10Aug, 2010

Excerpt from Bittersweet, from Shauna Niequist

Posted by Don
3

My friend Shauna Niequist has a book coming out and I asked her if I could feature an excerpt. The book is Bitter Sweet, thoughts on Change, Grace and Learning the Hard Way. Congrats on the new book, Shauna. Here you go: My best friend Annette and I laid on our towels until we realized that someone was standing in our sun. We squinted up at a big man with a big camera wearing a Girls Gone Wild hat. He told us that if we went out in the water and kissed and took off our bikini tops, he’d give us each a hat. We stared up at him. Where to start, really? We sputtered out unrelated phrases like, “Um, those are our husbands, right there in the water …” and, “You know, that’s not really our deal …” and, “Uh, we’re like a lot older than you think we are …” Finally, we gave up explaining and said, “No, thank you. No. No, thank you.” He shuffled away, and a few minutes later, there were lots of girls in the water, kissing and taking their tops off. Huh. Questions abound. Our first question: “Wait—did he really think we were [...]

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03Aug, 2010

Let Story Guide You Pt. 1 – Would the Hero Say That?

Posted by Don
1

In movies, the bad guy has to display he is the bad guy through actions. It won’t do to have a subtitle come on the screen that says “this is the bad guy.” A cliche, yet effective methodology is to have the bad guy belittle somebody who is weaker, poorer of less fortunate. A bad guy will belittle a servant, a waiter, a spouse or child. The reason screenwriters write these scenes is because, eventually, the bad guy is going to get killed, and they can’t let anybody in the audience feel sorry for them when this happens. They have to establish how bad the bad guy really is. In real life, the bad guy doesn’t always get killed off, but that doesn’t change the fact we don’t like him. And ultimately, bad guys get what they deserve. They end up alone, or worse, surrounded and yet lonely. They may take advantage of people but the world doesn’t run on money or fame, it runs on love, and when you take advantage of people, you end up without love. The other problem with real life is it’s hard to tell whether or not you are the bad guy. We all [...]

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29Jul, 2010

Advice to Single Guys About Dating

Posted by Don
0

A couple months ago I excerpted a chapter from Father Fiction about what women are looking for in men. Honestly, when I wrote that chapter, I wanted to write an entire book on the subject. I’m 38 now and it’s not that I’ve figured out much, but if I could go back in time to my early twenties and explain a few things I’d have saved myself a lot of trouble. So today I was moving books to a new bookshelf and I came across my friend Steven Simpson’s book What Women Wish You Knew About Dating. Steve is a psychology professor at Fuller in Southern California and he and I skype sometimes daydreaming about projects. But I hadn’t read his book. Taking a break from moving books, I sat down and read a chapter, and then another, and quickly discovered Steve had already written the book I wish I’d read when I was twenty. If you don’t like formula books, or books that are overly spiritual (good, practical advice with language and scripture passages that seem like they are placed to pacify church people rather than actually enlighten us about a text) then you’ll like Steve’s book. I won’t [...]

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28Jul, 2010

Lucy’s Blog Pt. 7 – How I Stay Fit Without Exercising

Posted by Don
3

So if you’ve followed this blog at all you know I work as a writer but also as a private detective, basically tracking down cheating spouses and that sort of thing. That has severely limited my ability to keep up the blog. So on a few days a week my dog Lucy covers for me. Here are her thoughts on exercise: I hate exercise. It’s completely stupid. I’d no sooner stand around in a gym lifting weights than you’d eat your own poop. Eating your own poop makes complete sense because it’s filled with vital nutrients but standing around in a gym lifting weights makes no sense at all. I never, ever exercise. Call me lazy if you want, but I don’t exercise and don’t see the point of it. I don’t set fitness goals, I don’t plan out my week, I don’t work with a trainer (not the kind of trainer you’re thinking of. I work with a trainer sometimes and fitness trainers could learn something from my trainer, actually. If fitness trainers threw a mini-snickers at their clients every time they did a push up people would want to do more push ups but that’s off the subject.) [...]

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23Jul, 2010

Lucy’s Blog Pt. 5 – How to Love and be Loved

Posted by Don
2

Every so often Lucy, my dog, will take my blog for the day. It’s nice to get a break, honestly. I think she has some wise things to say. Here’s Lucy’s most recent blog: I pretty much like everybody. I don’t like them instantly, though, but if they show the slightest bit of niceness I like them immediately after and I like them a lot. When somebody first comes to the door I bark at them to let them know this is where we live. I set very clear boundaries. And then I get so excited to see them and be with them I just about explode. When my bladder was smaller I would just pee right there on the floor. I peed because I was very excited and also to show that I would be submissive and I wasn’t going to threaten them. Not all dogs are as trusting, but that’s another subject. Here’s the thing about people, though. Not everybody is going to like you back. But that’s okay. You shouldn’t hardly think about that at all. A dog can only take so much love. I have more than I even know what to do with. Here’s how [...]

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