skimmed most of the comments, I cannot think of many, if any at all, comments which are considering exceptional lives from a grounded, or even wounded, standpoint. Few people seem to have kids, let alone special needs kids. I did have dreams and goals and aptitudes that may have qualified as “exceptional.” Then I found myself in the horror of Christian domestic violence. I went to our friends, our church, and his family and no one believed me. My family is all very far away and my father was dying. I had to seek help from our legal system to protect myself and our kids. The aftermath from that has been horrifying. Now this deans list gal is learning how to apply for food stamps and my days are about survival and protecting my kids from knowing just how close we are to disaster. I scratch and claw my way through my days, taking care of my kids alone, dealing with my grief, betrayal, and loneliness. And I slap a smile on my face when my kids want to tell me again about the powers of every superhero both DC and Marvel have ever produced. All these comments about what makes people exceptional seem to be more about what makes people blessed, lucky, or mysteriously able to live life completely alone with no one depending on them. Until I get our basic survival in place, I’m unable to “…just strike out and make it happen.” What a wonderful notion. “Nothing is stopping you.” Really? I thought plenty of serious, real-world obstacles were in my way.
Beaten Down,
You rescued yourself and your kids from a life of domestic violence. That alone makes you exceptional. Do you know how hard that is? Do you know the statistics? You are the perfect example of special and exceptional. I cannot imagine your grief, your loneliness, your hurt. You are truly a hero.
I will be praying for strength and courage as you rebuild your life.
Much Love,
Kristi
I could not agree more with you that there were serious, real world obstacles on your way and I agree with Kristi that you are exceptional, even for raising your kids in spite of what you have been through.
We deceive ourselves if we say there are no real world obstacles. Jesus faced them, Paul wrote about persecutions, tribulations, thorn in the flesh. They are heros because like you, they faced serious real world obstacles and like you will by God’s grace, they overcame. I think you are exceptional already and if you could have raised your kids in spite of what you went through, you can not only get your basic survival in place but actually thrive against those odds.
How? I do not know the peculiar tools that you will need but I know that you are a hero for what you did already and the principles it takes to rise are not totally different from what helped you bring yourself and your kids out of domestic violence.
I think this blog has value to the extent that graceful and potent words can flow towards real life issues like this, so I am grateful for Kristi’s comments, saying she will be praying for strength and courage. You have been beaten down but I will start by calling you “Risen Up” and I have prayed for you too.
My dear, you are exceptional, and you already struck out, having courage to leave violence, protect your kids, provide for them and the best ‘smile at them while they tell you of the powers of superheros’! What a woman, what courage it takes to do this daily, without wavering! You are a heroin in my eyes! Super Mom in God’s eye, beloved child, adopted by God, you are royal, and the Lord Jesus is crazy about you! You might not believe that every second of each day; but IT IS True!
Know what, I am so proud of you, there’s nothing wrong with providing for your children anyway you can! I have several degrees, and I had to seek help in a food pantry and from friends when I lost my job this year! You migh have made the Dean’s list at one point, BUT you are making The Mighty God’s List of Women of Valor and Courage! You make us women so proud, and encouraged!
It’s truly sad that ‘Christians and family’ disappointed you, did not believe you, did not protect you and the kids! You want the truth, this was God’s way of allowing you to be the rescuer, the heroin for your own children and for yourself; He [God] did not leave you, nor forsoke you for a minute!
Proud of you lady! Hugs and More Hugs! will be praying and fasting for 3 days starting this weekend, and YOU and Your kids are in my journey those three days!
YOU ARE EXCEPTIONAL!!! yes you were put in a hard terrible horrifying situation but you saved your kids. Yeah you might not have tons of money or be in the best situation right now but imagine what might have happened if you stayed there with your kids, You have your life and your kids life and god is still with you no matter what. I hope you know that your story is the most inspiring thing ive read on here and i know its sad and tragic but its amazing and beautiful and you have done something great for your children dont ever let yourself get down or angry or sad because someone tried to hurt you you are exceptional and have started a path for your kids to do something just as amazing as they have done for you
I think that we are all ‘exceptional’ whether we know this or believe this or not. I think that it’s for each one of us to discover our own way in life and agree that we are the artist and the canvas, since God does share agency with us, as Don says. The trick is to not judge ‘another man’s servant’ and think that our ‘journey ‘ is somehow more valuable than other’s journeys. We are each eternally unique and valuable, and so is our unique history and story, no matter what others think of this. It’s like the ‘talents’ we all have different ones.
