Instead of saying “I believe that we should…” try “I believe we should…” The word “that” makes the sentence weak. It loses some of it’s punch and makes the writer sound apologetic.

Go through your latest blog or chapter in a book and take out the word “that” as many times as you can. Treat it like a cuss word from now on, that is it’s okay to use sometimes, but sparingly and only when it actually can’t be removed.

Ridding your writing of the word “that” is much harder than you think. It seems to sneak into every piece I write. Often it’s not until the third or fourth editorial pass I get rid of all the excess “that’s.” Sadly, even in this blog entry I had to delete a few. They’re like cockroaches!

I hope that this tip helps your writing. Or better said, I hope this helps your writing.

Writing Tip: Treat the Word “That” Like a Cuss Word is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Jimmy Stewart. An actor I've always associated with good character.

The blogosphere is abuzz with advice for the new year. We’re being given tricks and tips on getting ahead, becoming more efficient and so forth. But as a guy who helps people live better stories, I have to tell you the best advice I’ve ever heard is simple: Work on your character and a good life will come to you.

Of course we have to define “good life” and we also have to acknowledge this is far from a “biblical law” that is destined for success. To be sure, nothing is for sure. But I like the idea and find it comforting. I like the idea that I can stop trying to control the people around me and just work on myself, just work on being a slightly better Don.

Does it mean everything will be great? No, not really. Conflict is part of every good life. No meaningful story is void of conflict. But what it does mean is that in every context, I can always control what I can control, and that’s me. Just because there’s a storm on the ocean doesn’t mean there has to be a storm within me.

Here are some interesting camera angles I’ve found on the topic of good character. Or here are some reasons I’m going to focus more on character:

1. I’m tired of tricks and tips. I just want to be. And I want to be better. And I am being drawn to slow-growth metaphors rather than quick-fix solutions.

2. I don’t want to go getanything anymore. I don’t want to stand in line at the “discount good life shop.” I just want to enjoy a sunset or sunrise of drive in the country or book. I think having good character IS the good life, in a way. Practicing good character has a way of stabilizing us and keeps us from pining for the things we don’t have. Having good character means cleaning up our inside world, rather than filling it with more stuff like an emotional pack rat.

In the end, having character is about settling. And I firmly believe one key to the happy life is settling. By settling I mean it’s a decision to no longer be gluttonous. I’m gluttonous in so many ways. Not just with food, but with relationships and praise and money and so many other things. Having good character means settling for what little I have, and participating in life rather than trying to conquer life.

3. I think it’s true that character attracts character. When we find ourselves surrounded by people who lack character, it’s probably because our lack of character created compatibility. It’s not always true, but like people often find each other. When we have good character, we have better, more easy conversation with others who have good character and our relationships soon become networks of good people. This is comforting to me.

4. Having good character means having fewer regrets. I hate regrets. I hate sitting around thinking of the crappy things I’ve said to people, or the crappier things I’ve done. I want to build in a few years without regrets to look back on.

5. Having good character is better than making people think you have integrity. It’s fine to have integrity, but it’s a waste of time to convince others that you do. Working on my character seems more Godward and inward focussed than outward focussed on what other humans think. Having good character feels more like having good weather inside you. I want good weather inside me.

I’m going to think about this for a while. Work on your character and a good life will com to you. Will you test it out with me? Lets see if it’s true.

Work on Your Character and a Good Life Will Come to You is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Man, I’m a sucker for controversy so I placed my order. Surprisingly, the book has been out of print for a while and I could only get this used, battered copy, and it cost me more than the sale price from twenty years ago. Two words: WORTH IT!

Love Wins is a romance novel by Barbara Cartland (who knew John Piper read this stuff? So few men talk about it even though we ALL read them ALL the time! John Piper and I are SO BESTIES NOW!)

