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John Wooden said “Your reputation is who people think you are, your character is who you really are.” So, what would it look like for us to have great character in 2012 and stop working on our reputation? Who really cares what people think? I learned this lesson several years ago. I ran into a person who worked endlessly on their reputation but had terrible character. When their character was revealed (which happens in intimacy) they were a complete let down. The truth is, they wouldn’t have been a let down at all if they would have been themselves. People don’t judge who we are, they judge who we’ve led them to believe we are.The more time and effort we put into making ourselves look great, the longer and harder the fall when the truth comes out. And eventually the truth comes out. What I took from that relationship was difficult, but it’s something we have to face in our early twenties, usually, and that’s there’s a difference between our reputation and our character. Since then, I’ve decided not to work very hard on my reputation. Or at least I hope that’s true. I air most of my dirty laundry, [...]

My favorite psychologist is Viktor Frankl and he offers a bit of advice that will be helpful for us as we start the new year. Perhaps it is more of a mental trick, but the idea is to imagine you are living your life for the second time around, asking yourself what you’d do differently this time. It takes a second to get your mind around the concept, but when you do you’ll find yourself approaching life with more discretion. For instance, if you think about your career, what would you do differently in 2012 if this were the second time around? Would you create deeper relationships with your coworkers and clients? Would you focus more on only a certain number of projects? What about your relationships? If you could do 2012 over again, would you spend more time with the people you truly love and who truly love you? Would you stop yourself from being spread so thin? Frankl’s tip is a handy way to help us understand what really matters in life. It gets us thinking about what’s ahead, has us living the entire year in our mind, anticipating our mistakes, and then invites us to live differently. [...]

Here’s a little unpublished parable I wrote trying to explain how I sometimes feel about the church. It’s wordy, so you might want to print it out. And don’t get mad if it ends up as the first chapter of a book some day. Here you go: You’ll be a Dentist Jack was born to be a dentist. Both his mother and father were dentists and from an early age they took Jack with them once a week to their local dental school. Even as a child Jack loved dental school because of the children’s program where kids gathered in colorful rooms and listened to well-mannered teachers read ancient stories about famous dentists, pioneer dentists who created endodontic and prosthodontic procedures. Jack sat wide eyed and mouth agape, as close as he could to his teacher as she turned page after glorious page of cartooned characters knuckle deep in the mouths of sun-drenched and bushy-bearded patients. Jack would color pictures of molars and lateral incisors, first and second cuspids and third molars, sometimes referred to as wisdom teeth, the teacher would say, handing Jack a black and white line drawing of a tooth wearing a cap and gown. When Jack’s [...]

Last night I stayed out till about 3am with some old friends. We shared the same stories we always share, stories about living in the woods, in the mountains of Oregon, about how we met in Colorado, about how we used to sleep on the lawn or meet each other outside one of our high schools, waiting for somebody to come tumbling out the window to skip for the day so we could go to the river. We all agreed those were some of the best days of our lives. And each of us has lived a life with no less risk, adventure or excitement. As the evening wore down, one of my friend said to me, “You know, Don, I think I just assumed back then that everybody was special, that everybody wanted to live an exceptional life, but it isn’t true. The older I get, the more I realize people don’t really know how to live well. There are not very many special people in the world.” I reluctantly agreed. I say reluctantly because in my line of work you meet and even seek out exceptional people. I’ve met tons of them, many of them having become my [...]

This isn’t one of my better little scratch-out blogs. But I’m okay with it. I’ve enjoyed coming to my desk every day and pulling out the little pad and playing Andy Rouney for a minute. I like this one, even though it’s hardly worth anybody else reading. I think I just needed to preach to myself for a second about who I am and how I live. I’d forgotten. Come the new year I’ll be blogging a bit more about hopes and dreams and starting over and all the usual fair for blogs in January. I love thinking about that stuff. For now, here’s some end-of-the-year rambling. Hope you’re holidays are going swimmingly!