Didn’t like it, Don. I’m “normal”. I haven’t built a bike to save the world. I’m a teacher, which is a totally ‘normal’ job. Nothing too exceptional or special about being a teacher, except that I attempt to change the world one 7th grader at a time.
so there’s nothing normal about impacting 7 graders one at a time! they are complex beings, and it’s a job and a half to influence them and stir their lives in a great path! You are exceptional by all means! Each day brings you surprises and you live to tell about it! I bet you have dozen stories, and if you have taught for a while, then you got to see your kids to be men and women of incredible abilities and extraordinary lives
what’s ‘normal’ about that? Be Encouraged Nikki, and Thank you for giving yourself ot this noble profession!
I think “being exceptional” is sometimes a wonderful little secret kept until the future – like when a person grows up and says, “The thing that really made a difference for me was this teacher I had back in 7th grade…”
Nikki,
You are special. In my experience, teachers are exceptional people who work hard for little (if any) recognition or glory, yet persist, through challenging circumstances, because they want to make a difference, effect change and inspire greatness in others, even if it is one 7th grader at a time…
Didn’t like this post. Normal people, as you define them, are followers and therefore not creative? I beg to differ. I’ve read your books, and have been inspired by your words and thoughts and your accomplishments. I am glad that you have high hopes for your children. But please remember that humility goes a long way. Please remember that when you assume a leadership (teacher) role, YOU will be judged more strictly (see James 3). It’s a great responsibility.
Jesus’ disciples were normal, regular people. They were able to accomplish some amazing things by God’s grace, but I don’t think they thought of themselves as special or that they had a goal of living a full life. God has bestowed each of us with gifts, and I do hope that we all learn to recognize them. But how are we to use them? He is the only one who deserves the glory. He asked that we love our neighbors as ourselves. He asked that we serve one another, and was the ultimate example of that. I don’t know if the woman at the well went on to be exceptional, but she was forgiven, and the story of her meeting Jesus resonates until this day. I hate to say it, but your message reminds me of what I hear coming from the mouths of our recent rash of prosperity preachers, and again, I don’t like it.
You agree with a friend who says “The older I get, the more I realize people don’t really know how to live well. There are not very many special people in the world”? You say, “normal people often have beauty and strength and abilities they aren’t using”, and you don’t have patience for this? Unfortunately when I read this I immediately think of people who are living on the street in this or any other country. I think of people who are starving or being tortured. I think of women who are being beaten by their significant others. I think of people who are struggling with physical and mental challenges…I think some people are just trying to survive. Some of them might be “special”, some not. Some might find their way out. So many don’t. Don, your charitable efforts (i.e. with boys who are fatherless) are commendable, to be sure. I believe I discovered you after first reading about The Mentoring Project. I know you see the great needs of others and want to help. Sharing as you do in your books and blogs help. To be clear, I hear you. I believe that you are saying that people who have the means to do possibly extraordinary things might not be grasping those opportunities, and you wish they would. I just don’t appreciate or agree with how you presented this idea here.
My life story is certainly not as exceptional as yours, or your friend Bob Goff, for example. I am much more ordinary. I won’t bore you with my story, but I will tell you I try to live by the example of Matthew, Chapter 6. I will tell you that among the many people I admire, Dr. Dan Gottlieb is one.
I am heartened by the fact that you are open to what your good friend Chase spoke to you about recently. Don, I believe that you are exceptional, but not because you say so, and not for the reasons you are trying so hard to be so.
Sorry if I strayed off topic a bit, but your post struck a chord and I felt a strong desire to respond.
Laura – I couldn’t agree more.
Every individual was created in the image of his Creator. We all have a story that makes our unique experience qualify us as Special.
Glorifying those who chose to live outside the lines of society creates nothing but animosity. We need to stay focused on Christ.
We have all had mentors that have enhanced our journey, but they are just has human as the grocery store clerk or the guy who changed the oil in your car. As a society we have ruined an entire generation as they seek to compare themselves to one another attempting to fool themselves they are “Special”. The only way to truly be “Special” is to become a true reflection of our Savior. Nothing more, nothing less.
what makes someone special? you refer to things people do, but i think it’s more who people are. not everyone is passionate enough to do something, or predisposed to passion. not everyone is ambitious. not everyone have creative urges. sometimes people are just boring computer programmers living in suburbia. but, we all have a character that we cultivate. people whose lives we affect. character and relationships will last into eternity. and, if those are good in your life, that is what makes you special. to me, anyway.
yah!