Love Wins: Caught in a fierce love triangle, Joan June is torn between her dentist and her chiropractor. The dentist has more money, obviously, but is less open to the spiritual ideas and natural practices of the chiropractor. One gives her security and the other pops her back for free and introduces her to the ancient practice of smelling plants and rubbing oils and bird poo on her face. And whale music. What ever shall she do?

Thinking she’s made her choice, and on her way to tell the Chiropractor he’s the one, June doubles over on the street with a severe tooth ache? Is it a sign? You’ll have to read the book to find out that, in fact, she chooses the dentist! And the chiropractor turns out to be two-timing her anyway. Occasionally she looks back on a life that could have been, but each time she thanks God in heaven for the good man she’s found, even if in moments of temptation she spreads a little dried bird poo on her cheeks to keep her looking young.

Man this book was good. With all due respect, John Piper has no idea what he’s talking about. Read it. Love it. Feel it. Live it. Thank you Barbara Cartland.

My Review of Love Wins is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Today is the last day to get the pre-registration price for the Storyline Conference.

If you’re needing a bit of clarity in your life, or wanting to jump-start the story you are living, come visit Portland in June with hundreds of other people who will be mapping out their personal storyline at our two-day conference.

How long has it been since you’ve performed a life evaluation? Here are five reasons to attend Storyline:

1. Because you can walk out of the Storyline conference better understanding what you want to do with the rest of your life.

2. Because you’ll come to understand why some roles in life don’t work for you and others seem to work great. You’ll understand the “kind of character” you play in life’s story and be able to shape your story around that role.

3. You’ll have a broad map showing you where you currently are in your story and be able to list the priorities you can focus on now so the story is as impacting as you hope it can be.

4. You’ll meet people from all over the country who are interested in the kind of life you are interested in and are hoping to tell the world a better story with their lives.

5. You’ll get to spend a few days in Portland, one of the best cities in the world. Come on out and join us!

Five Reasons to Register for Storyline is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

1. A creator loves what they do.

2. A creator knows how to do what they do.

3. A creator does what they do.

You’re probably thinking “duh” right? But when I apply this to my life, there is value.

1. I fell in love with writing during high school. I wrote an article for the youth group newsletter and received positive feedback and that was it. My love affair with words began. It was my new identity, and that impure motive, perhaps, turned into a genuine appreciation for the written word. I’ve not stopped thinking about how to phrase ideas since. A love for the art is important, because without it, you won’t pull through. If you want to the identity of a rock star, good luck. If you love music, you may get the identity but hopefully you won’t care. You and your love will just make great music and enjoy life.

2. Malcolm Gladwell points out that the average “genius” is no genius at all, but has spent ten-thousand hours honing their craft. Steinbeck’s early work has flashes of genius, but he rambles. Nobody is born great. It takes work. Lots and lots of work. When I first started writing, I wondered if I had something special, if I could be like Steinbeck. I was hoping there was some magical ability within me that would shine out and get discovered. But these are foolish thoughts. The best way to get discovered is to work very hard, very long hours and get good. People discover what is good.

3. And I’ve been offered jobs in video and screenwriting and other stuff that doesn’t have a great deal to do with books. I’ve taken some of these jobs, but I’ve noticed I’m not as good at them as I am at what I do, I write books. And I have to remember that. A creator focusses, hoes the same land for decades and keeps the soil fertile. He isn’t lazy, he works, every day, moving the plot forward. In addition, a creator actually makes things happen. Creative talk and exploration is not the same as the act of creation. A creator can hold in their hands what they’ve made. Little blog entries and practice poems won’t do. A creator makes things.

So, I hope that helps. Here are some questions to consider. What do I love to do? Am I good at it, and if not, am I practicing and do I love the practice. And lastly, what am I making. Am I writing a book, painting a series of paintings for a gallery open, pushing songs forward for an album, creating a line of clothes for a fashion show, writing a series of sermons?

Lets go and create.

Three Characteristics of a Creator is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

They are going to build a bridge in my neighborhood to span the Wilamette. There are proposed pictures floating around on flyers and we are to log on to such and such a website and voice our opinions. They are all bad, in my opinion. They are all very functional and they will work well to flow traffic. But none of them are attractive.