Wow, great blog, thank you so much for sharing! This sounds like a really generic “I love it” comment… but I genuinely mean it, awesome post. I’m definitely looking forward to the new series and am subscribing via email so I don’t miss it.
I have been thinking a lot about almost the same thing, how we are these tiny creators created by the ultimate Creator. We’ve been given the gift of a blank canvas and an endless pallet of colors to create with. We can fling a smear of bright green across the emptiness or start with short, concise strokes of a brush.
What makes someone special is their willingness to pick up a brush and take on the challenge on their own, looking back at their instructor occasionally to ask for help in fixing a mistake, or seeking advice on how the picture looks so far or what the next step should be. I think average people are more like spoiled children who tell their parents, their instructors, to do their homework for them
Hopefully the metaphor there isn’t too cryptic.
Its love; for Jesus and others. The special people I know love without reservation and with premeditated boldness. It’s the fuel for their confidence and the inspiration in their adventures. It is what moves them. Peter walked on water, because he wanted to be near Jesus. thanks Don! Praying for you.
Oh, Don, you are partly responsible for our no-longer normalcy! God used your gift of speaking and writing to lead us to our “not-your-normal-life-of-retirement,” to Niger, Africa, and it is a such a fabulous experience! I am a person given to “too many words,” so I will try the nutshell version: A few years ago you spoke at Sunset’s men’s conference in Central Oregon, on the theme of “What Story Is Your Life Telling?” Since my husband knows I have read all your books, given away countless copies of Blue Like Jazz, and “hang on your every word,” he gave me CD copies of your messages, which I can almost quote verbatim! At the same time, we saw a tiny note in our church bulletin indicating a need for a teacher to missionary children on the Galmi Hospital compound in Niger, and with a few other guiding voices and circumstances, we believed God was “calling” us here for a season, and giving us an opportunity to “write a new story” with our lives! We try to communicate (non-judgementally) to others that they, too, could have more not-normal in their lives, but what that looks like for others is between them and God. I am just thankful for us it was Galmi! And, I might add, you are a “friend” of our non-too-normal, but fantastic, daughter, Liesl! Keep writing and keep being “not-normal!”
Thanks for writing this. It’s a challenge and encouragement to my heart. I think a little normalcy is alright too…sometimes I think it’s the normal, routine parts of our lives that push us forward to the special, exceptional parts.
Passion! …and people with “imperfections” they don’t feel the need to “fix.”
While I heartily agree with this blog post, I also find that sometimes God calls people to do “normal” or everyday things with exceptional heart or love. Perhaps that is what I am hoping, as a wife, mother, and mom to one “typical” daughter and one with special needs. As I look at my life today, and look forward to my life in the future with a daughter who is always going to need assistance to manage life, I can only hope that my daily love and care for her, my teaching her to do “ordinary” things over and over, matter to this world and to God. While I will never cease looking for opportunities to do extraordinary things, I hope that what I do in the day-to-day means something too. I pray that God gives me the heart that I need to do these simple things well!! And I know my daughter, in her ordinariness and need, is tremendously special to our family and those who know her!
Exceptional, hmmm, I suppose that is in the eye of the beholder; the same as beauty. I did backpack Europe for a summer and live in a foreign country on my own for a year…does this make me exceptional? I would have thought so, at least back then.
Right now, I work a 9-5 at a large communications company and am raising two wonderful boys with my husband. We live in a suburban town and do suburban things. My boys are happy and healthy and we are enjoying our life.
Sometimes just being the “normal” is exceptional.
What I have realized over 21 years of becoming myself through attempting to live the words of Jesus in Matt chapters 5-7 is…not many people live with awareness of what they are choosing to do. Very few know they have choices, and even fewer take responsibility over those choices.
My goal, and highest compliment, is when someone tels me that my writing, singing or speaking has made them think! Way too little thinking going on!!!!
When you find someone who is aware of life and is tuning into who God created them to be – that is VERY special indeed – and those people will change the world for God, one small act at a time!
In my book, these are the ingredients of a special person:
1) They’re an ordinary person
2) They recognize that even in their ‘ordinariness’ they have something to offer the world — this is their gold
3) They have the courage to step into their fears, go against the grain, offer their gold to the world, and create or make something happen that wouldn’t have otherwise
To me, special people take risks because they can’t help it. They don’t think about “what if this doesn’t work?” They act, think, react, think, keep pushing or change courses quickly. Fear isn’t a part of who they are so they just do things and see what happens. Just to clarify, I’m not saying they’re reckless, they just look at everything as a choose-your-own-adventure book where they can start over if they get eaten by the dragon. I’m trying to do this more, but it’s definitely a daily challenge.
Didn’t mean to reply to Nikki’s comment…but thanks Nikki for being a teacher!
Fearless Obedience.
I think you were right in your reluctance to agree with your friend who said, “There are not very many special people in the world.” I would rephrase it to say “There aren’t many people in the world who have realized that they’re special.” I think that’s what you’re saying when you talk about normal people. I like that you said that they are followers/consumers and not creators, but calling them normal dehumanizes them, makes them just part of a crowd. It’s human to be special. It’s inhuman to not recognize it in others. So many people are told (either by themselves or others) that they are mediocre; that they’re not special. Unfortunately a lot of people believe that. It seems to me that “If you want to live an exceptional life, just strike out and make it happen. Nothing is stopping you.” should be your thesis
Don,
I like the gist of this and I think you are right about most people not living up to their potential.
I have to pick apart one thing though. You say that the best time of your life was with friends from high-school and then within the same thought you esteem home-schooling as if it is something that these special brand of peoples do. Home-schooling deprives kids of these moments that you describe. I was home-schooled. It sucked. I know, I know, my parents must have done it wrong or something. But in the end, it is stifling to healthy socialization.
My personal conclusion to this piece would be this: Exceptional people live normal lives, but they treat every task as if it were special.
Thank you notes. They used to be normal. They no longer are. Because of that, people who write them now are exceptional. The thank you notes themselves aren’t special, but the fact that a few people can make someone other than themselves a priority and actually say so often moves me to think differently about them — as in above and beyond the normal.
Just a simple thought about a very complicated issue.
I just disagree. I get where you’re coming from. I’m a wanderer by nature, so I think it’s easy to forget that I’m the minority. And I also think being this type of personality lends itself to dissatisfaction. I find I have a hard time being content, so I search and seek for “exceptional” things to do — and ultimately, I’ve had interesting experiences, but it doesn’t fulfill me. I always want more. That’s how I feel reading this.
I feel like you’re describing an adventurous soul, yes, but to say that people are consumerist followers, or not living exceptionally because they don’t want to worship God in a Buddhist temple (I’m not sure I understand this, honestly, it seems like trying to prove a point, as what purpose does this serve?) or befriend famous authors (which not many of us can do), seems rather short sighted. And I know this was not your overall point, but it can easily be read that way.
The definition of “normal” seems off. I would wager the majority of the world is normal in the things they do — and a world full of not-normals would be a rather chaotic place. Just because some are more comfortable being in one place and not making waves, doesn’t mean they have no impact or sphere of influence.
I don’t think God’s calling has anything to do with how many places we go or protests we attend. People aren’t exceptional JUST because they test social norms. It’s all about the way we live in relation to others. Each one of us can live extraordinarily by cultivating our relationships, taking care of one another, and helping our brother or sister through the journey of life.
Honestly, choosing to believe as we do is already against the social norm. We are truly exceptional in Who we choose to follow and why.
Of course, that’s all just my opinion… but I appreciate the discussion.
Brooke – I so appreciate your response. How thoughtful and what great points you make!
Thank you. The message of this post is implausible, and assumes a tremendous amount of privilege. There is a great deal of value in a “normal” life, and I’m extremely grateful I am one of the few people in the world who is fortunate enough to live a “normal” American life. Because it is very trendy to be down on consumerism when you have the ability and money to benefit from it as well.
I am aligned with Brooke, and I think she said it well. In my opinion, Mr. Miller, you need to go watch It’s a Wonderful Life again. Have you forgotten how much one person affects the lives of those around them? I see your point and I get how sad it is to see someone with unmet potential, but I think you are missing a whole slice of this picture and coming from a very performance-based view of value. I have no problem with your wanting to showcase some friends who are doing some amazing things, but I think the fact that you and your friend don’t find more beauty and amazement in the people around you says much more about you than it does about the people you are looking at.
Living life loving the people around you is extraordinary and far from easy. I know many people who are not changing the world but are changing the world around them touching many “normal” people’s lives in the process. To me, that is extraordinary.