The ancient cathedrals, indeed, the ancient bridges and government buildings, the ancient piazza’s were extensions of the city, were the clothes the city wore on a day designed to impress. These monuments were also extensions of their creators. Michelangelo and Da Vinci were sought after to create buildings and bridges both.

A great creator does not see his work as something apart from himself. What the creator makes is a statement about the creator, and a manifestation of their sensibilities, which is one with their experiences. Our modern buildings, our strip malls and stripped down buildings say of our culture we are one with efficiency, with selling goods and services. Was God being efficient when he created a woman, or was He being extravagant? Is a cloud the most efficient way to water crops, or is it functional and aesthetically brilliant? Are the sunrise and sunset more than a functional way to dim the lights?

Our man-made creations do, still, speak something of us. They are proclaiming we have lost our souls and our selves.

A Creator and His Work are One is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Man’s Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

Essay by Donald Miller

The following is an excerpt from Besides the Bible – 100 Books That Have, Should or Will Change Christian Culture, which will be released this month by Biblica.  The book was authored by Dan Gibson, Jordan Green and John Pattison of the Burnside Writers Collective, and features guest essays from Donald Miller, William P. Young, Jonathan Acuff, and Phyllis Tickle, among many others.

In 1942, psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, along with his parents and pregnant wife, were taken by Nazi soldiers into the concentration camps, where his family would eventually be killed. Frankl survived the camps, including Auschwitz, and in the most dire of human circumstances realized a personality theory involving man’s need for meaning—a theory that would contend with Sigmund Freud, who was alive at the time and positing that man’s primary desire was not for meaning but for pleasure.

Tested in the concentration camps, Frankl realized no amount of torture could keep a person from living a fulfilling life, if only they had three elements working for them: a project in which they could contribute, a person to love, and a worthy explanation for their suffering.

His finding interestingly mirrors the Teacher’s search for meaning captured in Ecclesiastes. The Teacher argued that one should find enjoyment in his work and in his wife, that one should fear God, and that while, technically, meaning is hard to prove, experientially it is possible within this framework.

Frankl rightly argues meaning is experiential, and his three elements provide a recipe, if you will, to experience that meaning. His emphasis on worthwhile suffering stands in contrast to an American culture obsessed with comfort. One might say our lack of suffering fuels a cycle of meaninglessness.

What makes Frankl’s argument so important for the church is its invitation to suffer for the sake of the gospel, indeed, to suffer for something worthwhile, thus providing a sense of meaning to life. Christian leaders, then, should not try to make their congregants more comfortable, but call them into challenges that, by necessity, involve discomfort and even suffering if they are going to shepherd their congregants into more meaningful lives.

Frankl’s book is no more religious than the Teacher’s essay on meaning, and yet both have a masterful religious subtext, delving into the complex nature of fallen man, resistant against exposition at odds with their intended purposes.

Frankl’s book has now sold more than twelve million copies and is considered one of the ten most influential books in America. He died in 1997.

Besides the Bible? Man’s Search for Meaning is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

The best part of the conference was meeting and talking with all the people we’d been praying for for months. It was surreal for us. Processing our first Storyline Conference has been interesting. There are things I love about the conference, the fact that even with 500 people in the room it felt intimate, and the fact that we got to hang out in places other than the Armory. I am already wondering how we duplicate those dynamics for our next event.

We live in a world of open dialogue and I’d love your help. As I process, though, I also know the notebook needs to be made more robust, and the points need to be more clear. In addition, the story examples I use need to be more diverse. The end goal is to inspire people and equip them to live great stories, and so we want to keep getting better and better at that. We need to talk more about how some stories don’t work, and what to do when they don’t. And there needs to be much more about how it is we share agency with God when we tell our stories, and what that interaction actually looks like. As a theorist, my liability is making things practical, and while I overcame some of that in the workbook, a Grinder or Keeper would contribute a great deal more, so I will be think-tanking with them to make the tools better and better.