I find myself aligning with those who find “special-ness” in those who do what is ordinary with great love. Mother Teresa sent more than one North American wannabe missionary back to the US with the kind admonition that they find a way to serve in our country, which from her perspective suffered a poverty of loneliness such as she’d seen nowhere else. To listen well to those no one else hears; to welcome those others ignore; to build up those others knock down … these are the acts of special people. And if we are particularly blessed, we may see fruit in our lifetime. If not, we will continue to have faith in Him who gives the harvest.
And let’s be careful not to define “exceptional” as “extraverted” !! There are lots of introverted people who won’t get much attention in the short run but will have tremendous impact over the long haul …
Though I can’t define what is behind it, what makes one “special”, is their ability to inspire others. The interesting thing is, the most inspiring people often come in pretty “normal” packages. The most beautiful person I know is a suburban mom who has raised her 4 boys alone for the past 10 years. She has prayed for her husband who was hurtful and lost, given when she has had nothing, has taught me to live intentionally, and she shines of Jesus. While she is just a normal girl, she is again, the most beauiful person I know. She is special. She is inspiring. So are you, Don.
First of all, kudos to Beaten Down and Nikki; neither of you are living ordinary, “normal” lives. You both go into the dragon’s den everyday and come out alive, if not entirely unscathed. I have a friend in the same situation as Beaten Down (may I change that to “Survivor”?); it hurts my heart to see her in this situation and we try to help as we can, although it’s hard to do so w/out wounding her pride. But the ways she’s grown in the Lord is amazing and I wonder if it would have happened to the deapth it has if she hadn’t had to go down the path she did.
Also, Nikki, we have several teachers in our family. How can you possibly think of that as a “normal” job?! There is nothing normal about facing aprox. 30 jr. high students every period of every class day. It is a daunting job that few people want to take on, but we so need educators here and through out the world. I teach Sunday school and I love it so much, I start thinking I should get my degree in ed. But then I think about teaching in the public school system and “no way” keeps coming to my mind. Pat yourself on the back, girl, and go get ‘em!
Living an extraordinary life is all about counting one’s blessings, in my opinion. And special or exceptional people are those with a heart of gratitude, who find joy and richness in the mundane, and do not take life’s common blessings for granted. For instance:
1. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more fortunate than the one million people who will not survive this week.
2. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the world.
3. If you can attend a church or political meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, then you are more blessed than three billion in the world.
4. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in your pocket, then you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.
Exceptional people recognize and acknowledge how truly blessed they are, and continually give thanks to the Lord for the provision He has made for their lives. This attitude of gratitude helps touch other people’s lives in both small and great ways!
Thanks for making this homeschool mom of 6 feel exceptional. (To most people having 6 children and than homeschooling them is exceptional.) But to me it is a privilege to have a front row seat to see what God will do each day with our lives. Although most days and most lives are lived in the mundane. It is what we do with the mundane. It is the exceptional God that we serve and see each day that makes it exceptional. It is where we look each day. You can choose to look at the dirt everyday or look at a great big beautiful sky, ocean, landscape or those beautiful people God puts in your life everyday and even those not so beautiful people. It is where we focus our hearts and minds. In most people minds the exceptional people are those people who did what needed to be done each day are the exceptional ones. The single mom who gave everything to raise her children, the person who gave up the amazing trips & fortunes, to feed the poor, the Dad who works hard all day and than comes home and counts it his privilege to love his family, the amazing God who not only gave up his Son to suffer and die for you and me but to watch and feel everything he went through. (As a Mom it is harder to watch your children suffer than it is to suffer yourself.).
Hmm… I like to believe that the extraordinary exists within the simple.
I have biked across parts of Africa to raise money for a non-profit, worshipped in a Buddhist temple, climbed the Great Wall of China, cared for communities of sick and poor in dozens of countries, and dined with senators and a president. These are all amazing stories to tell – they garner attention, amass questions and looks of wonder or excitement. But there is a certain amount of emptiness that accompanies these kinds of grandiose adventures that so many people consider to be extraordinary.
Now, Like Nikki, I am a 7th grade teacher. I left behind my “extraordinary” life of adventure to firmly root myself in a very normal community – where my every day existence can often seem very mundane. Until I get a couple of days off to reflect on how truly extraordinary our every day lives are. It is extraordinary to hold my sister’s new son for the first time. It is extraordinary to drive a 12-year-old to soccer practice so they don’t have to walk there in the rain. It’s extraordinary to hear my grandmother’s stories of her young family in the 40s. It’s extraordinary to watch my 7-year-old niece attempt to go bowling for the first time. It’s extraordinary to root yourself firmly in a community of people and then commit yourselves to seeing each other through good and bad times, normal and exciting times. These are the places where real life truly flourishes for me. These are the moments that are growing me in to the kind of person I want to become. They don’t make great, impressive stories – but they grow humble, balanced, and committed people.
I can see both ways… I think Don isnt saying that extraordinary is necessarily BIG impressive things i think he is saying that they are risky things for you that take you out of your comfort zone or what you enjoy and put you somewhere that your not used to so that you can grow and experience anew what god has for us
I swear sometimes I believe you can read my mind and seem to take the words right out of my thoughts! You are so inspiring to me and I appreciate you so much because, as you’ve said, there are few people in the world who actually think the way people like us do. My biggest fear is to live the “normal” life and I pray constantly that God will give me the courage to never back down to all my fears. Very much looking forward to your promised series on exceptional people and why/how they’re special; I anticipate that I’ll be in agreement with your list, as Im almost always in agreement with what you have to say. God bless you, Don
What makes someone special? Someone that listens. Really listens.
[...] Miller asked in his post, What makes someone stand out? What makes someone special? Which falls on the heels of a book [...]
I love this article and with life, I’m all about rediscovering it and defining success in your own words. I want to scale the face of a giant rock, give a home to the forgotten children of Burma, and sip tea in Siberia.
But most importantly what makes an individual exceptional is purpose. ‘Just because you can’ isn’t reason enough for me. Passion motivated by what God has given us and done for us is my purpose. He rescued me from an aimless life and from the abomination of my sin. He has declared me innocent and a child of the Most High! THAT is what motivates me. He is the One that defines purpose. He is the One that has blessed each one of us with different gifts and dreams. Why? to share them, to make this dark, cruel world a better place.
So what makes people special? Embracing purpose; constantly seeking after the mysteries of our Father. Following the very individualized path He has plotted for each one of us and embracing each curve and mountain along the way as a divine brush stroke of a greater masterpiece painting.
I think people who are using something they love and is unique to them to make a difference for people around them are what stand out to me. This post really came at the right time Don and I thank you for that because im struggling with making a very large choice at the moment and I dont want to be just normal so im praying and hoping ill make the right choice.
Just curious, why is worshipping Jesus in a Buddhist temple one of the things to aspire to?
I’ve been thinking about this for a couple days now. Tonight I watched “Iron Will,” an inspiring film about a young American hero. Will’s father tells him, “Your place is where your dreams are. Don’t forget it.” I think some people know this intrinsically. Those are special people, who live their lives in the place where their dreams are. It took me a long time to begin living that way.
[...] What Makes Certain People Special, Part One [...]
What makes us not normal and what makes us special? Being children of the KIng is what makes us not normal. It’s not about what we do, it’s about our relationship with Him. It’s living to be who He made us to be and walking in what He has told us is true. If we do that, we will follow what He wants us to do which may be great in some eyes, and it may be small in others. It doesn’t matter what others think – only what He thinks. Our calling is to walk in relationship with Him and that is what makes us special. We are a child of the One and Only Living God – that makes us special!
I agree with you, Robyn. It is all about our relationship with Him! I think sometimes our dreams are so strong and so compelling that they could actually be our calling. If people live according to their calling, using the talents they were given by God, those people can be an enormous blessing to others.
[...] quote from Donald Millers Blog – What Makes Certain People Special. http://donmilleris.com/2011/12/28/what-makes-certain-people-special-a-new-series/ Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. Published: 12/31/2011 [...]
I just finished a Theology of Disability class (auditing @ my alma mater) and the main assignment was to be mentored by a person with disabilities. Learn from them, be with him or her, a get our eyes opened to their own specialness.
I didn’t choose my son, but instead a 15 year old boy who can speak about 5 words. He’s profoundly disabled, but I learned more from him about living and being loved than many a professor could teach me. (It was a Henri Nouwen thing).
I think we’re wont for a new definition of special…or specialness. The church has (wrongly) given capability merit, rewarded competency, and favored human-contrived giftedness. In doing this, we haven’t learned from the people God has given us, who can teach us the most important things: the disabled. Especially, the profoundly disabled.
We usually decide our heroes should be capable and captivating. In admiring them we miss the whole point.