Lori is doing well. She’s still in Oregon but goes back to Denver soon. We will be working with her closely to help her get organized and Live a Better Story. But I also told her today, that lots of stories don’t work out. Most screenplays never get made, most books never get published. That’s just part of the process. You keep writing, you get up every day and you keep putting something on the plot, and if it doesn’t work, you start another story. In my life, about half the major stories work out. That was a point in my notes, but I rushed over it because I was running behind.

Talking to Lori today on the phone helped me understand, once again, how important each of our stories, and by that I mean our lives, actually are. Our lives set the moral compass of the people around us. If it weren’t for some of the stories my friends are telling with their lives, I’d have no guidelines for my own, no moral or creative reference with which to tell my story to God and to the world. I know that our stories matter, and if they didn’t, God wouldn’t have placed us into the epic.

I am so grateful for you and I can’t wait to hear your stories.

We are doing Storyline again, on January 23rd and 24th, and we are hoping to make it better. Would you mind telling us what you got out of it, what was helpful, and what would could do to be even more helpful? It’s terrifying putting all this online, because the natural tendency is to focus on the negative, and the feedback we got so far is overwhelmingly positive, but at the same time, we want to make the tools better and better to give real-life storytellers more and more to “live” about….

Here are very specific questions we need answers to. It would help a great deal to know:

1. Which tools in the notebook were most helpful?

2. How could the notebook be a better take-home tool to process the conference?

3. What points needed more emphasis?

4. What points were not helpful to you?

5. What ideas were confusing?

6. What was the most inspirational?

7. What was the most practical and applicable?

8. What would have made the experience better?

9. What made the experience good?

Feel free to add your own questions and of course your own answers. These are the questions we are starting to ask ourselves as we prepare for January!

Thanks so much!

Don

P.S. BECAUSE I HAD A TRIP TO CENTRAL OREGON PlANNED, I WON’T BE ABLE TO MODERATE COMMENTS…BUT BELIEVE ME, WE ARE READING THEM AND TAKING NOTES! THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT!!!

Storyline, An Open Letter to Attendeees! is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Belmont is handing out cash to their students.

In denominations of five, ten and twenty bucks, hundreds of students will be handed packets containing cash and asked to “do something” with the money. The idea is they can’t spend it on themselves, and they have to use it to tell a great story. Each student will consider what to do with the money for a few days, I am sure, and then launch into a creative endeavor to make something great happen with the dollars they have been given. If you want to follow along, you can read some of their stories here.

I get to be part of this campaign as an experiment to have fun with the concepts in A Million Miles. The idea of an inciting incident involves passing through a doorway of no return. With a twenty-dollar bill in hand, and knowing they can’t spend it on themselves, students will start making things happen, bringing stories into the world that would never have taken place if it weren’t for them, and for the inciting incident of being handed a packet containing the inciting incident of a great story.

What creative thing would you do if somebody handed you a twenty and you knew you had a to create a great story with the money?

A Campus-Wide Inciting Incident is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog

Leaders Aren’t Cynical, The Character Trait that Might be Holding You Back

Cynicism and immaturity go hand in hand. Cynicism is, essentially, the desire to disassociate or the fear of associating with something that might not work or isn’t fashionable. But leaders can’t afford to be cynical.

How to Change a Negative Character Trait

Trying to lose weight, start exercising or stop talking about people behind their backs? Making a hard-lined commitment may not work. But this technique just might.

The Problem with Black and White Thinking

Is there an absolute truth? Absolutely. But is life black and white? Certainly not. Black and white thinking is a sign of a brain that is not fully developed, and yet more and more of our culture thinks in either/or propositions, and these people are drawn to the church because it gives them a code by which to divide the good from the bad, the smart from the stupid and the black from the white.

Best of the Blog: Cynical Leaders, Negative Character Traits and Black and White Thinkers is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog